Dear Ejected,
On the contrary. You're probably too tight. You need to relax, Ejected. It sounds like your muscles are clenching up. Sometimes a lightweight piece of plastic is no match for an aperture capable of expelling nine-pound humans and ping-pong balls.

There's also the matter of lubrication. Are you using too little? Too much? You might want to try a vibe with a different size or shape, or the same one you're already using but on a lower setting. You ever see someone's cell buzz so hard it falls off the bar table? Same principle.

What about the way you're using it? Try sitting up vs. lying on your back, on your side, stomach, bathtub (if it's waterproof) and see if that makes a difference. Forgive me if this sounds rudimentary, but are you holding on to Buzz Lightyear with one or both hands? If not, grab on. Your little lady's strong, but C-cells have an unfair advantage.

Finally, just cause all that plastic's there doesn't mean you have to use it. I know a lot of females who only use the first inch of their vibe. Penetration, schmenetration. They just hold it against their clit. Same orgasm, and if you wear panties you can drastically cut down on the number of times you have to wash the freakin' thing. My dishwashing aversion extends to dildos, so it's great for lazy sluts like me.

Until Jobs and Gates come out with a self-cleaning sex toy, check out the Luxury Collection at GoodVibes.com as you're scoping out a replacement. I'm particularly in love with the YVA Steel. (Velvet rope and hunky museum guard sold separately).