Advice

Cinema Sutra: Eyes Wide Shut

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The movie: The once-great Stanley Kubrick must have known he was coming to the end of his days and thought to himself, “Screw my reputation as a talented filmmaker; I just want to get Nicole Kidman and a bunch of other leggy women naked.” Still, as we Halloween hosts start planning our end-of-month festivities, the costume-party/orgy scene certainly gives us something to strive for.

The scene: Tom has heard that there’s an invitation-only costume sex party at a mansion. He gets a Venetian mask and cape and decides to crash, but is quickly identified by the powers that be. A very tall, leggy, and bare young woman, also in mask, tries to help get him out of danger. All she really succeeds in doing, however, is looking great in her just-a-little-more-than-birthday costume.

What you need:

• licentious guests

• hot costumes

The mechanics: It actually is possible to host a naked party; I went to one in college and it was surprisingly well-attended. Of course it helped a lot that we were in college, and the person who threw it was the most enticing woman many of us had ever known. Once she said that the dress code was none — and enforced it — people were willing to drop their skivvies just to be a part.

The same can be true for slightly less racy affairs, and the same rules apply: everyone has to know the dress code in advance, and the host has to make sure there are no exceptions. Trying to recreate the specifics of Kubrick’s scene will be tricky: not a lot of women will agree to wear only mask and thong if the men are all fully clothed. But adapting the theme to a high-end, Venetian-mask-and-something-suggestive affair would be seriously sexy — and remind enough people of Eyes Wide Shut that you might jumpstart some extra naughtiness.

Some other tips: offer prizes for the sexiest costumes — male and female — and say that men aren’t allowed in if they’re not in the company of women. That will help keep the skeevs out and make the women more comfortable. People who arrive overly dressed can also be modified at the door (a little removal here, a little unbuttoning there). But it will take a vigilant and unyielding door-person, at least till things get rolling. From that point, anyone in insufficiently sexy attire will probably be embarrassed to look prudish. The party should self-regulate.

Finally, try to get the host to be the hottest, most oversexed woman you know. No one will be able to set the mood quite like she, and the crowds will turn out just to see what she’ll wear. And if the task ends up falling to you, remember that hosting a sexy party isn’t that different from simply being sexy: it starts with confidence, continues with charm, and ends with commitment. If you believe you can pull it off, you’re already part way there.

Lesson we learn: Halloween, as we all know, is the best excuse of the year to dress up sexy. And, yes, it would be nice to live in a world where we didn’t need an excuse, but in this world, we’d better capitalize on the chance. You’ve got less than two weeks till the big night, so get ready to take it off and hit the town. You don’t want to have to wait till next year.

Click here to read — and learn — more in Nerve’s Hollywood Sex Scene Database.