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Sex Advice From . . . Aspiring Chippendales

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For this week’s column, Nerve infiltrated the New York City studio where Chippendales conducted its official auditions. Our goal: to get sex advice from men planning to be in the business of pleasing women.

Sean, 23


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What are the do’s and don’ts of stripping as foreplay?
Don’t think too much. Just relax and let your body go any way it wants.

What’s a common mistake people make when trying to dance seductively (see Elaine’s "full-body dry heave" from Seinfeld)?
If it looks like they’re trying, if they’re in their head instead of getting in touch with their body, then it’s not sexy.

Pubic grooming: what length/formation is best?
I definitely agree with keeping that area clean and trimmed as much as possible. On women, if I had to choose, I would say all the way. But if not, definitely keep it neat.

What’s a good technique to delay ejaculation?
Really deep breaths.

What does every man and woman want in bed?
Every woman just wants to be the complete focus of what’s going on, and not just an object that’s doing a service. And I kind of think guys want the same thing.

In your experience, what’s the most common mistake men/women make during sex?
Planning things out. Spontaneity is so much more appealing.

My boyfriend is really self-conscious about his body. Do you have any tips for how I can make him feel better about it in the bedroom?
Tell him how much you love how his body feels against yours. It’s not all about six-pack abs. Just let him know you really appreciate how he makes you feel.

Male bisexuality: myth or reality?
I don’t think it’s a myth. To me, sexuality isn’t really about gender, it’s about the individual. I mean, yes, there’s gay and there’s straight. However, I don’t think it’s impossible for someone who’s homosexual to be attracted to the opposite sex. It just depends on the person.

I went too far with a guy on a first date. How can I take a step back now without giving him a speech about “slowing down” or “gaining respect?”
Be honest with him. Let him know how you feel. You had a good time, yet you’re really not ready for that right now. And if the guy takes it the wrong way, he’s not worth it anyway.

Any athletic or unusual position you would recommend?
This kind of depends on the size of the two people and the strength of the guy. Have the girl straddling the guy’s two arms, and I guess be against a wall for stability. They guy’s holding her in the air. It’s also a good workout.

What position is best for a quick orgasm?
I would say a quick female orgasm would be doggy style. For male orgasm, the girl’s lying on the bed and the guy is on his knees or on the floor and the girl’s legs are up in the air.

What are some tips for picking up a stripper/dancer?
I’m not sure, I’m not a Chippendale yet. But I would say don’t act like a crazed fan. Act like you see him as any other man you’re attracted to. Not somebody who was just stripping down to a g-string on stage.

Rob G., 25

What are the do’s and don’ts of stripping as foreplay? What should women wear, what should men wear, etc.?
Skirts and high heels for a woman — very classy. For a man, tank tops and tear-away pants.

Pubic grooming for men and women: what length/formation is best?
It should be well-maintained. For women, I’m a fan of the Brazilian wax. My preference is that everything is gone.

What’s a good technique for delaying ejaculation?
Change it up. Go from oral to intercourse to oral to intercourse back to different positions. Don’t get so caught up in your selfish moment.

What does every man and every woman want in bed?
Every man wants a woman who knows how to be a woman in public and a whore in the bedroom. Every woman wants a man that’s going to treat her how she needs to be treated, but sometimes they want to be thrown around a little, they want it a little crazy. If you can give them an equal share of both, then you’re all set.

In your experience, what’s the most common mistake men/women make during sex?
They’re too afraid to express themselves. During sex, I think talking is the biggest thing.

Any tips for couples interested in trying out a little role-playing in the sack?
I dressed up as a cop once for one of my girlfriends. Just make sure if you role-play you practice it a couple of times. Repetition is the mother of all success. I tried it several times before I attempted to try it with her. It went well. No complaints.

Male bisexuality: myth or reality?
Being in this entertainment field, it is definitely a reality.

So guys hit on you a lot?
Probably just as much girls do. I think I got hit on two times during this audition.

I went too far with a guy on a first date. How can I take a step back now without giving him a speech about “slowing down” or “gaining respect?”
Don’t give him a dumb speech. Just tell him. If you give him everything right away, the guy is not going to respect you. I don’t care who this guy is, even as bad as he wants it the first night or the second night, if you give it to him, then what’s to say you’re not going to give it to someone else on the first or second night? Every guy wants sex on the first date, but if you do, it’s most likely not going to pan out to anything. That’s one of my biggest turn offs. And don’t get me wrong, I’m gonna try to induce her to have sex.

If you had to choreograph the perfect “first time” with someone, what would the performance entail?
My biggest thing is trying to make the woman feel like it’s all about her. I would have to find out things she likes, things she’s intrigued by, her favorite colors and flowers. Then go out for a beautiful dinner, have a nice glass of wine, maybe two or three glasses just to take the edge off. Before we go back to my house, I’d have everything set up in my bedroom. Light candles, have whatever flowers she likes, whatever kind of music she likes. Bring her into my bedroom and just start small talk and a nice, slow, hot body massage. And just let it go from there.

