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March 27, 2011
Miss Information
I'm trying to stop being the other woman, but I can't get over the married guy I'm sleeping with.
By Cait Robinson
Have a question? Email missinfo@nerve.com. Letters may be edited for length, content, and clarity.
Dear Miss Information,
My boyfriend and I have been together for about five years. During our time together, our relationship has mostly been long-distance. We live eight hours away from each other, but we do spend the occasional weekend together. The distance has become less of a problem for us over the years. We have a very secure and trusting relationship.
As it is to be expected in any long-term relationship, the excitement has faded with time. Sex has become a little routine. The conversation, however, is still great, and we both love each other very much. I have had realistic expectations for our relationship, and I am not angry or upset that we have hit a rut. These things happen. I am just wondering what we can do to help us get back into the swing of things.
— Long-Term Lovin'
Dear Long Term Lovin',
Likely the problem here is the very small window that you guys have to be together; your interactions are bound to be more "goal oriented" than they might otherwise be. ("Great to see you! Now get those pants off, and we should be done in time for the 8:15 showing of Battle: Los Angeles.") In remedying that, you can go the "direct" route (i.e. going to burlesque shows, renting porn, going sex-toy shopping) or the more "holistic" (see below). I'm of the mind that it'll take some combination of the two. Focusing strictly on sex, while initially thrilling, will likely flame out faster. At the same time, I don't think all-day lectures at your local library will get anyone laid, either.
In general, anything that shakes up the status quo is a good idea — maybe try planning a small vacation for you both, or even surprising him on a weekend he doesn't expect to see you. When he's on your turf, work hard at making that time special. Make a reservation at that restaurant he's been talking endlessly about, find that underground skateboard shop he went to all the time as a kid, get tickets to a talk by that author you know he loves. Excitement about one thing has a way of spilling over into everything; break one part of your day out of doldrums, and the rest will follow.
Even if you're stuck doing boring clerical things during his visit, you can work with that. There's something to be said for the power of furtive glances, hardcore flirtation, and tension-building. "Running stupid errands" can turn into "building insane anticipation" if you squint right, and nothing turns a boring dinner party into a sexual pressure-cooker faster than the phrase, "I'm not wearing underwear."
So think big. Sexual electricity doesn't start and end in the bedroom. Find things that excite you both, and I think you'll find that your sex life follows suit.
Dear Miss Information,
I'm in such a deep mess, and I'm not sure how to cope. Three years ago I became friends with a man who volunteers at the non-profit where I work. We were flirtatious, but after several months of platonic dinners and correspondence, I learned through a third party that he was (or had been) married. With kids. I was confused. At that stage, I didn't know what to think or do. We were "just friends," so I reasoned he'd had no prompt to bring up his marriage. Our friendship was still pretty casual.
A couple months after that he made his move, and I confess — I went with it. I was completely taken with this man. It was naive, but I didn't think he was someone that would "do that." I was a silly girl; I know that now. Eventually, I liked him too much to even face what I was doing. I blame myself from that point.
I recently ended the relationship after two years. I did so abruptly, without asking for any explanation or answers from him. He must have panicked, as he then began to open up about his feelings for me (more directly than he ever had) and sent me reeling all over again. Though I want to believe him, my defenses question his sincerity. We've shared a lot, and I feel we are close, but reading about married men who do this fills my head with all sorts of awful thoughts about him. And myself.
In my head I know he has no intention of leaving his family, but I cannot get a grip on my heart. I can't break off all connections due to our working relationship. (Did I mention that my boss knows his wife? Quadruple mess!) I find myself one moment hating him for "playing" me and the next moment feeling sympathetic, wanting to believe his intentions were true, and that we're in this together. (Note: he assumed I knew he was married when we'd first started flirting.) I'm a smart and generally confident thirty-one-year-old gal with a lot of things going for her, but this has completely shaken my foundation.
How do I move forward? How am I to handle our professional relationship? Things haven't broken cleanly yet, and we're supposed to see each other again soon. What can I reasonably expect of him after a three-year friendship? Do his feelings matter? How can I forgive myself for letting it happen? Worst of all, why do I still want him so badly?
