Advice

Please Advise: My husband’s getting too old for his rock ‘n roll fantasy.

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Nerve readers hold forth on whether to crush your partner's dreams of stardom.

by Nerve Readers

Each week, the inbox of our venerable advice columnist, Miss Information, is flooded with queries. And although she makes a valiant effort, she cannot answer them all. To deal with the surplus, we've decided to turn to you. So, don your spectacles and help this woman out. You can give her advice in the comments below, or, if you'd like to share what you wrote with your friends, on our Facebook page.

 

Dear Nerve,

My husband of five years is a wonderful, sweet, caring man. He’s thirty-eight and I’m thirty-six. When we met, he was a slightly older-than-average guitarist in a band, and I was a rising star at a PR firm who loved his band and thought he was sexy. Three bands later, he’s now a way-older-than-average guitarist in a band, I’m making three times at my firm what he makes at Guitar Center, and it’s starting to strain our relationship.

I love him deeply, and want him to be happy, but realistically, his chance at “stardom” is fading — he’s had several bands “nearly make it” but fall apart for the same classic reasons. I would never ask him to stop playing music: his passion and talent are still sexy after all these years. But I need him to try and find something that’s going to be a little more stable and a little more… well, “normal,” especially since we’re both getting away from ideal children-having age. (We both want to be parents). How can I broach this topic without being the shrill, demanding wife?

— I’m With the Band