Advice

Dating Advice from . . . Former Frat Boys

Pin it
 REGULARS
Dating advice...

  Send to a Friend
  Printer Friendly Format
  Leave Feedback
  Read Feedback
  Nerve RSS

Jay, 23

What has being a frat boy taught you about sex?
I’ve definitely learned a few tricks over the years. When you’re in a frat, you hear a lot of hookup stories, and everyone is always trying to top the best story. It gives you a lot of ideas for how to get creative.

I have a particular fetish. It’s nothing insane, but it’s a little freaky. How can I first introduce it to the person I’m dating without startling them?
In my dream world, every relationship would have a designated freaky-sex night, and on that night, any fetish would be fair game. Give that a try.

Is it misleading to invite a guy up to my apartment for a goodnight drink after a date if I have no intention of fooling around with him?
You’re only setting him up to look like a fool. He’s going to think that’s an invite to try something with you, and after you have to reject him and make him feel like an idiot for putting himself out there, he’ll feel too awkward to ever call you again.

How many dates you should wait before having sex with someone if you think you want a serious relationship?
Depends what type of sex. A b.j. is acceptable on the second date.

I’ve been dating this guy for about a month. We see each other a few times a week and seem to really like each other, but we’ve never talked about being exclusive. Is it okay to hookup with someone else while I’m away on a beach holiday?
Personally, I would. It’s only been a month. I’ve only heard of two people in my life who have experienced love at first sight. Love grows, and obviously you haven’t had time for that yet, so go out, have fun and keep your mouth shut.

Greg, 23

I always harbored a frat-boy fantasy, but I was an English nerd in college. How can I land one now and live the old dream?
Everyone stands a chance. Pouring beer down your chest wouldn’t hurt.

I’m a woman with a peopled past. I’ve been tested and know I’m disease free. Is it okay to lie about my number?
Depends on the person. If it’s just a random hookup, it’s really a white lie that won’t hurt anyone; continue to use protection and get tested. If they may become more than that, honesty is the best policy. Trust me — people will always find out your bedroom secrets one way or another.

I know my relationship with my fuck buddy is never going to run deeper then a few fun nights a month. Is it acceptable to go after his best friend for something more serious?
Sure it is. I hate this policy that if you hook up randomly with someone, all of the people in their Blackberry are suddenly forbidden. Just tell the guy you’re currently fucking that you want to pursue his friend, and go for the chemistry. No one is really off limits, except for married people and cousins.

promotion

I’ve been dating this guy for about a month. We see each other a few times a week and seem to really like each other, but we’ve never talked about being exclusive. Is it okay to hook up with someone else while I’m away on a beach holiday?
It’s fine. A month is extremely early in a relationship, and no real commitment could have possibly been established yet. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

How many dates you should wait before having sex with someone if you think you want a serious relationship?
In college I used think that rule was stupid. Now I would put it somewhere around three or four dates, depending on how things go. Although if you are a dynamo in the sack, trust me, it doesn’t matter when you do it. He’ll respect you.


Tim, 23

I have a particular fetish. It’s nothing insane, but it’s a little freaky. How can I first introduce it to the person I’m dating without startling them?
Just be straightforward and ask. The trick is finding the right moment — if you ask after sex a guy might think that his performance wasn’t good enough. Try a casual setting.

My new girlfriend is perfect for me in every way, except that she smokes pot every weekend and I don’t. It creates a rift because it leads to her spending more time with other people who smoke and not inviting me because she knows it makes me uncomfortable. How should I handle this situation?
Make your concerns heard. Tell her how it makes you feel when she hangs out with her pot buddies. She might feel the same way about something that you do that she doesn’t like or enjoy. Suggest that she cuts back, or doesn’t meet up with her pot buddies as frequently. Suggest something you two can do together on the weekends. Or maybe just take a puff, you might like it.

I always harbored a frat-boy fantasy, but I was an English nerd in college. How can I live the old dream?
You just have to be able to spot us. We’re still heavy drinkers and a bit rowdy.

I’ve been dating this guy for about a month. We see each other a few times a week and seem to really like each other, but we’ve never talked about being exclusive. Is it okay to hook up with someone else while I’m away on a beach holiday?
It’s never okay to assume. You’ll never know how he’ll react. If you do hook up and come back, and he wants to be exclusive and he finds out, you’re fucked. I would’ve tried to have the conversation before you left. If that’s not possible, kissing might be okay, but never sleep with them.

I want to watch my girlfriend have sex with another guy, and she’s all for it. How do we find a candidate without resorting to trawling creepy websites like Craigslist?
You can be pretty sure most guys are up for this — your main concern is finding someone who can perform while being watched. Try running it by friends and acquaintances.


Roger, 25

Is it misleading to invite a guy up to my apartment for a goodnight drink after a date if I have no intention of fooling around with him?
Not only is it misleading, it’s actually quite evil. The guy clearly thinks he’s going to get some if you’re inviting him up, so avoid what would most likely be an awkward situation and send him home.

I’m a woman with a peopled past. Is it okay to lie about my number?
Please lie.

What did being a frat boy teach you about dating?
I still use the power of alcohol to up my chances, but these days it helps if I actually wear clean clothes and throw in a little intellectual conversation.

What has being a frat boy taught you about sex?
No two women are alike, so never develop a routine.
 

Interviews by Alexandra Godfrey. Dating Advice From… appears on Thursdays. Have questions for the general public? Send them to sexadvicefrom@nerve.com.

Previous Dating Advice


RELATED ARTICLES
Dating Advice From Volvo Owners by Will Doig
Dating Advice From The Corduroy Club by Steph Auteri
Dating Advice From Marketers by Simona Kogan
Dating Advice From Zamboni Drivers by Anna Davies
Dating Advice From The Holiday Market by David Callicott
Dating Advice From Knife-Throwers by Chantal O’Keeffe

©2008 Alexandra Godfrey & Nerve.com, Inc.