— Silly Girl
Dear Silly Girl,
Your chosen pen name — plus your consistent self-blame — hurts a little. Even the phrase "silly girl" gives me the icks; unless you're a cartoon rabbit who covets cereal, you're not "silly," and as a professional adult, you're leagues beyond "girl." I am sure this situation has done a number on your self-worth, but disentangle now and stabilize yourself. This relationship is a dead-end, but I think it's your self-esteem that needs the most care.
As for the guy? He has a wife. And kids. Case closed. His whole, "baby, don't leave! I have so many feelings!" is classic cheater behavior: he recognized (rightly) that he was losing you, and started grasping at straws. And his excuse of, "I assumed you knew I was married!" is putting the responsibility on you, rather than on him, the cheater. Bzzz, referee calls foul.
More than anything, though, look at how often you defend his behavior and/or undermine yourself in your letter. You've thought yourself into a corner here, and he's more than happy to help: as long as you're confused, you're not breaking things off. And if you're not breaking things off, then he still gets to see you, and that's what he wants. Point: cheater.
So he is at best a deeply confused individual, and at worst a weaselly scumbucket. But he's not the important one here.
You obviously know it needs to end — you said you already broke up with him. Now stick to your guns. Ignore his calls, texts, and emails. Be polite but distant when you see him in the halls. Above all, give him no leverage. He will likely beg, plead, and manipulate to get you back — expect it and ignore it. As long as you stay confused, he keeps the upper hand. And no, his feelings don't matter right now. He ceded the right to input once he started playing fast and loose with everyone else's feelings — his wife's, his children's, and yours.
Whether to stay with him is a pretty open-and-shut case, but rebuilding your life is where the real work is. Look to friends, family, hobbies: anything to shift your self-identification away from "silly girl" and closer to "smart and confident woman." Ultimately, toxic relationships happen to everyone, no matter how smart — but the real test of emotional intelligence and maturity is knowing how, and when, to get out.
Commentarium (68 Comments)
He was to say "what a load of crap!" just for the sake of irony, but I'll refrain
I also say not to underestimate the power of changing one's phone number to get your point across that you really mean it. Even if it's just your cell phone, even if he can still reach you at the office, you're really drawn a line in the sand.
Oh Silly Girl, you clearly love the drama of the whole thing.
mean comment
I suppose that people ought to just stfu when they feel conflicted. It seems to me that a relationship advice column invites this sort of question.
JRB, do you by any chance know what website you're on?
Don't look back Silly Girl and keep running. Find your self esteem again, you will......it may take a bit of time but you will.
Hey "silly", its really hard but you need to be extremely focused and disciplined.
Pulease - any guy who neglects to mention his wife and family in conversation over months was angling for something. Total silence on the subject between friends is just odd. Doesn't someone eventually have to say something like "I need to pick up my kid" or swap stories about being single if people are truly just friends?
So true.
Great advice for the person in the Long Distance Relationship. I am currently in an LDR and we are seperated by a continent and time zones...although not for much longer. LDR's take serious work, commitment and open communication for them to work, as with all relationships I hasten to add but the LDR even more so.
Have you tried sending him some erotic pictures of yourself, or sharing some sexy stories with him? Wearing sexy undies and sending him a picture will I am sure perk his interest.
I agree though about planning something different next time you are together....and it doesnt have to cost money either. A picnic in the park, a walk in woods, cook his favourite breakfast and one of my favourites....taking a bath together.
Mollyxxx
http://mollysdailykiss.com/
Silly Girl,
You sound like a competent, bright individual. It might be tough now, but the sooner you cut him off completely and start moving on, the better. Good luck!
LTL - "even surprising him on a weekend he doesn't expect to see you." Ah, no. Don't do that. I've been there and done that, not a good idea. Go see him on a whim by all means but call ahead before actually setting out or spending cash, do not just rock up. It's not about if he's cheating (you sound like you have a lot of trust, so I'm assuming nothing to worry about there - it was the same with me, no probs at all on that score). It's about the fact that making the long-distance arrangement work takes a certain mental approach, where you lock down that part of you that is coupled so you don't pine too much, and can get on with your local life. A sudden arrival is actually really jarring, and it can be hard to switch gears with no notice. Also, unsurprisingly, their plans that you don't know about are either altered at some inconvenience - or not. He might be discomfited by your sudden arrival, you might be offended, he then could feel guilty and resentful, etc etc. Result = everyone gets upset. Sounds romantic/inspired but actually may not be a great move. If you avoid the fowl up then that's two of us who've learned from my bad, halving the stupid quotient on me, so you'll be doing me a favour!