An athletic or unusual position you would recommend?
I really enjoy when the girl is laying on her back and I have her legs over her body. I’m holding onto the back side of her kneecaps, her knees are right behind her earlobes and I’m totally off the bed. The only thing touching the bed is my toes and her knees.

Female ejaculation: Have you experienced it? How do you make it happen?
First of all, you gotta last. Take your time, change positions. When you’re penetrating, make sure you hit it from the right angle. Every woman is different, and you’ve got to know where the woman’s G-spot is. Some women like penetration along with finger stimulation. Some like just penetration. Some like it really deep and hard. Some like it deep and rotating. You’ve just got to really feel your woman out. Once you know what she likes, keep up the hard work and she’ll produce.

Keys to a successful fuck-buddy relationship?
Honesty. If it just going to be a friends-with-benefits relationship, you’ve got to let them know. Make sure you do it right. You’ve got to do a good job, because you know they could go anywhere to get fucked. Make sure you stand out. MAKE SURE THEY COME.

How can a woman give the perfect blowjob?
You have to go down on the entire shaft. As you’re doing it, jerk him off with your hand. With the opposite hand, massage the testicles. That is an amazing blowjob. And you gotta be sure to lubricate your hand or spit on his shaft. Don’t try to jerk him off without that, because then you’re going to yank his skin, and it’s going to be horrible.

What are some tips for picking up a stripper/dancer?
If you’re really attracted to an entertainer — not necessarily a dancer or a stripper — you can’t be so forward. You’ve gotta give them something to strive for. Every girl out there is throwing it at them. Be different. Stand out.

Isaiah, 20

What are the do’s and don’ts of stripping as foreplay? What should women wear, what should men wear?
Women should absolutely wear ridiculously high heels. You always want to wear something that shows the bottom of the ass. And don’t be afraid to get creative. If you’re tired of the bra thing, nipple tassles work.

Have you ever encountered any interesting pubic grooming?
She shaved it in the shape of a strawberry. It was the best strawberry I ever had! Another time she shaved it like a star. Lucky Charms, I guess.

Techniques to delay ejaculation?
I stop moving. Like it’s a fire drill. Trying to think about grandma and stuff like that is upsetting because you end up thinking about grandma naked. You can’t do that. I just try to detach myself from the situation. Just stop thinking.

What sounds should you make in bed?
“Yes” is always good. “Oh my God” is always good. I say bring God into the bedroom. I’m pretty silent, a bit of a breather. I’m known to growl every now and then. The ladies love the growl.

What are some tips for a couple that’s interested in role playing?
Start off small. Recreate the first moment that you met. Then, as you get further along, you can be the sailor, she can be the whore. You can be the help, she can be the desperate housewife. That way you end up cheating on each other with each other.

Male bisexuality: myth or reality?
I think every human being is bisexual to a certain extent, more so than society and schools and religions would allow you to be. Because in order to know that you’re not, you have to explore the possibility in your head.

I went too far with a guy on the first date, how can I step back now with giving a silly speech about "slowing down" or "gaining respect?"
You absolutely can’t. The speech is useless. Once you’ve gone there, you’re there. So you have to decide whether or not you’re going to be friends or whether you really like the person, and the feelings are mutual, and you’ll go on from there. But there’s no turning back.

What’s an athletic or unusual position that you recommend?
Well, I can’t really describe it with words, but you know you’re kind of [he stands], she’s over the bed, [he indicates perpendicular to him] and you’re standing up and you lean over her [he grabs imaginary legs in air and pumps forward]. You could call this position a “Standing V.”

What’s the best position for a quick female orgasm? And what’s the best position for a quick male orgasm?
Missionary with a pelvic angle, angling her kind of up with a pillow underneath her. And for me personally, doggy style. I’m a doggy-style fan.

Is there such a thing as watching too much porn? How much porn is too much?
[Laughs] When you can sit down to your pornography with a meal. I had a roommate in college who watched it like it was the ten o’clock news. Sitting there, legs crossed, plate of spaghetti, watching porn.

What are some tips you have for someone who wants to give the perfect blowjob?
Keep the teeth above the waist. Get a nice tight vacuum going on. Practice on your thumb. If it feels good to you, it would probably feel good for him.

What are some tips for picking up a stripper or a dancer?
Say, “I’d like to see you with your clothes on.”

Michael Rapp, a.k.a. the original Chippendale, 48

What’s a common mistake people make when they try and dance seductively?
They work too hard. It’s being sexy versus trying to act sexy. Big difference.

Ways to make condoms more enjoyable?
Whoever invents that needs to win the Nobel Peace Prize.

What does every man and woman want in bed?
I definitely like a confident woman with no inhibitions. And for a woman I guess that she would want somebody who is in tune with what she’s feeling and interested in learning more about what feels good.

What sounds should you make in bed? Should you moan, groan, scream or talk?
I enjoy talking, probably moaning a little bit too. Screaming would probably be a turn off. Anything that comes naturally — all animalistic, primal — is good.

