Want to play Miss Info for a day? Send an email to erin@nerve.com with a response (500 words or fewer) to the question at the end of this week's column. Next week I'll post the winners.

1st prize: One membership to Nerve Premium.

2nd prize: Two tickets to New York City's Museum of Sex.*

3rd prize: Strip Jointz — A whole album's worth of music to get naked to.
All entries must be submitted by 9:00 p.m. on Monday, June 9th. Good luck!
*You can substitute another prize if you live out-of-state.

Dear Staring Down the Barrel,
You're one person, with one opinion, and you're supposed to speak for all men? What a bummer of an assignment. What we need to do is find that critical balance — between delivering feedback that's honest enough that you don't feel like you're doing your friend (or perhaps more important, the dating world) a disservice — and firing up the old honesty grill and serving up a picnic's worth of skewering character jabs to her lower intestine. (All of a sudden this column's turned into The Ethicist.)
If it were me, I would give her a modified version of what she's asking. The stuff about not taking criticism? Don't make that your leader. Do like we do at my advertising gig — start and end with the good and sandwich the icky bits in the middle. (Speaking of food, here's another advertising trick — buy her lunch or a couple brewskis. Bad news always goes better with free booze and edibles). Be prepared to come up with specific instances and examples, but you'll probably want to stop short of storyboards and a PowerPoint presentation. Best of luck, friend.
 

Dear Inexpressive,
When people ask for mushy-gushy they're not necessarily going after words. They're going after feelings. Their own, to be more specific. They want reassurance that the objection of their affection likes them — or even better, loves them — a whole mess. This knowledge makes them feel special, safe and secure. (I know that was a lot of marshmallow to sift through. Here's a Joan Jett chaser.)
You're in luck, Inexpressive, because you can communicate that same sentiment in a number of non-verbal ways: surprise car washes, bear hugs, volunteering to see that super-shitty movie he's excited about and making it through the whole 137 minutes and previews without a single wiseass remark or complaint.
Before you go crazy with the cookiegrams and blowjobs, I want to warn you about something. There's a difference between being inexpressive because you're bad at it and being inexpressive because your feelings for the other individual are weak, non-existent, or waning. It's common for people to convince themselves that they're "just not that type." It relieves you from the spooky grunt work of facing your feelings and having awkward status talks — the kind of activity that can lead to a breakup.
I know the following sounds like it's ripped from the Big Book of Advice Columnist Cop-Outs, but you're really the only person who can decide that. If you're still uncertain about how you feel — and I'd be surprised if you weren't — I think you'll get your answer anyway. If you're really into him, you'll keep trying and trying to get better. If he's really into you, he'll recognize your efforts for what they are and try to be more patient. You're coming from different places — old high-school war wounds, recent relationships, your parents' marriages. How well you can get away from the "my way is right, your way sucks" mindset will be a good indicator of whether or not you'll make it.