Advice

Cinema Sutra: Bound

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The movie: A thriller in the noir tradition, Bound adds a nice twist by having the revenging, thieving wife (Jennifer Tilly) have a lesbian affair with her co-conspirator (Gina Gershon). Since it’s a potboiler, I don’t want to give anything else away…

The scene: Apparently, if you’re two guys directing a film — in this case, the Wachowski brothers — and you want some hot girl-on-girl sex, it’s a good idea to bring in a consultant. And who better than Susie Bright, a dear old friend of ours and erstwhile editor of the annual Best American Erotica anthologies? In this clip, Tilly and Gershon finally act on the frisson between them, with the former giving the latter some serious manual pleasuring.

What you need:
• a hand
• a woman

The mechanics: Since Bound was a mainstream release, we don’t get the details of exactly what Tilly’s fingers were doing between Gershon’s legs — though clearly whatever it was, it was working. So wanting to know some answers to that age-old question of whether women have the inside track on how to touch other women — and how they do it differently — I polled a few bisexual gals to see what they’d say. Interestingly, their answers were rather consistent: yes, women do tend to give better handwork than men do, and there are some definitive reasons why:

• Women tend to tease and delay. Apparently it’s rare for a man to understand the added arousal of deferral and build-up. There’s no need to rush to the clitoris; instead, it can be hinted at and hinted at, increasing expectation and enthusiasm until finally delivering.

• Women stay on the outside longer. Where men often think it’s about sticking it in — if not the penis, then as many fingers as possible — women realize most of the nerve endings are at the entrance to the vagina. And the clit, of course, is entirely on the outside.

• Women are gentler on the clit. Since men don’t have one, it’s harder for us to know what to do with one — and how hard. Women vary a lot as well, so what any given woman prefers might not work on another. One needs to discover carefully what each particular person likes best — and even that can change, depending on circumstance and how far along she is in her arousal.

• Women incorporate more of the body. In the clip, Tilly has one hand in Gershon’s mouth while using the other on her lower half. This is a great tactic, allowing the receiver to echo the pleasure they’re feeling off your fingers, heightening everything. But in general, women know that genital-only contact is nowhere near as hot as full-body, and the more things that get involved, the better the genital touching actually feels.

• Women know where the G-spot is and use it to their advantage. Many women experience a lot of pleasure from contact with the spongy tissue on the top of the vagina. (Still searching? It’s toward the front of the vagina; with a finger inside, curl it toward you in the famous “come hither” motion to find it.) Incorporating the G-spot can add a whole new dimension to the woman’s experience.

• Women aren’t intimidated by a vibrator. A lot of guys think that if a woman “has to use” a vibrator, it means they’re not doing a good enough job. Au contraire. Many women just like vibrators, and it’s no reflection on the man one way or another. Once he gets comfortable integrating some buzz into the sessions, the woman can have a lot more fun.

• Women know it’s not necessarily about coming. Men can be a little too orgasm-obsessed; for many women, manual stimulation won’t be enough to make them come, but that’s not necessarily a problem. If it’s a good time, it’s a good time, regardless of the result.

Lesson we learn: As men, we’re at a disadvantage; our bodies are coded a little differently than women’s, and it’s hard for us to know exactly what they’re experiencing. But listening to what women say about how they like to be touched is not really all that mysterious. And most women are very open to telling you what feels better or worse, so if you can check your ego for a second and not assume you’ll be perfect at it the first time, it’s possible to learn what makes any given woman tick. Just don’t think the same things will work on the next one!

Click here to read — and learn — more in Nerve’s Hollywood Sex Scene Database.