Advice

Please Advise: I haven’t slept with my wife in three years.

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There are dry spells, and then there are small deserts. 

Each week, the inbox of our venerable advice columnist, Miss Information, is flooded with queries. And although she makes a valiant effort, she can't answer them all. To deal with the surplus, we've decided to turn to you. So, don your spectacles and help this gentleman out give him advice in the comments below.

Dear Nerve,

My wife and I have been married almost twenty-seven years, and we're compatible in nearly every way, except that over the last two to three years, she's had no libido. This has stemmed from various medical issues, and that's why I'm still here and haven't cheated in almost three years. But everyone has their limits.

I'd been strongly considering a FWB type situation or some other NSA arrangement, and so, about nine months ago, she and I sat down and I told her what was going on. I wasn't trying to be hurtful, but I thought it best to explain myself. She asked that we go to counseling. I agreed, and the counselor asked me to put my plans on hold until we had the opportunity to discuss the situation further, a condition to which I also agreed.

Three months into counseling, we had discussed everything except the issue that got us both there. I told them both that if we continued to dance around the issue, I wouldn't be coming again. We didn't, and, to make a long story short, we both just stopped going.

It's now been six months, and everything's still the same. I've tried talking to my wife time and time again, but she literally leaves the room when I bring up the topic, and therapy was a dead end. What else can I do? At this point, I've honestly tried — would I be such a bad person for giving up and trying to find a NSA situation? Where would I look? What should I do?

 Frustrated in So Cal