Not a member? Sign up now
Please Advise: How can I keep my wife from coming to my high-school reunion?
It's not about not wanting her there, it's about not wanting her to see me there.
by Nerve Readers
Each week, the inbox of our venerable advice columnist, Miss Information, is flooded with queries. And although she makes a valiant effort, she can't answer them all. To deal with the surplus, we've decided to turn to you. So, don your spectacles and help this gentleman out — give him advice in the comments below. If you have a question that you'd like to turn over to the Nerve Commentariat, send it on over to firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject line "Please Advise."
My wife and I have been happily married for two years now. We have disagreements, of course, but overall, everything's great — our sex life is thriving, and we're just happy being young and in love.
Speaking of being young and in love, my ten-year high-school reunion is coming up, and under no circumstances do I want my wife to attend it with me. A lot of my anxiety has to do with the fact that we met in college, so not only will she not know anybody, but she'll be subjected to a high volume of inside jokes, and the night will just be one endless stream of introductions and her playing catch-up.
She says she's fine with this, but there's a larger issue at play: I'm not sure if I want her around people I knew during high school. I was a bit of a mess in high school — I slept around, I was a pretty big social outcast but for a small group of friends, and a lot of people knew me as a self-abuser. I never wanted anything more from high school than to leave, and so I really came out of my shell at college, where I met my girlfriend. She knows a little bit about my teenage years, but not that much, and I'm not sure I want her to be around the people that do.
I'm not really even sure why I'm going to this — there's a few people I'd like to see, but I can catch up with them any time. I think a lot of this has to do with wanting to prove to my former classmates that I've turned myself around, but I still want to keep those two halves of my life separate. How I can convince my wife that this isn't an issue of trying to keep something from her, or being "ashamed" of her? Is this normal? How many of you went to your reunions solo?
— Romy and... Romy's High School Reunion
What say you, gentle Nerve readers? Help this guy out in the comments below.
And if you'd like to meet someone you do want attend your high-school reunion with, meet them on Nerve.