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Nerve has hired the Infinite Monkeys as bloggers. They’ll almost surely find some news. 

Infinite Monkeys spent the night tossing and turning. Last week started off absurd and ended like a swift kick to the gut. So there we were last night looking to a little TV, some Sunday night HBO, to bring us back from the brink. Instead we watched Colin Farrell ask if his son if someone shit in his shoes and say he would fuck the bully’s father with his mother. Jeez. Calm down. As others pointed out the premiere fell as flat as a circle.

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Obama, the president who is running the clock out until our Trump ascends the throne, was in Marc Maron’s garage for a long, intimate conversation that only Maron can facilitate. He seemed to take aim at liberals who don’t quite understand that presidents are more like middle manager than dictator and can only make so much progress. He said some things about race and himself and his values but all CNN cared about was that he said the N-word. He also said the thought he was getting better at being president, at least knowing the right people to talk to.

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Infinite Monkeys would like to thank Dick Oranges for having the best name ever. We would like to thank Taylor Swift for standing up to Apple on behalf of millionaires and wish everyone the sweetness of Parbunkells. Maybe we weren’t supposed to say that?

We tried to get the Nerve editors to take us to the museum this weekend but they were too busy working on their cars. We took this video:

More bananas!