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Sex Advice From Cougars
Using a handsome young intern as bait, we tracked down some sexy older women.
By Libby Rumelt
What's sexy about sleeping with younger guys?
Their emotions are closer to the surface. Their physical condition is still refined. They have a sense of adventure. It’s like a ride in a sports car versus the family sedan.
Besides age and experience, what makes cougars good in bed?
Honesty. I tell my partner what I want physically. And that makes it so much easier on him. Saying what you want makes for less fumbling about, less embarrassment overall, and a more satisfying time for both of us. Being comfortable with your own body and sexuality is something that one only acquires with age and experience.
What’s the best thing about a cougar?
We are confident, and not constrained by false social norms. Older men have been dating younger women forever — we believe an older woman can date a younger man, too. That’s called a level playing field. That said, there’s a physical component; we have to stay fit. And, as a woman ages, her intelligence and demeanor play more of a part in her attractiveness.
What's the best way to pick up a cougar?
The same as anyone else — find each other through the things you both like to do. Things like the gym, surfing, wine-tastings, or whatever. The old grocery always works for me. Lettuce run away together!
I'm an older woman looking to start a lasting relationship with a younger man. Is this a possibility, or is being a cougar all about the sex?
Sweetie, I can have new partner anytime I choose. So can you. But being a cougar is not all about the sex. If you are interested in a relationship with anyone, then the time-honored rules apply. Ask yourself: do I feel chemistry with this man? Do you share things in common as a starting point for a relationship? How about your personalities? Values? Sex gets talked about twenty-four/seven, but the act itself takes up much less of the week.
My mom and my girlfriend are the same age. I'd like to introduce them, but I'm feeling a bit awkward about it. What's the best way to prepare my mother?
If your mom has been paying attention, she already knows you prefer to date older women, so dump the same-age guilt. She, in theory, loves you for who you are and, within reason, will try to be accepting of anyone you choose to bring home. Time to man up and speak to your mother as the adult you’ve become. Suggest a meeting to introduce them. Select a neutral ground like a nice restaurant. Have lunch. Go shopping. Maybe they share a sense of style. Don’t expect too much.
Also, it might be hard on your girlfriend if she senses your reluctance/uncertainty. These are your issues. Deal with them. You should be proud to introduce your girlfriend as your girlfriend to both friends and family.
All of my friends tell me I'm too easy and that's why guys never call me back. How do I play hard to get?
What tortured lives we lead. What is it that you are offering that draws them in the first place? Sex? BBQ ribs? What? Pretend you are a restaurant. Your customers are coming in once and then don’t return. Offer better food. Improve yourself. Improve your surroundings. Stomp out those personality quirks. Then mark up the price. The better you feel about yourself, the more selective you will become in who you are willing to embrace. Playing hard to get is sexy; being hard to get is sexier.
My boyfriend just got a job in another state, but I need to stay put because I'm still in school. I don't want to break up with him, but I'll miss the sex. How can I make long-distance work with such a high libido?
If you are intelligent enough to know that schooling is important to you and your future, then some self-pleasuring is advised. Try to burn off some of that pent-up desire with hard exercise. And do I need to say that two fingers have other uses aside from measuring shots?