Photo By Norman Blake

Ray Valenz, 26

What's great about sleeping with someone in the sideshow?
There's no fetish too freaky, no request too kinky for a sideshow performer.

Has performing in the sideshow ever gotten you laid?
Short answer: yes. Long answer: fuck yes.

Do you prefer to date outside of the sideshow, or do us normies not do it for you anymore?
I prefer gals who aren't sideshow performers, since there's hardly anything I like more than corrupting girls who would be considered "normal."

How does being a sideshow performer typically go over with the parents?
Don't ask me — I never stick around long enough to meet the parents.

What's the best come-on you've ever gotten while working?
"I saw you pounding that nail into your face and it got me to thinkin'... "

I'm involved in an office romance. Should I out it to the rest of the office or let it continue quietly?
I would cut that out altogether. You should never shit where you eat. Alternatively, you could stop eating where you shit, depending on how much you like your job.

There's a girl I'm digging who's heavily adorned — she’s got lots of piercings and tattoos. I'm pretty clean-cut. Is she out of my league — or just out of my demographic?
If you're even asking this question, she's probably way out of your league. It seems like a girl like that would be into confidence and your question indicates that you lack that. But yeah, most people with piercings would date someone without. So grow a pair and go get her.

My girlfriend wants me to pose for some sexy pictures. She maintains that they will be just for us, but she's got a photo blog — and I worry that’s where they’ll end up if we break up. What should I do?
If you're not comfortable with posing naked and there's a risk that the rest of us might be exposed to those pics, do everyone a favor and don't take them!

If "the sideshow" were a sex position, what would it be like?
It would be making sweet, passionate love to your soulmate, when all of a sudden, a gang of midget clowns barges in…

What's a good way to keep the spark in a long-term relationship?
Two words: three-way sex! Wait, is that three words?

I suspect my girlfriend is faking her orgasms — should I confront her?
Absolutely, if you want her to tell you how inadequate you are. Ignorance is, as they say, bliss.