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Have a question? Email erin@nerve.com. Letters may be edited for length, content and clarity. |
Last week I ran a letter from Cheater Cheater, a philandering husband who was probably sticking it to a bridesmaid during the "forsaking all others" part of the marriage vows.
Some of you wrote in to respond:
Wanting to get laid all the time is normal for a guy. Most guys just have enough sense/morals/respect for their wives to keep it in their pants. What kind of a slimeball would do something so hurtful to someone he allegedly loves? Show a little restraint. — Mike
Stop asking them what to do, Cheater. They'll never understand you. And if you have the people skills to do six women on the sly and maintain a beautiful marriage, then you probably already know what you need to do. — NDM
Do you know how shitty it is to be the number two person in your lover's life? The answer is, very. This is damaging as shit, and not a nice thing to do to someone. — DE
As a woman in the polyamorous community, I would just like to say: Please, don't grace us with your presence. — LK
I agree that we have evolved from shit-flinging apes, but probably not as far as we would like to think. Maybe we should rethink the standards we set for one another. Cheater's not-so-eloquent ability to question why he behaves in a way that is detestable to so many (including himself) is at least a start. — Tucker
| Dear Miss Information, I'm a virgin, twenty-two years old, and a pervert. I just didn't want to deal with the pregnancy/STD scares my friends had in college. Lately I've been hooking up with this guy, and I am really ready to fuck. However, he seems to think that I'll sleep with him and fall deeply in love. I think this is ridiculous. Am I wrong? Is he right? Will having sex automatically make me lose my mind? Yes, I Know That Sex Does Not Equal Love |
Dear Sex Does Not Equal Love,
Sex has never been scientifically proven to make anyone a moron, though I've been fucked so hard I've forgotten my address (cue "Memories" from the hit Broadway musical Cats).
Anyway, neither you nor your guy is completely correct. Virgins don't automatically fall for the first person they screw, but it has happened. Whether you're a virgin or otherwise, entering into a sexual relationship always carries an element of emotional risk. You can say you're not going to get attached, but quite often it turns to shit. If it does, it sucks, but you get over it. That's the way the game is played.
It sounds like you're willing to take the risk but he's not. Maybe he's so emo-sensitive that he can't bear to hurt your feelings. Maybe he thinks you have big-time potential to go psycho. Either way, I'd save my cherry for someone a little more enthusiastic.
| Dear Miss Information, I am a twenty-three-year-old virgin. It's not like I don't try. In the beginning there weren't any worthy candidates, but now that I've found someone, it hurts too much. We've tried many times, and each time I've had to stop it. When he tries to finger me, it hurts, and afterward I have to pee. Is something wrong with me? Is there something I can do? Love Hurts |
Dear Love Hurts,
Lots of possibilities here. It could be painful because you're not relaxed or not using enough lube. That gotta-go sensation could also mean your boyfriend is stimulating your G-spot. That makes a lot of women feel like they have to go when, in fact, their bladders are emptier than Katie Holmes' head. You could also be suffering from a UTI or some sort of vaginal infection loveliness. Finally, your boyfriend could just be using shitty technique — mashing on your clit like it's Play-Doh, using his dick like he's drilling for oil, etc.
Don't freak out; it's probably first-time jitters. Even so, go see your gyno. Make a list of all your symptoms before you go in. There's nothing like a cold room and an assless gown to make your memory go to shit. Keep at it, ladygirl. You can do it. Really. n°
| Previous Miss Info |








Commentarium (14 Comments)
The advice for "Love Hurts" to see her OB/GYN (or get one if she never has) is good. When I met my wife, she had a fibrous hymen, impossible to penetrate without intense pain, and she needed surgery to remove it. Can a (lubricated) finger go in without pain? She can also go to an adult store and pick up a selection of vibrators of different sizes. Try small ones (batteries optional) first, and work up to the larger ones. At what size does the pain start? Use lots of lube. The K-Y liquid is pretty good for this.
re your response to love hurts: this woman might have a clinical condition called an imperforate hymen. this is a condition in which the hymen has no (or in some cases, an extremely small) opening. it occurs in 2% of all women and can be remedied with a quick, 10-minute surgery. not enough people are aware of this condition, which can sometimes go untreated until puberty or even longer.
Ok Miss,
Lets get to it! A vigin who is a pervert? Come on! This chick needs a reality check. Still, she should have said and you should have asked why she considers herself a pervert. That would have made it interesting.
The Love Hurts letter is just plain igorance. A 23 yr old woman who doesn't know she should discuss this with her OBGYN??? News Flash cutie!!! There are lots of diseases and serious medical issues that you should get enlightened on if you are woman of sexual and child bearing age.
WAKE THE FUCK UP FOLKS!!!!!!!!!
it hurt a lot when i lost my virginity too. for the first 2 weeks we had to stop early, and then it took a while to be on top, but the pain soon subsided and now its great. ive talked to people that said it was really painful and people who've said it didnt hurt at all. it depends.
in reference to "sex does not equal love", i held onto my virginity for longer than most. after i lost it, i ended up dumping the de-flowerer a week later.
Y8YixK Author, Shoot yourself a knee!!!
Hooray! the one who wrote is a cool guy!!!
Gripping! I would like to listen to the experts` views on the subject...
Author, Shoot yourself a knee!!!
Yeah, in my opinion, it is written on every fence...
Not bad post, but a lot of extra ....
Yet, much is unclear. Could you describe in more details...
Can be also this issue because the truth can be achieved only in a dispute :)))
It`s really useful! Looking through the Internet you can mostly observe watered down information, something like bla bla bla, but not here to my deep surprise. It makes me happy!!!
Now you say something