SG - DTMFA. You need to protect yourself and get back on your feet. Don't worry about him - he has known he's in the wrong all along. If he had any kind of reasonable justification for his behaviour he would have mentioned that little detail about wife and kids to his new good 'friend' way back. He's a knob. Case closed.
You do raise a good point. Thanks!
;-)
Hint for next time - Is he wearing a ring? If so, assume he's married, until he asserts otherwise. If no ring, then you can't be expected to know that he's married.
He knows he has you. He's not leaving his wife and family. Even if he were willing to leave his wife and family, you wouldn't be able to trust him not to someday cheat on you, too. Your way out is to stop broadcasting your feelings, your neediness, and your uncertainty, and that will make him less sure of what you'll do. The easiest way to do this is, wait for it, get another boyfriend! OK, so that's not always simple, especially when you have feelings for someone else, so if you're not up for that, just pretend like you've met somebody new who is willing to commit to you, and it's time for the cheating to end. If he persists, tell him that if he doesn't want his wife to know, that your relationship must remain professional from now on. Then don't take any further bait.
Be strong.
Silly girl, this is not going to be easy. You need to take drastic measures to get yourself firmly out of this situation - the hold on you is too strong; the drama is toxic and addictive in the worst way. Absolutely treat this breakup like a code-red crisis situation. If you can take time off from your job and go get out of town for a while, do it. If not, take up some all-consuming, crazy new hobby that takes up all your time and energy, and throw yourself into it. Get a good therapist. Change the scenery, change the routine, and build up a strong support network. Good luck.
I really see the logic in your argument but I think you've painted your strokes
Silly Girl - You have leverage. Reduce your contact with him to an absolute minimum and tell him that if he continues to pursue you that you will inform his wife of the affair. Draft the letter that you'll send and show it to him. He'll back off.
Of course he opened up to you. Any time my previous fling felt I was slipping away, it was all sweet nothings. People need to manipulate your feelings in order to generate an attachment they ultimately are aware you're conflicted over. You aren't the first, certainly not the last, but best to just cut all ties as best you can and keep that smile cold, polite and chilly.
I'm a single woman and I've had a married lover for two years now. Don't beat yourself up over it. The secret to making it work (for me) has been, I don't see him too often and I very much have my own life -- other lovers and lots of friends. I think it's most difficult for the "other woman" when she allows her married man to become her central relationship and the key focus of her attention. Otherwise it can be a lot of fun. My married lover spoils me rotten and buys me gifts. We have fantastic sex and a wonderful friendship. A woman should have more than one lover so that they balance each other out. Find yourself a new lover !!!
"My married lover spoils me rotten and buys me gifts." So in other words, you're his whore. I bet your parents would be real proud of you.
Omigod. My mom spoils me rotten and buys me gifts. Am I her whore? Cuz that's kinda icky . . .
yeah...you're his whore.
stay classy, readers. A woman has many lovers = whore. For any other reason than love = whore. I think it's time to wake up and smell 2011, where women are finally at a place they can have a fulfilling, adventurous sex life with any and all of the benefits they want, without having to wear a red mark on their clothes for it. The above reactions are reminiscent of the witch hunts in young America, and frankly, terrifying.
True. But fuckin' a married guy is pretty whorey.
Seeyc - Don't say "True" and then CALL HER A WHORE AGAIN. Jesus.
Sorry, it's pretty whorey. Bang every single person you come across to your heart's content...not whorey. Repeatedly sleep with someone you know is married and willfully inflict that harm upon their partner (and children)...well, maybe whorey's not the right word. But it's pretty evil, and definitely shouldn't be celebrated.
Y'all are missing the salient point of the money exchange. Hence, the whoring.
Why is being a whore STILL considered worse than being a john? Being a john is the most degraded a human can be, period. A "whore" does her thing to survive, what the hell motivates the sadistic bastard to trade in human beings?
Whore? Absolutely not. Totally self-absorbed and unconcerned about the consequences of her choices? Pretty much.
Having many lovers = Grown a$$ woman.
Having a lover you know is married = Whore.
Not complicated and we don't need to make pc excuses for this...wait for it...whore.
Oh and he's a whore too (just to keep things even.)
At least I can give "Silly" some credit for trying to get out...
