Advice

Sex Advice From Cosplayers


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Q: Is it cool to hit on a cosplayer while he’s dressed up? A: Excuse me while I rummage through my suit of armor to give you my phone number.



PaulPaul, 24

What's the best reason to date a cosplayer?
Well, obviously the best reason is that you can do couple cosplays, and it’s always more fun to be with someone than going at it alone. Especially making the costume — it’s good to have someone to stress out with.

Have you ever hooked up in costume?
Yes! Most definitely. And yes, it’s fun.

The least sexy cosplay character of all time — go.
That witch from Spirited Away.

Do you try to pick sexy characters or amp up the sex appeal with your costumes, or is the character more important than your own physical appeal?
I do try to pick characters that I look like. If you don't have the physique for the character, don’t cosplay them. I've been told I look like a real-life anime boy by a lot of girls, so I have a lot of options.

Someone acceptably attractive asks you out while you're in costume. Is that cool or strange? Is it the wrong time?
I think that would be pretty cool actually. That would mean she is into cosplay — that means I’m into her.

My boyfriend is really into anime and video game, and I know he’s also into some of the girl characters, like the Night Elf from World of Warcraft. Should I buy a costume and surprise him, or will he feel insulted or freaked out that I assumed he was game?
Buy — or better yet make — the costume. Any guy will appreciate his girl in a sexy outfit. Regardless, guys are horny almost all the time, so he wouldn't be insulted.

I've always wanted to receive a blowjob in a movie theater, and my girlfriend said she'd love to do it. We tried it at Iron Man 2 but a family with children sat right behind us so we had to abort. How can we pull this off without getting caught or scarring someone poor kid for life?
Sit in the way back and don’t see a popular movie. You should have gone to see Twilight.

MeganMegan, 32

What's the best reason to date a cosplayer?
I guess I'm rather pragmatic and think you should date people because you have a particular interest in the person. Cosplayers are just (somewhat) normal people!

Have you ever hooked up in costume?
Nope. Never hooked up in costume.

The least sexy cosplay character of all time — go.
Probably the Krang costume I saw on the internet this year. Yuck!

Do you try to pick sexy characters or amp up the sex appeal with your costumes, or is the character more important than your own physical appeal?
I have picked all of my cosplay characters based solely on my love for that character and my ability to execute the costume. I'm not a gifted seamstress or anything!

A friend of mine is seeing this guy who is really into anime and video games. She knows he's kind of into some of the girl characters, like the Night Elf from World of Warcraft. Should she buy a costume and surprise him, or will he feel insulted that she assumed he'd be game?
Are you joking? You're joking, right? Yes, most men hate it when you try to fulfill their sexual fantasies or spice up their sex life. I'm sure he'd be completely offended! That was sarcasm. Do it. Thank me later.

I’ve been hooking up with this girl no-strings because we both thought I was going to move away, but I found a new job and I'm not going anywhere. We've been clear till now that this means nada, but I'm into her. Will she feel betrayed if I tell her I want to try it for real? Maybe she wouldn't have slept with me if she didn't have this out.
Okay, the first thing you're going to have to do is go and get your balls out of the jar you've been storing them in. Man up! How many times have you ever heard of a woman feeling "betrayed" when a man shows more interest in her? I'm willing to bet that she's just as into you and you're worrying about nothing. What's the worst that could happen? She says no and you lose your no-strings sex. The likelihood of that happening is pretty low. Tell her how you feel.

My girlfriend is in the closet. I don't think she's got a problem with her own sexuality, but she's hyper-aware of what her co-workers think. Should I encourage her to make herself known, or is her career none of my business?
As long as your girlfriend isn't forcing you back into the closet when you're out together, I don't see why she should have to out herself at work. I imagine she just wants to keep it professional and leave her home life at home. Give her a break.

Sometimes I like my boyfriend to be forceful and call me filthy names. I love it when he holds me against the wall or gropes my ass on the stairs. Other times I want an equal connection. He has trouble telling which times are which, and I don't know how to communicate it without losing the steam. What should I try?
Assuming you know which time is which before things get started, why not just communicate it outright during foreplay? Being direct seems like a lot less effort. But if you're shy and into making it more difficult for yourself, consider an example: in the BDSM community, people distinguish the time they're in their regular life versus dominant/submissive life with a collar. If you don't own a collar and aren't really into the implications of that, maybe assign a pair of earrings or a bracelet you wear those times you're feeling like you want to really go at it.

I've always wanted to receive a blowjob in a movie theater, and my girlfriend said she'd love to do it. We tried it at Iron Man 2 but a family with children sat right behind us so we had to abort. How can we pull this off without getting caught or scarring someone poor kid for life?
Don't go to a blockbuster movie that's geared toward families! Head to a theater that is less popular and a movie that's been out for awhile and has dwindling crowds. A second-run theater could be perfect here. Bring a jacket and sit in the back. Have fun. Besides, isn't part of the excitement here that you might get caught?

TabTab, 20

What's the best reason to date a cosplayer?
Cosplayers are creative and up for new things — always good in a partner. From my point of view, it's hard not to date cosplayers. If I didn't date people at least in the anime scene, I have no idea what we would even talk about!

Have you ever hooked up in costume?
Never. Wearing a costume is not sexy. They're uncomfortable, hot, pain-inducing nightmares with awkward underwear. I can be in the sexiest-looking thing in the world, and underneath I'm a sweaty bear who smells and just wants the damn thing off. Sex happens after I take everything off and shower.

