Dear Miss Information,

I'd been dating this girl for almost two months. We met online and hit it off right away. She introduced me to her mom and sister after a couple weeks. We went out often with both of our friends, took in a Metallica concert and went to an NBA game. She came to my company Christmas party. We talked to each other several times a day, and last week she invited me to dinner with her son and mom. Then I didn't hear from her for two days. Got a text on the third day telling me she wasn't sure how to tell me this, but she didn't think we could be anything more than friends, that the chemistry wasn't there for her. She also told me I was the perfect guy, that I was very handsome and noted that I respected her. I'm confused: I really like this girl, and even though we'd only been together for two months, I saw things going somewhere. Why the sudden change? — Very Confused

Dear Very Confused,

It's 2009 and you're still listening to Metallica. Does there need to be any other reason? Wait, she went with you. Okay, never mind. I'll let that slide. Plus Master of Puppets was pretty bitchin'.

Two to three months is a popular drop-off point for daters, as are the holidays and the dawn of a new year. In this instance, we've got a double-hitter. We also have a meeting-of-the-relatives, i.e. a Relationship Milestone (RM). RMs are usually good, an indication that the other person wants to take it to the next level by introducing a new stage of personal, sexual or social intimacy. An example might be an invitation to spend the night, when couch-groping and going home had been the norm.

But occasionally, RMs are used as a last-ditch attempt to determine if you actually have feelings for the other party. The idea is that by investing yourself more fully and not going at it half-assed, you'll come to a conclusion. This rarely works, as was the case with me and a super gentleman several years ago. For months I waffled about my feelings for him, until I came to the conclusion that I had to sleep with him. So I did. Know what changed? Jack shit. I was still uncertain, only I'd made it harder on myself (and more importantly, him) because I now had to explain the nonsensical nature of my actions: "Hey there, let's get serious. Ha ha! Just kidding!"

Perhaps a similar chain of events took place with your ladyfriend. Or maybe something altogether different. If it's really what she says — chemistry — then it can't be quantified. She says you're handsome and perfect and you need to trust her on that. You being handsome and perfect and her not liking you are not mutually exclusive. I have said this to a lot of guys, and actually meant it. You need to find somebody who likes your particular brand of handsome and perfect, i.e., chemistry. Ideally, she'll also not be the type to dump you via text message. Yeesh.