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July 26, 2011
Lucia, "Old enough to be a cougar"
What's the best way to pick up a cougar?
If a cougar is interested, you just need to start a conversation. Even if you are nervous and say something dumb, she’ll be more forgiving than younger women, because she knows how difficult it is for a man to approach a woman he’s interested in. Whatever you do, don’t use a pick-up line — she’s heard them all and it’s a total turn off.
What's sexy about sleeping with younger guys?
Besides everything? They look great — and they usually have sexy six-packs, stamina, and endurance. Plus, they're attentive, eager to please, and willing to learn.
I'm an older woman looking to start a lasting relationship with a younger man. Is this a possibility, or is being a cougar all about the sex?
It is absolutely feasible! The old definition of being a cougar was just about having sex with younger guys, but more and more cougars and cubs are now having long term relationships and getting married.
My mom and my girlfriend are the same age. I'd like to introduce them, but I feel a bit awkward about it. What's the best way to prepare my mother?
Mothers are usually not too happy to learn that their sons are dating a woman close to them in age. Understand she may not accept it at first. She may be wondering if this means there won’t be any grandchildren or she may be worried that your girlfriend is using you and will break your heart. Have a conversation with her and let her know you understand she may have some concerns, but you are happy with your girlfriend and hope she will be happy for you. Do not insist that they meet until your mother is ready.
I've been dating someone for five months and he still hasn't called me his girlfriend. I'm not sleeping with anyone else, and I really don't think he is either. Should I just assume that I'm his girlfriend and stop being hung up on the label, or should I talk to him about it?
Never assume! If he hasn’t said it, you probably aren’t. The best way to handle this is to say, “Several guys have asked me out lately, and I wasn’t sure if I should accept, because even though we’ve been dating for five months, we’ve never defined our relationship. What should I tell them?” If he doesn’t say you’re his girlfriend, then you can continue to see him, but you should definitely start to date other guys. He doesn’t have a right to your exclusivity if he isn’t willing to “claim” you.
I told my girlfriend my "number" last week, and now she’s mad. It's a pretty high number, but in my defense, she begged me to tell her. How can I convince her the number of past sexual partners isn’t such a big deal?
You can’t! That’s why I suggest you never give your number unless it’s in the single digits.
All of my friends tell me I'm too easy and that's why guys never call me back. How do I play hard to get?
It’s not about playing hard to get, it’s about being a high-value woman. There’s no point in being hard to get and then being a doormat and not setting boundaries once someone has you. Be open and available, but also love yourself. The way to do that is to not do anything that doesn’t feel good, including not having sex with someone until you are sure they are interested in “you” and not just the sex.
Commentarium (90 Comments)
Caree is pretty much my hero. "Playing hard to get is sexy; being hard to get is sexier" is so spot-on.
...and hot too!
she's money
Victoria can't be real. Oh my goddddd.
Don't worry, I'm sure parts of her aren't.
The reality is that there are more young women with breast implants than older please let's not fool ourselves.
Caree, You have a desire it has nothing to do with a younger man that is eager. I have had extremly eager and intense sex since I was told once by a very sexy young woman we where 19 , she said to me quote" you either learn how to satisfy a woman or we are done . Well I not only learned how to satisfy Her I enjoyed doing it , to the point my scorpio imagination has made love aka sex by going what I like to take around the world in 45-50 mins. I know I have a great pleasure in a womans satisfaction. The more you are pleased the more it feels so good. Now I am your age and I will bet that the word couger is a word not an action that you get lost in and experience, experience and will allways be memorable . I am not asking for a date but life is a highway and well I think you can finish that .....:)
Well alrighty then, you didn't snap up my douchebag bait, so call me and leave a message. I'll show you a good time!
Ooo! Are misspellings, broken sentence structure and disjoined rambings the new aphrodisiac?
Forget about Eric, he's a mantart! I'm available ladies! Just call me! Call me! I'm alive! Call me call me anytime call me.
if these are regular people met off the street (are they?); then why are all the photos posed/photoshopped?
that said, I like the theme and some of the advice.
I'm a Photoshop engineer, and I can tell that these photos were shopped, big time.
...and your point?
My photo is NOT photoshopped - it was taken on the fly at a red carpet event. Check out my videos and see for yourself: www.youtube.com/cougarchannel
I checked with all my engineer buddies, and they can attest to the fact that these photos were clearly shopped. Anyways, back to Photoshop. I've got shopping to do.
PS - Nice video! You're clearly a 40-year old chick imitating a cougar. I checked with my engineer buddies, and they all agreed.
