Sex Advice from . . . Burlesque Performers

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Bloody Belle, 26

Bloody Belle performs in Chicago and produces Girlie-Q Variety Hour, a monthly showcase of queer variety performers. Known for her body-painted stripteases, Belle also shakes her ass in Washington, D.C. and New York City.

What’s your favorite prop or costume piece?
I have these gold masks for an act I do to the song “Goldfinger” from James Bond. Being naked and yet having my face covered — there’s something more erotic about it.


My boyfriend likes to taste his own come. Should I be weirded out?
Absolutely not. That’s a wonderful aspect of being human: curiosity. If he was not turned on by the taste of your come, that would be disturbing.

My partner can’t enjoy sex unless he’s boozed up. How do I get him to have fun when he’s sober?
Maybe the reason he can’t enjoy it is because he associates relaxation with drugs. Take your time and hypnotize him a bit with what you’ve got going on. That can work better than any drug.

What’s the most underrated erogenous zone?
The armpit. I love armpits!

What’s your favorite way to get in the mood?
I am never more turned on than when I’m having a really fierce debate with somebody. Having a really emotionally involved, serious debate makes me want to just fucking rip their clothes off, even if I hate what they’re saying.

Is there such a thing as emotional cheating, as opposed to physical infidelity?
If emotional cheating exists, then we all emotionally cheat. It’s absolutely normal for everyone in some point in their life to come across people that just strike them, and what can you do about that?

Michelle L’Amour, 27

Michelle L’Amour is the director of two burlesque troupes in Chicago, and holds the title of Miss Exotic World 2005.

What’s your favorite prop or costume piece?
My feather fans. They’re huge and wonderful.

What’s your burlesque stage name, and how does it relate to your personality as a lover?
There’s lots of “lahlahlahlahlah” in there. It’s got that allure to it where you want more. More L’Amour.

How can I accentuate my best assets?
Well, I’m “The ass That Goes POW!” So that’s what I accentuate. I wear tiny little g-strings, the tiniest I can find. I’m a happy girl that way.

What’s the most underrated erogenous zone?
For guys, it’s the inner thigh area, and heels and toes.

Any tips for dirty talk?
Don’t try and sound like a Harlequin romance novelist. I don’t want to hear about your throbbing manhood and my heaving bosom. Just lay it all out for me. You don’t have to make it eloquent. It’s supposed to be raw.

I’m in a long-term relationship and I’m worried our sex life is getting boring. How do I make things kinky and fresh?
Do it on the living-room floor rather than going to the bed. Simple things like that are nice and easy to do. And new lingerie and spiky heels.

The White Boom Boom, 30

The White Boom Boom can be seen shaking and shimmying all over New York at shows like Starshine Burlesque and Sweet and Nasty Burlesque. He was also a featured model in Dr. Sketchy’s Rainy Day Coloring Book, and was one of Time Out New York‘s Hottest Singles of 2007.

What’s your favorite prop or costume piece?
I own a gold brocade Amadeus costume. It’s glamorous. All I have to do is shake it a little bit.

I’ve never role-played before. Any tips?
The trick is to not feel silly about it. You have to really own it. Say to yourself, okay, I’m going to throw myself into this character no matter how cheesy it feels.

My girlfriend thinks I’m cheating on her when I watch porn or go to a strip club, but all I’m doing is having a good time. How do I convince her I’m only devoted to her?
Explain that it’s not a substitute for her, but that you realize that she can’t be in the mood all the time. Sometimes you have needs that you need to take care of, and she might not be ready for it. It’s just something to get you by until the next time you and her are together.

What’s the most underrated erogenous zone?
When a girl bends her leg up, and she gets that crease between her thigh and her hip, I think that’s the hottest thing in the world.

I farted during sex. How do I gracefully deal with the situation?
Really try to make up for it afterwards. The worst thing I think you could do is ignore it. Acknowledge it, and try your hardest to make amends.

What’s your favorite way to get in the mood?
I’m a big fan of cooking a nice dinner for someone. I know that’s not dirty burlesque-y at all, but I think when someone is putting forth that effort, where they’re trying to impress you by providing sustenance, there’s something really sexy about that.

Mr. Scratch, 38

Mr. Scratch is the producer and M.C. for the Boston Babydolls, New England’s best-known burlesque troupe. He has produced shows in New York, Boston, and has his sights set on Las Vegas.

What’s the appeal of dressing up in costumes or lingerie when you’re going to get naked anyway?
It’s like the appetizer, or the wrapping on a present. Why put a nice gift-wrap and a bow on a present when you’re just going to open it anyway? It heightens the experience.

What’s the best way to have dirty sex with someone you’ve been sleeping with for a long time?
Dirty sex is all in your attitude. You don’t have to have sex with a complete stranger or in a public park for it to be dirty. You can have dirty sex with your spouse at home if you’re doing it right. Put some fire into it. Grab them when they first get home from work, instead of making dinner. Drive around in your car, find a deserted place, have sex in the backseat.

I live with roommates. Should I censor myself in bed?
Absolutely not. Consider it a bonus of living with you.

How can I get my partner in the mood super-quick?
I like talking. I don’t even necessarily mean talking dirty. The act of seduction by conversation is fabulous.

Is monogamy overrated?
Yeah. I’m not monogamous myself. Sex is sensual, and just like food is sensual and music is sensual and paintings are sensual, you shouldn’t limit yourself to one type of food or music, or only look at one type of painting.

Is it ever okay to force yourself to have sex just to please your partner?
It’s okay, but if you can find some other way to please your partner that doesn’t involve forcing yourself to have sex, I would go with that. Make her breakfast in bed.

Vagina Jenkins, 29

Ms. Vagina Jenkins can be found performing about town in any number of queer cabarets.

What’s your favorite prop or costume piece?
Headdresses, hands down.

Can someone really tell if you’re a good lover by the way you dance?
I don’t think that’s true at all. Some of the best lovers I’ve had have been horrible on the dance floor, and some of the worst lovers I’ve had could rip it up like fucking Fred Astaire out there.

I’m prone to queefing after my boyfriend pulls out and I’m embarrassed. How do I make light of the situation?
Make up a special name for your queef. Call it the Queefinator.

What’s the most underrated erogenous zone?
Behind the knees.

What’s the best way to get in the mood super-quick?
Porn. I like the girl-on-girl kind, but that’s just me.

Is monogamy overrated?
Hell yeah. Monogamy to me is all about ownership, and ownership of another person. Not only is that illegal, it’s just plain fucked up.  

Interviews by Erica Schlaikjer. Sex Advice From… appears on Thursdays. Have questions for the general public? Send them to

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©2007 Erica Schlaikjer &, Inc.