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Money (That's What She Wants)
Did your sweaty lips and testosterone-richsalivia not do the trick? Have your yogurty balls failed to bring all the girls to the yard? What else can you do to impress the ladies? Buy them really expensive things. (Or, you could keep trying the sweaty approach and then buy me things. I'd like that.) In either case, here are a bunch of things MHM thinks you should do.
19. Hire a private violinist to follow you and your woman around on the street.
You get bonus points for reeking of desperation!
20."Take a home pregnancy test."
That last one isn’t odd at all. Impregnation is really expensive, and it totally fits on a list called "fun things to do with a woman."
Don’t think any of these are opulent or sexy enough? Why not literally fuck some jewelry?
21. Take a pearl necklace and “…lightly lubricate the pearls and your penis. Have your partner wrap the pearls around the shaft and slowly stroke up and down with a gentle rotation.”
Just don’t tell Mother. She’s still cross about the time she caught you rimming the good china.
On a related note, seventy-three percent of women surveyed would enjoy being lightly spanked with a wad of hundred-dollar bills.