Advice

Miss Information

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Have a question? Email erin@nerve.com. Letters may be edited for length, content and clarity.

   
Dear Miss Information,
    I started dating a woman six weeks ago. We haven’t had sex yet, but whenever we make out, she does this dry-hump thing that chafes me more than it gets me off. I’m worried the sex is going to be horrific. Should I be? — Rubbed Raw



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Dear Rubbed Raw,
    A quick primer on dry humping: one of the reasons it feels so good for us girls is that it provides a firmer yet less direct sensation than manual stimulation or oral sex.
    There are ways to recreate this sensation for us without inflicting pain and pressure on your own manly bits. Try having your partner climb on your lap and do a bump and grind using your knee. Another option — one of my personal favorites — involves you flipping over on your belly so she can straddle your butt and groove on your tailbone.
    If you can bear the pain for a short period of time, there’s also the option of saving the heavy-duty humping as your finishing technique to take her over the edge.



Dear Miss Information,
    I’m writing about a fling that began and ended long-distance. I’m completely over him, but apparently he’s not over me. Ten months after it ended, he still writes me compliments about my online-profile pictures. I’ll be seeing him in a few months and I’m nervous. I don’t want a relationship with him, but I’ve been going through a dry spell and wouldn’t mind the hookup. At the same time, I don’t know if he’s over me enough to keep this safely at fling-level. How can I tell? — Student Body


Dear Student Body,
    So he’s looking at your profile pictures. Big deal. The advent of the internet has made it incredibly easy to check up on everyone from your gynecologist to your grandmother, and God knows you don’t want to fuck either of them. Or maybe you do. I’m not here to judge.
    Ten months is a long time. Who knows what’s happened to your level of attraction to him since then? Drooling over someone’s pictures is not the same as interacting with them in person. This is a “can’t call it till you’re in it” situation, and I wouldn’t give it much more thought. Be flirty but distant over email, go on your trip and see what happens.
 

Dear Miss Information,
    I met a great girl through the “platonic friends” section of an online personals site. We hung out and had a fantastic time, and though we talked about some very personal stuff, she never mentioned a boyfriend. I don’t want to come off as a jerk who’s looking for action, but I have to admit that I’m into her. Is it a bad idea to ask her out? — Pretend Friend

Dear Pretend Friend,
    Ask her out. Worst-case scenario? She has a boyfriend and gets offended. And if she does have a boyfriend, she should have dropped that little factoid somewhere along the line. Someone who calls you Snoopypants and fucks you on a regular basis is never far from the front of your mind, and if he hasn’t made an appearance if one of your “very personal” conversations yet, it’s because she’s hiding him.
    As far as your guilty conscience goes, give yourself a break. It’s not like you’re volunteering with the terminally ill and trying to get a piece of one of them. Online personals are for meeting people. A lot of folks select the “platonic” option because they’re too scared to come out and say that they’re looking for more. You won’t know until you ask. Just be low-key, non-sexual and innocuous.  


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©2006 Erin Bradley and Nerve.com