Please Advise: How did his feelings for me disappear so quickly?

Pin it

A Nerve reader falls in love at the exact wrong moment. Help her out.  


Wise readers,  

Each week, the inbox of our venerable advice columnist, Miss Information, is flooded with queries. And although she makes a valiant effort, she cannot answer them all. To deal with the surplus, we've decided to turn to you. So, don your spectacles and help this woman out. You can give her advice in the comments below, or, if you'd like to share what you wrote with your friends, on our Facebook page


Dear Nerve,

Okay, I'll start at the beginning: there was a guy I knew had feelings for me. We were just friends, but he made clear that he wanted to be more than that. We went out on a few dates, and slept together, but it just didn't feel right, so I broke it off. We continued to be friends.

A few years passed. We've seen each other go through different relationships and stayed friends, but recently, something changed. I know it's cliche, but seeing him with other girls made me realize how great he really is. I've never done anything to get in the way of his previous relationships, but all of a sudden, I found myself secretly pleased when he inevitably broke up with his "girlfriend of the month." What's more, I knew he still carried a torch for me — he said so constantly, and often wistfully remarked on what a great couple we would be.

After my latest falling out with another guy, he asked me out again. It was different this time. We started up a relationship — it felt so right. I fell for him, and I fell hard. I mean, I was planning the wedding in my head. Then out of nowhere, he broke it off with me, saying that my first instincts had been right all along — we aren't meant to be.

I'm heartbroken. I want to be with him. Is it possible he's just doing this as retaliation for when I broke it off years ago? I can't understand how his feelings for me could have ended so suddenly. I want to call him and convince him he made a mistake, but I know that's probably crazy. What should I do?

— Second Chance Heartburn

Help her out in the comments below. Got a question of your own? Email