3. Embrace exhibitionism.

It's widely held that men are visually stimulated and women don't know how to use their eyeballs except to look at shoes and children and housework. If the success of Magic Mike, and the subsequent Channing_Tatum_stripping.gif explosion (I was doing research, okay?), is any indication, ladies like to stare at hot bodies, too. It helps if you get excited by showing off your own body, and are eager to stare longingly at the bod of your person of choice.

Lots of advice about Skype sex will tell you that lighting and posing are very important because you want to look your best for your audience. I think it's more that you want to feel attractive in your own skin. So pose a bit in front of your own camera. Figure out what you're comfortable with. Make sure that overhead light doesn't make you look like you're in jail. (Unless you are in jail.)

I like my body. I like the way it looks, but I mostly like it for the pleasure it brings me. It's taken me a long time and a lot of work to feel that way about myself, and I'm lucky that I finally do. It makes me especially happy that my partner's happy looking at me. It's likely that your partner already finds you attractive and wants to look at you. Otherwise, why are they wasting their time and your time? If you can't find confidence in any other aspect of Skype sex, find confidence in that.

4. Dirty talk is easy.

In we're-in-the-same-room sex, there's a simple formula for effective dirty talking. One, say what you're going to do. Two, say what you're doing. Three, say what you just did. Now, on Skype, it's a little trickier, because all you can really say is what you want to do (and what you're doing to yourself). But that can be hot, too! There's a bit of a learning curve when getting comfortable with dirty talk, but porn can help. Nothing coming out of the mouths of porn actors is poetic or complex. It's mostly just, "Oh yeah, baby. You like it when I do it like that? Yeah, you like that." It's not, you know, rhetorically sophisticated, but it works.

5. Having sex via the internet doesn't excuse you from tenderness.

Call me a girl, but lying there after most kinds of sex with people I like, I want to check in with my partner, talk to them, find out about their day, their dreams, make them laugh or see if they can make me laugh. You know, communication. Developing intimacy. Verbal cuddling, or somesuch. So even on Skype, it's considerate to follow up, especially after the first time. Send a quick text/email/gchat/phone call/postcard the next day — "That was fun!" should do it.

And speaking of which, have fun! This is not serious work. It's okay to giggle or fuck up or whatever. Remember, you're going to be moving your laptop around to get a better angle of your genitals, so I wouldn't worry too much about keeping a straight face.

Want to make a cyber-connection on the information superhighway? Meet someone on Nerve.


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