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Sex Advice from . . . Body Piercers

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Marilyn, 25

In your line of work, people take off their pants and ask you to pierce their most private parts. Does consistent exposure to a vast array of bodies make you better in bed?
No. If anything, it’s made me aware of how mean God can be to certain people. I’ve encountered women who’ve almost made me straight and men who’ve made me gayer. I’ve seen crazy amounts of lint in pubic hair.

How can becoming a piercer help me score?

promotion

People don’t necessarily find it sexy that I’m a piercer. There’s not much glamour to it. I just poke holes. People think I’m kinky because I’m a piercer, and that I’m into pain because of it . . . which I am, but I know many vanilla piercers. There’s a lot of hooking up within the industry. My last long-term relationship was a client.

This girl I’ve been seeing for a few months just told me she has cyber sex with strangers on a regular basis. Is that cheating?
Sort of. It’s just disrespectful, really. If you’re in a serious relationship, and you’re taking part in any kind of sex with another person, you’re not being faithful because you’re getting someone else off.

I tried to buy a vibrator recently, but was embarrassed to even look at them, let alone ask a sales associate for guidance. What would you do?
Grow up. It’s sex, we all do it. You’re not special for wanting a vibrator. You didn’t invent the idea. Everybody has one. Your mom probably has one. Everybody gets horny.

Can a genital piercing tear a condom?
If it’s a larger gauge, then yes, it can tear if the condom is too tight. You can get ones with extra room at the tip.

My girlfriend fakes it — I can tell. I’ve confronted her about it, but she insists they’re legit. Should I continue to press her for the truth, or accept that she doesn’t want to tell me and try to forget about it?
This is an issue that needs to be addressed. Of course she doesn’t want to make you feel bad, but you have to remind her that you’re there for her, and you’ll do whatever is in your power to get her off.

I want to get a tattoo of my girlfriend’s name but everyone says it’s a terrible idea. What other flesh-and-ink gesture could I make?
There is none. Put her picture on a T-shirt and wear it. A tattoo is a kiss of death to a relationship. I only recommend it if you’ve been married for twenty years, and even then it’s a bad idea.

Tyler, 29
www.oathnyc.com

Where should I get pierced to heighten sexual pleasure?
A vertical clit hood piercing can be arousing. The jewelry is resting on the clit instead of through it — it’s the boat, not the man on the boat. For boys, a Prince Albert. I don’t have anything down there. For me, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Any danger of entanglement when two heavily-pierced people want to get down?
Not entanglement per se, but I’ve heard of people losing jewelry in other people. I recommend that people keep their jewelry on tight and check it daily.

What advice can you give for having sex in a public bathroom stall?
Lock the door and be quick, because once people start pounding on it and you come out red-faced with your shirt on backward, everybody’s going to know. And make sure the sink is sturdy. I know someone who broke a sink and was impaled on the ceramic.

Is it okay to tell my girlfriend that she makes unappealing sounds in bed?
When you’re with someone in bed it’s about both of you, and if one person is doing something that makes the other uncomfortable, you should say something. Just choose your words wisely, and be nice. But one time I dated a girl who sounded like a chimp in bed, and I had to say bye.

How can becoming a piercer help me score?
People put you on a pedestal because they’re trusting their body in your hands. They’re letting go of something. Outside the shop, I don’t think it affects my game. I don’t go for girls that are pierced, so it wouldn’t impress them. I like a clean palate. No distractions.

Can a genital piercing tear a condom?
Definitely, especially if it’s a new piercing. Buy a condom with a large head, and lube, lube, lube. Get extra-strength condoms, and make sure you have jewelry that fits you.

What’s the secret to a good rim job?
Do it in the shower and use anti-bacterial soap. As far as technique goes: circle, circle, dot, dot. Treat it like a clit.

I want to get a tattoo of my girlfriend’s name but everyone says it’s a terrible idea. What other flesh-and-ink gesture could I make?
There’s the old myth that if you get the name tattoo, your relationship is doomed. But I got my girl’s name on my nipple after six months — I was feeling crazy, she was making me crazy! — and we’ve been together for two years since.

Peck, 26

What advice can you give me for having sex in a public bathroom stall?
Wear latex body suits. You’re talking to a piercer who’s a germaphobe.

This girl I’ve been seeing for a few months just told me that she has cyber sex with strangers on a regular basis. Is that cheating?
It’s not something I’d condone, but nothing is normal, and if it makes her happy I’d have to support her.

How can becoming a piercer help me score?
Sometimes it’s going to help you, sometimes it won’t. It all depends on the person. I’ve had people I’ve pierced say afterwards, “I totally want to kiss you.” One guy said, “I really like the way you look next to my balls.” I’ve been propositioned at work. I’ve seen girls almost get off from me piercing their navel.

I want to get a tattoo of my girlfriend’s name, but everyone says it’s a terrible idea. What other flesh-and-ink gesture could I make?
You could get matching tattoos. I know a guy and he and his fiancé got pieces of a jigsaw puzzle on their necks.

I’m a straight guy who likes to jerk off in front of a mirror. Is this normal?
Sure, that’s normal. This friend of mine asked me last week, “If I can suck my own dick, does that make me gay?” I said, “No, that makes you flexible.”


Jen, 23

Where should I get pierced to heighten sexual pleasure?
Girls should definitely get vertical clit piercings. Oh my God. It was the best thing I’ve ever done. Some guys I’ve been with are freaked out that I’m pierced down there, but they can suck it. Literally.

Does consistent exposure to a vast array of bodies make you more sexually adventurous?
Totally. I’ve learned all kinds of things about the body, so I feel more comfortable with my own body in bed. My boyfriend says I’m crazy in bed, and I think he means it as a compliment.

I tried to buy a vibrator recently, but was embarrassed to even look at them, let alone ask a sales associate for guidance. What would you do?
Go to a place in Midtown called Eve’s Garden. It’s on the twelfth floor and nobody knows about it. It’s not a storefront. It’s where rich women buy their secret dildos because it just looks like an office building.

Can becoming a piercer help me score?
It’s hotter than being a dentist.

What advice can you give me for having sex in a public bathroom stall?
Wear a skirt, and one of you should weigh under a hundred pounds.

This girl I’ve been seeing for a few months just told me that she has cyber sex with strangers on a regular basis. Is that cheating?
If I found out a guy I’d been dating was having cyber sex I’d be furious. It’s not as bad as actual cheating, but it’s cheating.

What advice can you give me as a twenty-nine-year-old guy about to have sex for the first time?
Spend a lot of time on foreplay so it won’t matter when you come in ten seconds.

What’s the secret to a good rim job?
Make figure eights with your tongue.

I want to get a tattoo of my girlfriend’s name but everyone says it’s a terrible idea. What other flesh-and-ink gesture could I make?
Write her name on your flesh with a permanent marker. It will last till your next shower, and the same could be true of your relationship. You never know.
 

Interviews by Katie Liederman. Sex Advice From… appears on Thursdays. Have questions for the general public? Send them to sexadvicefrom@nerve.com.

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