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Sex Advice From Burning Man Attendees

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Sex Advice From Burning Man Attendees

Bonemanman, 23

Going to the Burn with a guy/girl I just started dating — good or bad idea?
Probably a bad idea, although you never know. If you go with someone you just started dating, leave some space between you, have your own campsite. If you're in the same camp, give each other space.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over three years and we still have sex almost every day. But lately it's taken me over an hour (literally) to get aroused. Anything I can do to speed this up?Matt
Try something different. Invite some other people or try other kinds of sex. If you can't make it different every time it's going to be boring for you. I like to bring in different elements: maybe I'll try to dominate them or they'll try to dominate me. Maybe I'll add in some objects, try some anal play. There's a wide array of fun things to choose from.

My girlfriend doesn't give me enough head. I don't want to be the asshole pushing her head down, but I don't know any other way to make it more obvious that I want more fellatio. Any other ways I can coax her to pay more oral attention to my penis?
Try putting glitter on it.

I've never shaved my pubes before. Is this is a good thing to do for Burning Man?
Personally I don't really like pubic hair, especially on women. If you've never shaved your pubes before, generally you'd want to do it a couple weeks before Burning Man. You need to get used to it. There's a possibility of irritation and ingrown hairs.

I've never had an orgy before, but I'm ready for the experience. Any tips on making me look like a natural?
Why would you want to look like a natural? I'd start with ordering everyone a round.

What is a smooth way to exit the morning after?
It's pretty easy. Just say you have to have tea with your grandparents.

Diana Adams, 30
www.feministoutlaw.com

I'm worried that the playa dust will cause infections downtown while I get down and dirty at Burning Man. How can I keep things clean and avoid anything nasty?
You need special care on the playa. First, shaving and waxing may look sexy, but pubic hair was made for just this purpose — keeping dusty stuff out! Definitely don't start with razor burn, because cuts don't heal well in the alkaline environment. Also, homeopathic anti-yeast pills help, starting the week before. A daily spritzing of a vinegar and water mix can keep you well-balanced. Good for man junk, too!diana

Going to the Burn with a guy/girl I just started dating — good or bad idea?
I would be cautious, and negotiate ahead of time how much time you intend to spend together versus hooking up with others or roaming independently. Make sure you have similar expectations: if one of you hopes you're going to have threesome adventures all week, and the other thinks you'll be focused on each other and wholesomely falling in love, you may be making drama soup. Unless you're in a really stable relationship and like spending lots of time together, be cautious about camping together.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over three years and we still have sex almost every day. But lately it's taken me over an hour (literally) to get aroused. Anything I can do to speed this up?
I've been in this situation myself! Several tips. First, if you've got a strong vibrator, you might want to lay off it. I used to have a Hitachi Magic Wand that was halfway to a power drill, and it left me numb. Second, mix it up! Every day for three years means you've had sex with each other about 1,000 times now. Your body may not get the same thrill out of foreplay if it's become a routine. I suggest talking about what kind of spice you might like to add, such as a new location (backyard? kitchen table?), new positions to try, bondage, a threesome, spanking, or a tantra class to explore spiritual connection during sex. Third, try depriving yourself until you really want him again. Try playing a game where you're not allowed to come for a few days, and be his blowjob queen on the off days, until on day three you're teased into a dripping, sex-starved nympho. And if all of this doesn't work, just accept that yonis sometimes take time and need lots of foreplay, and be patient and spend an hour on it!

What is a smooth way to exit the morning after?
If you've had the intimacy of a hook up, actual adult communication skills are nice, though not customary. Honor the person by looking into their eyes and telling them what you appreciated about them or enjoyed about the experience. Then give a smooch and walk out the door without tripping. Don't promise to call or keep in touch if you won't — borrow some balls and be honest so that you don't disrespect them by giving false expectations. Either don't mention keeping in touch, or let them know what you actually intend, like "I'd love to do this again some time," if you intend to put them on your text-message booty-call list. If you really like them, extra points for doing their dishes or making a cute art project or love letter or breakfast.

I recently told my current boyfriend that I used to date a girl, and he said it made him uncomfortable. Should I dump him for making such an inconsiderate statement regarding my orientation?
Explore with him why it makes him uncomfortable so that you can get more information. This could be an indication that he has insecurities about being able to sexually satisfy you or compare to lesbian sex, and you could help him process this and reassure him. Or it could be a red flag that he's closed-minded and judgmental, in which case you should honor your bisexual identity by dumping his ass.

Bruce Lindsay, 36
www.idealintimacy.com

I'm worried that the playa dust will cause infections downtown while I get down and dirty at Burning Man. How can I keep things clean and avoid anything nasty?
Baby wipes!

Going to the Burn with a guy/girl I just started dating — good or bad idea?
I did that last year and we had been together for less than a month. We'd never been to a party together and we went to Burning Man together. And we're still together — it's been amazing.bruce

My girlfriend doesn't give me enough head. I don't want to be the asshole pushing her head down, but I don't know any other way to make it more obvious that I want more fellatio. Any other ways I can coax her to pay more oral attention to my penis?
Ask.

I've never shaved my pubes before. Is this is a good thing to do for Burning Man?
No, I don't think it is. You are already going to be dealing with dust getting everywhere, so any extra layer of natural protection your body is giving you should probably be appreciated.

I've never had an orgy before, but I'm ready for the experience. Any tips on making me look like a natural?
No, I'd say if you feel awkward, go ahead and feel awkward. Don't pretend you're something you're not, because that's going to give off the worst vibe. If you're uncomfortable, let that out. Then the people around you will try to make you more comfortable. If you're trying to hide it they'll pick up on that and they'll be uncomfortable too.

What kind of etiquette is appropriate for picking up people at Burning Man? Are there any specific "codes" or pickup lines you recommend?
No. "Hi, nice boots" is about as much as you need. It's an incredibly charged place. I don't think nearly as much sex goes on there as other people think, because you're so overwhelmed by everything going on around you and wanting to see more of it. Taking the time to hide in a tent and focus on one person is kind of a sacrifice.