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Please Advise: Should I cheat on my husband with my long-lost love before he leaves the country?
Will this get me over him or stoke the flames higher?
Each week, the inbox of our venerable advice columnist, Miss Information, is flooded with queries. And although she makes a valiant effort, she can't answer them all. To deal with the surplus, we've decided to turn to you. So, don your spectacles and help this woman out — give her advice in the comments below.
I've been married for four years now, and though I've been tempted by various things (younger coworkers, cute bartenders), I've never strayed from my husband. I love him very much, and our marriage is very strong, outside of the usual marital bickering.
Recently, though, I've been having some very intimate conversations with someone best described as my unconsummated high-school love. For various reasons, we never got together in high school, but have carried a torch for each other for years. We kept in touch through college, and though we moved to different cities, have occasionally met up for drinks whenever we've been in our hometown. Though our whole relationship has been fraught with a lot of sexual tension, it's been chaste so far.
However, he recently told me that he's accepted a job overseas, and has no intention of returning — the company has dozens of foreign offices, and he said he's interested in bouncing around to as many countries as possible. Aside from the odd holiday, he's intimated that it could be years before he returns to the U.S.
And that's why he suggested we sleep together.
I pretended to be taken aback, but I'm honestly considering it. The temptation of a weekend together, fulfilling some incredibly old desires, is a strong one, certainly, and it would certainly demystify our relationship, and possibly give me some closure. On the other hand, I'm already rationalizing this. How much of a stretch would another affair be, and then another?
I want to put this man out of my mind, but it's like a brass ring out of reach for years has just dropped into my hands. I hate that I'm rationalizing this, and I hate that not doing this could just bother me for years. I could use opinions, arguments, or advice from both sides. Help?
— He's Leavin' On a Jet Plane
If you have a romantic query that you think the Nerve Commentariat could help you solve, send it to firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject line "Please Advise."