@Scott - is on the tip of my pencil. I keep it finely honed in case I need to produce any emergency Photoshop diagrams. Thus the pocket protector, I don't want that baby punching a hole through my shirt pocket and wounding me in the breast! Hahaha! Engineer humour, gotta love it.
I am a model and I submitted several photos, both untouched and professional (including candid shots) to the editor for this article. Nerve selected the photos they wished to run.
Please submit *your* photo for next month's feature so we can all have a good look at you!
Clearly there's been some shopping going on. Just who's been shopping for what, is what I'd like to know!
I just ran the photos through the Photoshop Detector Analysis Machine, and sure as teacups, there it was. Fingerprints of the photoshop engineer that shopped those photos! Caught red handed.
Oh for gawd sakes Zorg. The next time you have a lady over for the evening, are you going to have to confirm you first move with your engineering buddies? You better call up Tyrone. But you can't use my phone....
Zorg, doesn't have time for the ladies he is to busy examining photos. LMAO!!
Hey! What are you guys laughing at! Me? Are you guys laughing at me? Hahahaha! Let me in on the joke, OK? Pleeeeeease?
These women, if real, are a ridiculous exception when it comes to looks. Most women in their 40's look nothing like them. Not even after extensive surgery. Very few women act like them, too. Relationships between older women and younger men rarely work, as proven by countless surveys. At best, each of these women could date someone younger for several months.
Also, some of the shit they say reminds me of the memes circulating about urban gay communities. Particularly the co-opting of the derogatory term used to describe them, and adding other words like 'cubs.'
Nerve, please do one of these about sororities or some other gathering/occupation of babes in their 20s. Ktxbi!
I guess its different in your mind when men date/marry someone 15 years younger than them, eh? Nice vague citation of "countless surveys" to bolster your argument. And if you look around at women in European countries (say, France) women in their 40s 50s, and even 60s look amazing, and not due to excessive surgery, but just from taking care of themselves from a young age. Just because we in the States somehow relegate women over 40 to prune status doesn't mean all women have to put up with that or portray that. It is a reflection of our intolerance of aging women that they resort to calling themselves "cougars" in an effort to embrace a once-derogatory term that is used to discriminate against them (exactly as the queer community has done). My guess is that you are young and naive...Indeed, you should be sticking with the immature sorority babes who ostensibly just want to live up to some young guy's expectations and not their own.
I guess I could have picked on several commenters, but yours bugged me most because I know several couples that have over a decade of age difference and they have been really happy for years, married or not, whether the male is older or the female is older. It would serve you right to miss out on a true love due to your own ignorance.
It's so funny how distorted people's perceptions of a 40 year old woman are. I'd say most of these women are probably in their 50's, with some work and photoshopping. A 40 year old woman does not look nearly as old as people seem to believe. In fact, oftentimes plastic surgery can have an aging effect on a woman's face, as it makes her look more drawn and, of course, because we associate it with older women.
It probably comes from a combination of plastic surgery fanaticism and women lying about their age, but yeah. Women do not suddenly become wrinkled old grandmothers between 39 and 40.
After checking the photos again--I would say the first one is in her late 40s-early 50s, the other ones not. I was definitely overgeneralizing cougars for a second there, sorry.
Good observations, Nope. In the US we go over the top with surgery, and it is so obvious that it does have a "look" that we now associate with aging women. In Europe (and again I use France because I spent a great deal of time there), their ideas about plastic surgery are very different. Some women there definitely "have work done". But it is so subtle that the overall effect is one that makes a woman look as though she used lots of sunscreen in her youth and so time was gentle on her. The point is to look like yourself five years ago, not twenty, and it works precisely because one cannot tell it was done. And women are doing this because they are still getting laid by young and old alike and they want to keep it that way! Are men any different? Not really, even though we are kinder to older men in the US. Men like George Clooney have definitely had surgery, but in the same vein as the French – damned subtle and never in denial of one's true age.
Sigh...I'm just now turning 30 and already scared of imposed prune-ification, I suppose. I should just move to France and quit bitching. I've seen women there still get wolf whistles in their late 50s.
I don't think any of these women are over 50 but even if they were, so what? It's not a CRIME to be over 50 but from some of the comments on here, you would think it was.
cha, my boyfriend is French, and his sister is in her 50s. After her divorce she started hitting the clubs and taking home men 10 years younger than she is. No magic there. She just takes good care of herself and looks great.
Nope, you poor, sad thing. The writer asked me if I wanted to use my real age. I said yes. But I still hold that I am 38 in "Facebook" years. LOL!
http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,2011796,00.html
Older men dating younger women absolutely works. That's why it's a cliche. Lasting relationships between older women and younger men? Not so much. Cha, you may know a few couples, but odds are it's the man who is older. If not, how long has that relationship lasted. Please note, I don't mean 1 or 2 year difference. It's more like 5-10. At any rate, women of all ages can get laid at will if they're not disgusting, but can they have a lasting relationship? That is the question, and my answer, based on fact, is no.