I went too far with a guy on a first date. How can I take a step back now without a stupid speech about "gaining respect" or "slowing down?"
If somebody tried to take a step back, I would think that there was something wrong. I don’t think there’s such a thing as going too far on a date. I always thing it’s funny that they think I’m not going to respect them in the morning. There’s lots of girls that I didn’t sleep with that I didn’t respect in the morning.

So you don’t think women need to have a third-date rule?
I’ve never heard of that rule, being in the business I was in.

If you could choreograph the perfect first time, how would you do it?
Your sex changes over the years. So I’m a lot more romantic now. I definitely like candles. I definitely like music. I definitely like taking my time.

What’s the best music for getting in the mood?
Café del Mar CDs, or the Buddha Bar series.

Keys to a successful fuck-buddy relationship?
That’s a tough one. I’ve had a few fuck buddies, but fortunately we were separated because of location. Distance helps.

What are some tips for a woman who wants to give the perfect blowjob?
First of all, you have to look like you’re enjoying it, not like, “I’m doing this for you.” She should enjoy arousing you, just like you would for her.

My boyfriend never instigates sex. I always have to make the first move. How can I change that?
I’m one of those guys who likes to have the woman make the first move. I’m shy. Guys are never going to reject sex. We’d rather have the girl say, "I’m ready for you." That’s a turn-on.

Tips for picking up a stripper or a dancer when you’re at a club?
Be straightforward, because they’ve probably heard every line already. Say, “I want to go home with you” and just wait for a reaction.


Prince, 22

What are the do’s and don’ts of stripping as foreplay?
For the ladies, high heels are a definite do. When I strip in the bedroom, I start with some nice boxers and work boots and work my way down from there. It needs to be dark. You have to have that nice mood light, then come out to some R. Kelly.

A no-fail technique to delay ejaculation?
I pray, like, "Please don’t…”

You pray to God?
I know, it’s really bad.

What does every man and woman want in bed?
Every man wants oral sex. Every woman wants to know that she’s special.

What sounds should you make in bed?
It depends on what type of sex you’re having. If you’re fucking, grunt or do whatever you need to do. If you’re making love, take it to the next level. I just think it’s important to sleep with people who aren’t afraid to let loose in bed. Sometimes I want to talk; sometimes I want a girl to slap me, tell me I’m an asshole. I like stuff like that. It gets you more excited.

I went too far with a guy on the first date. How can I step back now with giving a speech about “"slowing down” or “"gaining respect?”
The thing about a one-night stand is you can’t go back. You’ve just got to put it out there: "Yeah, we slept together. I usually don’t do things like this.” We’ve all said it…

So we’ve all lied?
[Laughs] Yeah, we’ve all lied. You’ve just got to say, “"I know that we slept together, but I’m interested in getting to know more about you if that’s something you’re interested in.” Sometimes you meet someone and it’s about sex at first, and then you start seeing things about them that you like.

What’s the best music for getting in the mood?
I like a little Sade. Then I’ll move into some R&B: R. Kelly, a little Joe Scott. I can’t really have sex to pop music. It’s too competitive. I also can’t have sex with the TV on.

My boyfriend is on anti-depressants and the sexual side effects are making him depressed. Do you have any tips for how I can get him back in the mood?
I don’t know, try lingerie. Ask him. Be like, “Baby, let me take you to a strip club.” Then you take him to a strip club, get him excited, take him home and get busy.

What’s the best position for a quick female orgasm? And what’s the best position for a quick male orgasm?
My favorite position is when her legs are up and I’m going at it from the front. Most of the women I’ve dated enjoyed that as well. It’s quick, it’s easy, and then you can get back to work.

What are the keys to having a successful fuck-buddy relationship?
You have to check in once a week and make sure they know it’s just sex. It’s easier for men than it is for women. They think that they can play the game, but eventually they show up at your house and start breaking windows.

What are some tips you have for someone who wants to give the perfect blowjob?
Women need to be gentle. A lot of women don’t realize the penis is very sensitive. I don’t like it when girls jerk me off hard and rough. Treat it like it’s a lollipop. Just sweet and slow. Go in for the gusto. If you’re going to do it, do it right. Enjoy it. A lot of girls think, “Well, if I go down on him, then I’m a slut.” That’s not true. It’s a part of sex and a part of nature, and I’m going to do the same for her.

My boyfriend never instigates sex, and I always end up making the first move. How do I get him to be more proactive?
Look sexy. A lot of women are upset when men don’t want sex. But you might be walking around without your hair done, without any makeup, without heels. Make your man want you. Show up at his work in a nice skirt. If you don’t know what sexy is, just look at the pop stars, girls like Beyoncé. And then, if he’s still not looking at you, communicate with him.

If I’m in a club and I see a stripper I really like, what should I do?
Talk to them. Well, I don’t know. When you’re stripping, you’re in a different mode. I might get your number, but I’m probably not going to call.  

Interviews and photos by Alexandra Mack and Kate Sullivan. Visit the Chippendales website at www.chippendales.com.

Sex Advice From… appears on Thursdays. Do you have sex-advice questions for the general public? Send them to sexadvicefrom@nerve.com.

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