The least sexy cosplay character of all time — go.
Pedobear
.

Do you try to pick sexy characters or amp up the sex appeal with your costumes, or is the character more important than your own physical appeal?
It's very hard to pick sexy male characters. I do sexy female characters occasionally, as crossplay is pretty cool on the scene. But then getting hit on by straight men got awkward, so I stopped doing them so much.

Someone acceptably attractive asks you out while you're in costume. Is that cool or strange? Is it the wrong time?
Excuse me while I rummage in my suit of armor to give you my phone number. It's slightly awkward, especially as at most con people come from everywhere around the country, so while it's nice to be asked out, you know they live in Scotland somewhere so you'll never get a chance to actually date. I don't do one-night stands personally, so it's not something I would say yes to.

My girlfriend is in the closet. I don't think she's got a problem with her own sexuality, but she's hyper aware of what her co-workers think. Should I encourage her to make herself known, or is her career none of my business?
Just let her know you’ll support her if she does come out at work. Pressuring someone to come out is one of the worst things you can do, especially if it doesn't work out! However, mentioning it and offering support means that if she was considering doing it before, she'll feel better when she does do it. If she's not interested then she'll just be happy knowing you care. If you can, print off some information on discrimination law; sometimes people are scared to come out at work because they think they'll be fired. This might alleviate her fears a bit.

Sometimes I like my boyfriend to be forceful and call me filthy names. I love it when he holds me against the wall or gropes my ass on the stairs. Other times I want an equal connection. He has trouble telling which times are which, and I don't know how to communicate it without losing the steam. What should I try?
Look into a safe-word system. With anything like this, consent can get a little bit ambiguous, especially if things are supposed to be "against your will." So saying no might get taken the wrong way. Green light, orange light, and red light are pretty standard ones. Another way is through titles. For example, if you call him “sir,” it's forceful time. If you call him by his name, you're on equal footing.

I've always wanted to receive a blowjob in a movie theater, and my girlfriend said she'd love to do it. We tried it at Iron Man 2 but a family with children sat right behind us so we had to abort. How can we pull this off without getting caught or scarring someone poor kid for life?
Next time try for an over-eighteen movie? Pick one with the worst ratings and at a weird time in the day. Movie theatres are really awkward for anything sexy though; many have night-vision cameras and they don't take too kindly to semen on the seats. You'd have better luck fucking in the toilets.

I'm a gay man in my early twenties and I live in a pitifully small town in rural Wisconsin. Unless I drive three hours to Madison or Chicago I have no good options, but an older, married man has expressed interest. He's attractive and he claims his wife knows he does this. Should I go through with it or wait even longer to get some action?
Ask to meet the wife. There's nothing wrong with poly as long as everyone who is involved knows, but the second lies are involved it just becomes a massive shit-fest. Trust your instinct — if you meet her and she's cool and you feel comfortable then have a go. If at any point you feel uncomfortable, don't, because nothing spoils sex quicker than a lump of guilt on top.

ErikErik, 24

What's the best reason to date a cosplayer?
If you ever get tired of dating one personality, they have several more for you to choose from!

Have you ever hooked up in costume?
Hell yeah! Everyone has always had that secret fantasy of hooking up with someone they don’t know. This is just a safer way to do so.

The least sexy cosplay character of all time — go.
Sailor Bubba
or Man Faye. It’s a toss-up.

Someone acceptably attractive asks you out while you're in costume. Is that cool or strange? Is it the wrong time?
It’s an awesome time! It means they are comfortable with the idea that you cosplay. They just have to realize that you might not be the same person out of character as you are in character.

My boyfriend is really into anime and video game, and I know he’s also into some of the girl characters, like the Night Elf from World of Warcraft. Should I buy a costume and surprise him, or will he feel insulted or freaked out that I assumed he was game?
Assuming makes and ass out of you and me. I think all gamers or cosplayers would like the idea of cosplay in bed, but it’s always better to talk to the person because they might not be attracted to the character you picked.

What if my boyfriend just doesn't care that we're gaining weight? To me being fit is a really big deal, but he says the weight-loss industry is just trying to sell more expensive  diet foods. Is there any hope of compromise here?
Being healthy isn't an industry fad; it’s an important part of life. While the body image for girls is stressed a lot more, that does not exclude men from taking care of themselves. It’s not fair that girls do all these things to take care of themselves and make themselves look better if guys aren't willing to put forth the same amount of effort.

I’ve been hooking up with this girl no-strings because we both thought I was going to move away, but I found a new job and I'm not going anywhere. We've been clear till now that this means nada, but I'm into her. Will she feel betrayed if I tell her I want to try it for real? Maybe she wouldn't have slept with me if she didn't have this out.
If she likes you she won’t mind trying it out, and if she doesn't like you and doesn't want to try it… well, you had a few good nights. It’s really a win-win. She could be understanding and want to try to make a relationship out of it, but you were planning to leave, so you can’t be upset if she doesn't feel the same way.

My girlfriend is in the closet. I don't think she's got a problem with her own sexuality, but she's hyper aware of what her co-workers think. Should I encourage her to make herself known, or is her career none of my business?
Always keep professional and personal lives separate. It’s just necessary. Even if she comes out to her friends, she shouldn't say anything at work anyway.