It is interesting that serial monogamy (ie breaking hearts/homes and hurting feelings as soon as one is bored/wants to f@ck someone else) is considered noble and cheating is considered Whoreish and evil. Not sure which is worse or better myself but it is worth considering....and statistically 3/4 of you on this thread will cheat in some way in your lifetime...that being said, seems like we could ease off the judgement and the rhetoric a bit.
Uhm, okay, no. Nobody on this thread knows anything about the situation at hand, except what Blueberry said in her comment. Maybe the man's marriage needed a little spice on the side and it's all agreed on. Maybe the wife is seeing someone on the side, too. Who the hell knows. But all of you are jumping to conclusions that Blueberry is... a whore. Gift/money exchange for sex? Okay, ProfRobert, I see the technical aspect, but you can't deny the word is laden with a much heavier negative implication than just the technicality of it.
Pretty much all choices we make, ever, are selfish. YES THEY ARE. They are choices we make based on our idea of how *our* life has to be to make *us* the most satisfied with it. Yes, it is bad to be selfish to the point of hurting others - that is what learning to take responsibility is about, and that is another topic for another thread. In this situation, however, none of you know anything about the marriage of the person Blueberry is sleeping with, and yet she is almost unanimously a whore by all your quick reactions. I have to say it again: terrifying.
That a person has lover(s) is her own concern. If her lover doesn't feel responsibility towards his wife, why should she, who presumably doesn't even know the wife? She didn't make vows to this woman, the lover did. Why do people not see this, and jump straight to the 'whore' conclusions?
Admittedly it's not the ideal situation, but Blueberry and her situation sounds far less threatening to the family unit of her lover than women who are with married men in the hope they leave their wife and/or family for them.
Thanks for the advice, Miss Info. I appreciate it.
Blueberry,
What this world needs is another "me, myself and I" individual who's selfish and superficial to the core. Kudos to you! Keep your head held high and your legs spread, and be sure to wear that "high self-esteem" of yours like a new bauble from your married lover.
Why do people immediate label people as "whore", sluts etc just because you are involved with a married men? I think as all relationship and the matters of the heart, its unfair to label someone without really knowing what really goes on between 2 people.
I am involved with a married man, when I met him I didnt know he was married. We have been together for 3 years. Unlike Blueberry, I dont expect him to buy me presents. However, I do realize our relationship will not move beyond what it is. We love each other and support each other in our careers.
Most of all, we are happy as individuals. At the end of the day, isnt that the most important thing? To be happy?
And if your happiness comes at the expense of someone else? You say we shouldn't judge what goes on between 2 people, but there are more than 2 people involved. There is a spouse and potentially kids who could be hurt by your tryst.
How happy will his wife be if she founds out?
@Jamie: I used the word "whore" regarding Blueberry in the technical sense: She gets "spoiled" with his "gifts," and it's so important to her that she felt the need to incude those facts in her justification of her behavior. So he gets sex, and she gets "gifts." That's pretty much the black-letter definition of "whore." I would not characterize you, Jamie, as a whore because you don't appear to be in it for the material benefis. But don't pat yourself on the back too much. You're aiding and abetting adultery, and you're interfering in another woman's marriage (presumably his wife has done you no wrong). You're not a whore, but you are a bad person. I have no problem with anyone doing anything they wayt with as many consenting, unattached adults as they want. I have a problem with people who insinuate themselves into other people's relationships for their own selfish gratification.
"At the end of the day, isnt that the most important thing? To be happy?" And there, in one throw-away statement, is the problem with most people.
"At the end of the day, isnt that the most important thing? To be happy?" Sure, but at the expense of his wife's, and maybe children's, happiness? That seems a little selfish.
No person is the moderator of two other people's marriage.
If a man is in a closed marriage, where his wife is unaware of his affair, he is the ONLY one potentially inflicting harm. If you become involved with a married man, you may think about the social implications of your relationship when deciding how far/ how long to let it continue. But you are not breaking any bonds you have made, you are not to lying to a person you love, and you are not responsible for the acts of another person.
You are not hurting his wife or his children. He is.
This is not a note to 'silly girl', but rather a general note to the demonisation of women involved in affairs with married men that seems to have sprung up here. To the same people, I would further point out that marriages are not monolithic entities - and maybe we can hold back on hard-core judgements without considering open relationships, polyamory, or other communicative and consensual engagement in extra-marrital sex and relationships.
