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Please Advise: Is my permanently long distance relationship doomed to fail?
He's in Iceland. I'm in America. And that's not changing anytime soon.
Each week, the inbox of our venerable advice columnist, Miss Information, is flooded with queries. And although she makes a valiant effort, she can't answer them all. To deal with the surplus, we've decided to turn to you. So, don your spectacles and help this woman out — give her advice in the comments below.
I met my current boyfriend at a mutual friend's party last fall. I saw this tall, incredibly handsome blond man from across the room and was instantly attracted to him. He came over to me, we flirted. Despite having practically no accent, he told me he was from Iceland. I automatically pushed him over into the one-night-stand category, I won't lie. He came over that night. I had expected some radical, hot sex, but instead was pleasantly met with both sex and some of the most intriguing, deep conversation a one-night-sand had ever offered up. He was leaving for home the next day, so I thought nothing of it. "This is just a really fun night," I kept repeating in my head. The next day, of course, was the beginning of Hurricane Sandy and all flights were grounded. My new friend, having nowhere to stay and being such an easy, fun companion, was welcomed by me and my roommates as a house guest. Bowls of chili, cups of hot cocoa, and a few movie marathons later, what was initially a one-night-stand became two-week-long whirlwind romance.
We decided to stay in touch when he left—I couldn't not stay in touch. That was ten months ago, and I have made a trip to his hometown and he to mine, exchanging weeks at a time. We have amazing hot Skype sex and try to text or call almost every day. I have no doubt in my mind that he's faithful to me. When I was in Iceland, I met his parents. My parents just went over to Iceland themselves, as they were already on vacation, and met with his parents. To outsiders, this may seem sudden and extreme and fool-hearted, but to me, this is me finally embracing love no matter how complicated or insane it sounds. I've had dud relationships with men that don't match me intellectually, with men without motivation. My boyfriend is going to be a doctor and writes me love poetry. He shares my corny sense of humor and likes to listen to me sing. I'm incredibly happy, and sometimes, incredibly lonely. I've realized that the best case scenario is that one of us moves to a foreign country for the rest of our lives. I'm not sure either of us wants to. Am I that crazy? Is there any way to make this work in the long term?
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