These women are depressing. The "I'm a cute young thing approaching 50" thing is sad. The fact that they have way-photoshopped pictures only adds to the atmosphere of desperation.
I think you missed everything they said. Not one of them offered advice that made them seem "desperate." In fact, the exact opposite. Just because a woman hits 50 doesn't mean that she 1) can't be cute 2) can't date whoever the fuck she wants 3) can't talk about what seems to be bitchin' sex lives and offer sage words of wisdom. You'd be lucky to have a gal like that.
Most of us young guys just use these "gals" until we find a woman.
I think it's usually the other way around, "Meh".
These woman are not depressing, you are. They are everything you probably aren't. Envy is such an ugly thing to have. I happen to have had the pleasure of meeting Caree. She is 44 fit, looks great in person as well as in her photographs. Woman half her age can only dream of looking as good as she does. And, no she has never had procedures to enhance her beauty. She trains in Jiu Jitsu and lives a healthy lifestyle try it you too may look as good. Stop hating get off your ass and go do something to enhance your beauty. And just a suggestion, start with the inside and work your way out.
No worries CFG most of us cougars only use you too. :)
I'm available for use! Call anytime.
You look for confident young men with six-pack abs? Translation: hookers.
Ooops, sorry, that was six-packs. OK, you'll find confident young men with six-packs at the beer store.
Moops, trust me not all young men and women have six packs look around you this nation has the highest number of obese young men and women, Please, age has nothing to do with it. It's a lifestyle, older woman take better care of themselves now days. People are so critical you need to get a life and stop being so judgmental. Hookers really?? You're an idiot to say the least. I would love to see a picture of you at 40 if you are not that age now. My prediction, you will have a keg in your 40's
Pretty much every single picture on this site has been altered in some way. It seems weird, the kvetching about it for the cougars. If you have an issue with photoshopped pictures, I suggest getting off the internet and going to look at real humans, maybe even talking to a few.
The pictures of people usually aren't, at least as far as I can tell. Talking to Strangers has some beautiful, very honest photography.
Because the whole idea of a cougar is frightening to a fragile male ego. They have to hate what they can never have.
Yes, that's why I hate breasts and pussy! ROFLMFAO
Do 60-year-old guys get 80-year-old cougars?
Gah!
I don't need that visual!
Young men "usually have sexy six-pack abs." Uh-huh. And almost all of them have eight-inch cocks and six-figure salaries, too.
Hilarious article. I hope to live up to such a reputation one day. True desperate housewives. Nice work, Libby Rumelt.
Relations with a Younger Man Older Woman or vise Verse or Same age has it's own dynamics and can end normally because of trust,cheating,insecurities,financial ,abuse verbal or mental,physical issues etc .....I can go on and on....One dynamic that we all share is love and affection that as a human being we seek and desire and how our relationships all end or last depends on your person to person personal relationship development that you both maturely have control of. If your choice is younger man or woman of legal age then that's your business and nobody's to judge. Mutual attraction is blissful and very rewarding when Cougar and Cub confirms that attraction with a smile a Hello or Dinner signs or a meaningful start. As I've heard growing up "Different Strokes for Different Folks"
I don't understand why cougars get a bad rap at times...
Younger men often prefer cougars for the same reason that younger women prefer older men; they bring a sense of maturity, confidence, and wisdom that most younger women haven't yet acquired. I went through it... www.redflag101.com/damaged-goods-story/ Granted I was young and naive too...
That being said, is the relationship dynamic capable of a long term relationship if it wants? or is it more just of a short-term fling done for the "experience"?
Can you say haters? These women look great. I am a photographer and I too know photoshop. They are no more photoshoped than any 22 year old model. Ladies keep doing what you are doing. You are beautiful,sexy and intelligant and don't let the spiteful ugly comments bother you.
Preach.
Peaches.
Zorg I am photographer and I too know photoshop, So what is your point? They w?ere photoshoped now that was a noteworhy. Great observation? Thanks for pointing it out. Ha Ha!
Humm. Http://onehotnight.com
Why fuck a cougar who has surgery to look like she's 25, when you could fuck a 25 year old woman who won't see you as just a trophy?
@Riiight You've obviously never had sex with a Cougar, or you wouldn't even be asking that question.
Only with age, comes wisdom and experience.