A final note. Accepting gifts in the context of a relationship does not, to me, sound like prostitution. But this is SO beside the point! When did sex-worker bashing and conservative moralism get cool around here??
I can only speak for myself. As for myself, I never interfere in his family life. I've never asked him to not be with his family, esp during holidays or vacation or days I know his kids need him. If he needs to go to a school function on my birthday, I never expect him to be there.
His marriage with his wife is pretty much over. They are only together for their kids and leading separate lives.
I am not a bad person and I never "pat" myself on the back that I am with a married man. However, I am just pointing out there are exceptions out there.
enn, speak for yourself. Knowingly screwing around with another person's spouse damages that person, even if you're single. Washing your hands of it doesn't remove the moral responsibility.
That applies to both husbands and wives. A guy who screws around with another man's wife is just as slimy as a woman who screws around with another woman's husband.
Isn't it nice to be able to divide the world into black and white, Michael. Must make everything so wonderfully easy to sort out.
Actually, on this one it is pretty black and white. Don't fuck other people's spouses (unless, to satisfy the polyamorists, you have that spouse's full, knowing in-person consent).
SG, you can't change him. He's a bad person that walks, talks, and apparently fucks like a good man. I'm sure it is very convincing. At the end of the day, he values his happiness over the happiness of his wife and children. Everyone in his life will forever lose if he is able to always balance the happiness equation in his own favor.
You can, however, change you. It's not just about getting over him. It's about distancing yourself from being the kind of woman (you're a woman. You're not a girl.) who carries on an affair for three years with a married man. Nobody can call you a whore, but you're obviously thinking it about yourself and it is poisonous. At 31, you have plenty of time to establish that you will not be a mistress. From my experience with the few friends / acquaintances who sleep with married or involved people, they are always the "mistress / mister(?)" and never the person who you spend major holidays with. Whoever this guy is, he isn't worth it. As you reach out to him, picture a cancer patient reaching for cigarettes. It isn't healthy and everyone is eventually going to lose all sympathy and think you're a fucking idiot.
Stay strong. Ask yourself whether sporadic trysts with him are worth sacrificing a shared home, honesty, and an open relationship with someone who is proud to let everyone know that he loves you.
LTL - I hope there is an end in sight! That sounds tough. The next time you visit, get all hot and bothered right before you see him so when you pounce, he's all "WHOA! Wetness!" (or hardness, you didn't specify gender), and you're all "that's right, guess what I've been thinking of during my commute!" Sexy antics ensue.
PS: SG, Good guys at heart who act and fuck like bad boys are so, so much more fun. Tell that prick to fuck off and go find Mr. Darcy.
+1
For LTL, it seems like MI is skirting around the bigger issue: a 5-year relationship that's been mostly long distance. I've always been of the opinion that long distance relationships can only work if it's a relatively short period of time (6 months or so, maybe a year), and there's a set end date. The day-to-day stuff, the menial stuff, is very important to a relationship. That's the foundation. All the other stuff we're talking about (trips, special nights out, etc.) is the frosting. If the latter is all you're really doing, then you're pretty much just out-of-town fuck buddies...not that there's anything wrong with that. But face up to it and call it what it is. Then at least you can open up the "relationship" to others; or one of you can move if you're both serious about it. But right now it sounds like you have the worst of both worlds: the monogamy and "ruttiness" of a long term relationship, without the day-to-day companionship and security of a long term relationship. Kind of sounds like torture to me.
Amen.
There is an end in sight, actually. We've dated through the end of high school and university, and we've decided that we'll move in together after we're done school.
I guess best of luck to you then. The fact that there's an end in sight is good. Obviously we couldn't tell that from the article. But I'd still be a little concerned. I sort of assumed you were in your 30's, and I swear I'm not trying to be insulting. But from the tone of the article, you have the voice of someone resigned to a mediocre situation, like someone much older than a young woman in college. Frankly, I was a little shocked by your age. When you're early 20's you shouldn't be looking for ways to spice up a 5 year old relationship.
C'est la vie.
I am high-fiving you so hard over here, dave1976. I've done my share of LDRs and I won't again; largely because I finally realised just how much of the good in a relationship comes from the day-to-day time we spend together.
