Advice

Dating Advice from . . . Dating Coaches

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Sex advice...

Patti Feinstein, 44

www.pattifeinstein.com

What are your thoughts about sex on the first date?
Let chemistry be your guide. All of the manuals will say, "He’ll think you’re easy." Maybe you are. But there is such a thing as a woman looking for sex, and sometimes it’s those situations — the unexpected ones — that do, in fact, become relationships.

Should you trust first impressions of a person, or delay judgment?
Wait. You never really know a person until you actually live with them day to day.

What’s the best way to ask someone about their sexual history?
When you’re in bed with them and you don’t want to give them a physical examination, take a quick look for open sores and then just ask. Make sure he’s not over-the-top turned on when you do, though — men lie when they want to get laid. So do women.

I’ve been seeing this guy online for a while. We want to have cybersex. Any tips for an enjoyable first time?
Read some erotica to learn verbs that turn men on. Not dirty words but descriptive words, like, "My red nails are softly running over my tight abdominals."

How can I be honest without being off-putting when I’m posting an online personal ad?
Honesty is always the best policy unless you’re saying that you just had your eggs frozen and you’re looking for a donor — some things are better left unsaid.

I’ve been dating two guys at the same time. Neither knows about the other. Is this ethical?
Juggling is hard to do. That’s why it’s for circus performers, not for daters.

Jester, 24

www.miamidatingcoach.com

What should you do if your date refuses to let you pay for the bill?
Avoid this situation altogether and go on dates where you don’t have to spend money. You shouldn’t pay for a woman to impress her and win her over.

I can’t ever seem to get past a first date. What might I be doing wrong?
Don’t act needy, don’t interview her, don’t supplicate and don’t talk about your emotional problems.

How can I use body language to seduce my date?
As a man, you need to lean back. Most men are too eager to please their date. They lean in and act overly interested. This communicates desperation. As a woman, your body should move slowly. A lot of women move around, all jerky like nervous poodles. Your body language should be open, smooth and flowing.

What’s the best way to ask someone about their sexual history?
Don’t. People almost always lie when you ask them this question anyway. Just trust your intuition.

I’m ready to share my kinky sexual habits with my new partner, but I’m scared she’ll be freaked out. Any advice?
You would be surprised at how much kinkier your woman is than you are. The best way to introduce any new kind of kinky sexual habits is to masturbate her. When she gets highly aroused, you can say any nasty thing you want to her, as long as you say it with complete confidence.

I’ve been seeing this guy online for a while. We want to have cybersex. Any tips for an enjoyable first time?
The trick is to write sensual. Involve all the senses and describe everything in rich detail. Men enjoy when you describe sight. Women enjoy emotions and sensations.

David Wygant, 44

www.davidwygant.com

Dinner and a movie is so overdone. What are some creative dating ideas?
Take them to Target and play in the aisles with all the toys. Play one-on-one basketball. Bake a cake together.

Should you trust first impressions of a person, or delay judgment?
You need to gather information about someone before you make a final decision on how you feel. People who tend to judge someone quickly often lead very shallow lives.

Why can’t I ever get past a first date?
People who crash and burn after one date tend to do these common things: Talk about and bash their exes, have desperate energy, talk about themselves too much, brag or drink too much.

My friend just broke up with his girlfriend, and I’m attracted to her. When is it appropriate for me to make a move?
You need to let the dust settle. Be a great friend first, and as soon as your friend has recovered, she’s fair game. People are not lifetime possessions.

I’m ready to share my kinky sexual habits with my new partner, but I’m worried she’ll be freaked out. Any advice?
If you get involved with someone who you’re not sexually compatible with, you’ll just end up leading an alternative deviant life on the side. Bring your kinkiness in slowly. Who knows? She may be kinkier than you.

I’ve been seeing this guy online for a while. We want to have cybersex. Any tips for an enjoyable first time?
Get each other super-hot with dirty emails describing what you want to do. Each email should go one step further, so you’re driving him crazy and making him hit the send/receive button like a mad man anticipating your next email. Once you can’t take it anymore, bring the action to the phone so you can hear how hot you made each other.

Katherin Scott, 50

www.KatherinScott.com

What are your thoughts about sex on the first date?
If you know for sure they are not "the one" and you’re feeling horny, then go for it. But don’t expect this to blossom into a meaningful relationship.

I’ve been dating two guys at the same time. Neither of them knows about the other. Is this ethical?
Until you have the conscious conversation about being exclusive, there is no need to be. Just don’t call him Chuck when his name is Marty.

I just moved to a new city. How do I break into the dating scene?
Speed dating.

What’s the best way to ask someone about their sexual history?
With your clothes on. And be specific.

What are some "don’ts" when it comes to setting up a seduction scene?
Don’t be a copycat. Set the scene to showcase the two of you, not what you’ve seen on TV.