Advice

Miss Information: I had kinky sex on the first date — now I’m scared to call the guy.

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Miss Information

Have a question? Email erin@nerve.com. Letters may be edited for length, content and clarity.

The dog days of summer are here, and with them shorter attention spans. Grab your undies from the freezer, turn up the AC, and enjoy this Miss Info: Twenty-Five Words or Less edition. For more summer reading, check out Miss Information's 8 Hottest Teen Movie Villains of the '80s.    

Dear Miss Information,

I fucked a guy on the first date. The sex was the kinkiest I've ever had. I don't know what got into me (no pun intended) but I was doing things I haven't done in long-term relationships with dudes I really knew and trusted. He called once a few weeks ago but I haven't called him back. I don't know if I could look him in the eye without being intoxicated and in a very dark setting. It's weird. The stupid part is, I'm actually looking for a boyfriend. Is there a chance, or should I not get my hopes up, like you've told others about their one-night hookups? He's probably calling for more sex. Debatable

Dear Debatable,

Of course he's calling for sex, but sex can lead to relationships, and booty calls keep you from committing prematurely just because you're horny. Win-win.

Dear Miss Information,

I'm a woman who has been in a relationship with another woman for nine months. She has a four-year-old daughter. She's also married but separated. I didn't care at first because I didn't think it was going to be a problem.

Time goes by, and she and her husband are still texting and talking. Friends of friends told me that she's just with me until he comes back. Whatever. People talk. But after a recent fight between us, I found an email from her to her husband saying how horrible our relationship was. I know I shouldn't have been going through her stuff, but when you feel something it's hard to stop yourself. I asked her about all this and she told me there's nothing to worry about.

I can't to seem to step back and see the bigger picture. I don't want to break up with her but I don't want to be a fool. I also found some deleted emails saying how much he loves her and his daughter and how much he needs them. What should I do? Please help. Feeling Lost

Dear Feeling Lost,

Forget online drama. How is the D-I-V-O-R-C-E going? Has she filed? No? Then back away. Whatever that momentum is, your relationship should match.

Dear Miss Information,

I met a girl at a house party. All night we talked, getting more and more drunk. You could say it was the booze talking, but I really felt something. One small problem: she kept checking her phone all night. I kidded her about it and she admitted she was waiting to hear from a guy she's into. Whatever. I'll pretend I didn't hear that. The night progressed, and she started getting more and more flirty. No kissing but she did tell me I was good-looking. We didn't say a formal goodbye. We just wandered off in opposite directions. I did some searching and found her on Facebook. Can I contact her or does that make me desperate? — College Boy

Dear College Boy, 

Facebook is free. (For now, anyway.) Send a message. This girl waited all night for a stupid text. Who is she to call anyone desperate?  

Dear Miss Information,

I have recently begun shaving my balls and cutting back the hair around my shaft. I've heard that most women prefer a trim but my female best friend says she thinks it's nasty. I like the way it feels, especially when I go commando. I have a good body, by the way. I work out three days a week and have a six-pack. Is it okay to shave? — Smooth One

Dear Smooth One,

Trim away. You're not fucking your best friend. If a girl hates it you can grow it out. Mazel tov to you and your six-pack.

Dear Miss Information,

I've been in a serious relationship with this guy whom I love very much for the past six months. Unfortunately, he is taking a job in Washington, D.C., while I will continue to work and live in Los Angeles. I tried doing a long-distance thing back when I was twenty, and I ended up cheating on my then-boyfriend with any European driving a Vespa. Obviously, that relationship didn't turn out so well. I'm scared that the same thing will happen with my new boyfriend. To make things worse, when I ask him what we are going to do, he says, "We'll play it by ear." But, he makes all sorts of references to me visiting him in the future and about how he wants to spend the next twenty years with me, blah blah, blah. I'm completely confused by what he is saying. I don't know what kind of relationship he wants. I've asked once and he sort of dodged the question. I feel stupid asking again. How can I maintain a long-distance relationship with someone on the other side of the country? Do you even think it's possible to do so, or am I being delusional? — Scared of What the Future Holds

Dear Scared of What the Future Holds,

I don't think you yourself know if you want to be exclusive. Avoiding a repeat of the past means owning and communicating that ambivalence.

P.S. I'll break the word-count rule to say that I have a completely irrational and uneducated aversion to Vespas. Are any of you repulsed by something you know is relatively harmless?