Regardless of what we hear on TV, it isn't really all that normal to have a 'rut' happen this way. Relationships may struggle at times, sure, but overall? They should be jolly. I can't even imagine a rut happening for kids at college who are still so young and bouncy--I know it isn't likely to be advice that you take, but from someone who had all the serious relationships at that age, you might want to take a step back to think about what you get out of this relationship that is better than you could have if you went exploring a bit to see if there isn't a man out there who keeps you excited even five years later.
I know it isn't rocket science, but I wouldn't know where to begin if it came to exploring.
Also, how do you say "I'm bored of our relationship" to somebody that you've been with for five years?
You suck it up and do it, nicely, kindly, and respectfully (and not in an email or text, and most preferably in person). Maybe you'll break up, maybe you'll fix things. But it's light years better to do it now, before you're cosigning a lease, or even worse, married with kids. My inkling, and like others have said, is that you should take a long break from the relationship (maybe a permanent one). Enjoy your youth, don't live to regret it. Sticking around will ultimately be far crueler to your bf and yourself, when, inevitably, one of you will cheat or leave after you've racked up life's big anchors (marriage, kids, jobs, mortgages, etc.). Best of luck to you.
And Jess, thanks for the high five!
Show me an economy that doesn't require 4-12 years post-secondary education, and I'll show you a couple that doesn't have to endure any extended periods of long-distance relating. dave1976, your outlook on LDRs is not helpful to young people who know they must usually sacrifice either proximity to a beloved or career opportunity.
I find it frustrating that its most often the woman in these LDR trying to keep things going. I'm in one right now and adore my guy, but I get tired at always being the one that's researching, talking, trying to find some way to keep things connected and refreshing and growing. He seems so complacent.
I understand completely.
LTL - go exploring! I can't believe you are so young. You sound self-assured and intelligent, and I am sure you would have no trouble finding some new interests. You have a good decade before you need to settle into spark-less relationship (or at least, a little mundane living). Go chase some butterfly stomached, "holyshitheiscallingrightnow, last night was the best night of my life, I've never been touched THERE, this is the cutest boy I've ever met in my life" days. They grow old after awhile but they are so fun when they are all new and fresh. If you can't live without each other, pick back up in a few years.
I think the issue here for Silly Girl is one of responsiblity. I am not going to argue the moral rights or wrongs of people choosing their own happiness over someone else's, but the point is that you WILL pay a price for that and few people seem willing to do so. So the cheating husband is unhappy and wants to continue with his woman on the side, that is the classic method of being irresponsible. He wants everything, his own happiness, and his family carrying on the same, AND the girlfriend too. But he doesnt want to risk his own perfect world by being honest about it or paying whatever price comes from the other parties to continue it. He should own the fact that he is unhappy and do something about it, make some changes. Get divorced, or tell his spouse that he just wants to parent together and live without a relationship. Instead he is a thief, stealing her choices and trying to waylay his lovers choices too. When you hide things and lie you make it all about YOUR happiness and steal that from others.
Really, kudos to MissInfo on her response to SG. Having been the "other woman" myself, though not with a married man, it was not about his feelings for me, or even his desire for me. It was *his* need to be wanted, to feel like I relied on him. (minorly it was getting off on lying and getting away with it, and with having two women.) I think about it this way: if this guy really cared about SG, he would respect her decision that the relationship was not what she wanted anymore, and he'd let her go.
In my case, I actually left town for about 6 months, severed contact, got myself out of his sphere of influence. When I came back, we met for coffee, he begged me to take him back ("she doesn't understand me the way you do","you turn me on in ways she can't" blah blah blah), and I wasn't even tempted anymore. SG, you deserve someone who respects your feelings, your needs, and isn't just bolstering his own ego. You deserve so much better.
(And really, his being married isn't really the point. His being dishonest, manipulative and self-centered is. SG deserves better.)
I should have added, since SG can't really leave town, make sure you have a friend, a touchstone, who can be a cheerleader for you on days when you're feeling down. That way if you see each other at work, and it gets to you, you have someone to go to, who will tell you, "YOU DESERVE BETTER!"
Best way to think of this: Do you really want this baggage? An ex wife and kids can be a real burden. Pursue a relationship with this guy and you can be pretty positive that eventually YOU will be the one at home waiting while he's with his latest new conquest. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Is that what you want for yourself?
I really liked the article, and the very cool blog
people and that them spoke. When also Being and.