Please Advise: Why do I feel bad about sleeping with two guys around the same time?

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A Nerve reader questions her supposed promiscuity.

Wise readers,  

Each week, the inbox of our venerable advice columnist, Miss Information, is flooded with queries. And although she makes a valiant effort, she cannot answer them all. To deal with the surplus, we've decided to turn to you. So, don your spectacles and help this girl out. You can give her advice in the comments below, or, if you'd like to share what you wrote with your friends, on our Facebook page.


Dear Nerve,

I'm stuck somewhere in the weird, confusing gray area between an old relationship and a potential new one. My former partner and I still spend a lot of time together and occasionally sleep together, but we've both decided we can't be together officially right now, even though the sex is still great.

The new guy I'm seeing made it clear from the beginning that he wasn't interested in becoming serious, which I'm okay with since I just got out of a relationship. I don't exactly feel the need to choose between them, since neither is trying to make a commitment to me, but I'm also not completely honest with each of them about the existence of the other.

So, when the two relationships get close to overlapping, I end up feeling guilty and a bit dirty. By overlapping, I mean that, on occasion, it just works out that I end up sleeping with both guys in one twenty-four-hour period. Frankly, physically, I kind of feel like a slut, but otherwise — emotionally, rationally — I don't think I should! Am I feeling bad because of some ridiculous double-standard stigma that society has ingrained in us to keep women's promiscuity in check? Should I feel awesome or awful?

Feeling Like A Floozy

Help her out! If you've got questions of your own, email them to