Dear Miss Information,

I've been with my boyfriend for four-and-a-half years, most of that time long-distance. Our relationship was amazing and, to most, pretty damn close to perfect. We broke up recently because he'd begun to do things behind my back that he knew wouldn't make me happy. He never admits to anything, even when I already know the truth. He manages to turn things around on me, no matter the situation, making it seem like everything is my fault. In his eyes, he does nothing wrong.

This is how the breakup went: I sent him a text at midnight telling him that we needed a break. In the text, I explained to him why we needed a break, and that he had been hiding things from me. He texted me an hour later saying, "Yeah, we are done." Just like that — no explanation, no clarification. He sent texts after that telling me that he did nothing wrong, but if he did, he shouldn't care because all I did to him was lie — again, turning things around on me.

I replied saying how betrayed I felt, how hurt I was, and how all I wanted was for him to admit to things and to apologize. The last text I got from him said, and I quote, "Get out of my life, you lying, unfaithful, cheating ass!"

I never replied to that. I was too heartbroken. I've been an emotional wreck since. He's all I think about. If I were in his shoes, I don't think I could just leave things at that. How can someone just not care? He has yet to call/text me, and I get a feeling he won't — he's extremely stubborn and prideful.

I just don't know what to do. Text him first? Wait for him to call me? What if he doesn't ever try to contact me? I know that talking to him face to face would be the most effective conversation, but again, we're long distance. Should I ask him to see me so we can talk?

— Utterly Heartbroken

Dear Utterly Heartbroken,

Let's do a quick round-up of how you've described your ex in this letter: "He never admits to anything. He always manages to turn things around on me. In his eyes, he does nothing wrong. He'd begun to do things behind my back that he knew wouldn't make me happy. He's extremely stubborn and prideful." This guy is newly single? Do you have his number?

In all seriousness, UH, you say not one nice thing about him, then spend the last paragraph trying to angle to get him back. While I appreciate the M. Night Shyamalan twist, I'm going to stop you right there. You are understandably hurt, understandably mourning, and obviously still reeling. All of this is normal. However, don't confuse "this hurts" with "getting him back will stop the hurting." Getting him back will not undo the behind-the-back-things-doing, the gaslighting, or the stubbornness and pride. Getting back together won't nullify the sting of his words or repair the breaches of trust.

You wanted a breakup; you got it. His reaction just took the control out of your hands. You have every right to be upset, but it really looks like your instincts were right. Delete his number and put your energy into moving on. You may someday get the explanation you seek, but don't sit around waiting for it.

Want to meet someone who won't sleep with you and run away? Meet them on Nerve.