If you want to see more photos of Victoria and Caree, check out their pictorials on: www.Urbancougar.com
All these women seem fun and sensible, and their wit and personality are apparent in their answers. Some of the commenters seem hung up on the photoshop issue, but I'd like to point out that there are people at any age who photoshop their pictures. I'm in college, and I know plenty of girls whose Facebook pictures have some digital magic happening. It isn't about hiding your age. Photoshop is a readily available tool to improve your pictures and make you look the best you can in them. Seriously, what's the big deal?
I think that the vast majority of the photoshop comments are made in jest. (Srsly, who ever heard of a "photoshop engineer"? LOL)
The only thing funnier than that, is that people BELIEVE them.
My guess is that absolutely none of you have a fraking clue about women like this. These women arent looking for a relationship, or a man to love and enjoy life with. ITS ALL ABOUT THE SEX! They no more want a stable loving man in thir lives than the 20 somethings they are boning want another mommy. But there is something to be learned from them, young ladies.Young men are attracted to them for the same reasons some of you date men in their 40s and 50s. Money, cars, clothes, fancy dinners and vacations. In short, financial stability that you get to fuck, plain and simple. No 25 year old with any self resect wants to screw 5lbs of 45 year old chipped ham looking vagina or a grey pubed 4 inch shriveled penis without their being an overwhelming underlying motive. CASH. Bottom line is that you've turned yourselves into a generation of whores without the stereotypes or the sore feet.
You are confusing Cougars with Sugar Mamas. Most Cougars are not giving cash to the "Cubs". I know you may find it hard to believe, but there ARE men who prefer dating and even marrying older women for a multitude of reasons, the least of which is sex. Many Cougars ARE interested in a relationship and often find they are happier with a younger man.
I can see where Caree, with so much botox she looks like a department store mannequin and the cheap boob job (Mexico - or just incompetent?) would raise stereotypes. However, there are older women out there who are into nursing yonger men for the pleasure of it. Being in charge raises seretonin and dopamine levels, so there's a physical basis for their enjoyment. Each "cougar" is an individual and they all have their own reasons. Oxmoronically one could say, "Everybody 's unique!" This is just entertainment. Why get all real about it. Chill . . ..
Bull Its all about cock and cash
Fuck you, asshat.
Oh, sorry. You said "cock and cash" - I thought you said - oh, nevermind.
Perhaps the definition of "Cougar" is women who look like this and are slightly predatory. I have no bone to pick with these women at all. But, I would add that there is a difference between the "Cougar" in popular culture and the increased incidence of older women and younger men getting onvolved, whether it be for a brief sexual adventure or a more serious relationship. Most "older" women do not quite look like these women. When Iwas in my twenties I had a wonderful year long realtionship with a woman 17 years my senior. She was a tad "immature" for her age, I might add. But, she was smart, intense, real, etc. She taught me a lot about life and offered me her wisdom and guidance in all sorts of ways. She gave me a perspective on life that played a major role in everything that came after. She deepened my respect for women and help me become a better man. The term cougar did not exist back then, but even today I would hardly classify her as a cougar.
Cougar-hating makes me sad. These women strike me as far from desperate -- Caree in particular had some great advice.
They certainly don't look desperate. I'd marry any one of 'em.
Yeah, I don't get all the hate. The older man/younger woman relationship is socially acceptable, but an older (gorgeous) woman/younger man isn't acceptable? WTF.
Ok Sexy intern as bait really?
I'm 48 and still look 30. The women and men are just as fked up in the head as ever. I think the brain fails do develop emotionally after high school. Man, I wish I could get a couger. But the bullshit is just 2 much. Anyways I'm just a loser without a job and 23 yr. old "FWB' WITH NO BENIFITS. I no I can do better. I'M handsome,slim,athletic educated,sexually healthy etc. etc. etc. Yet emotionally immature also. Did I graduate highschool?
You certainly didn't graduate Grade 8 Spelling and Grammar.
You are so funny Nucking... Thanks for that excellent observation you twat.
This is one of the best "Sex Advice from..." that I have read. Go Cougars!!
Just proof that you are never too old to be a whore!
And what exactly is your definition of a "whore"?
Sad thing is most of the older,nice looking women look bad without make-up.
I have dated several 21-25 women(I am 44) and I found that while they do what is needed the mental feeling isnt there.
Sex isn't too hard for a woman and a normal guy,I have done everything imaginable sexually except "gay" things.
Don't be fooled ladies,most men lie to you as long as they can get off with you and a warm hole is all they need even if loose.
So next time you tell a man "you will rock his world" remember to not get a big head since it isnt that hard to do.
Not all young guys have sexy six pack abs. I've seen young guys with beer bellies and older guys with sexy abs, so you really can't pigeon hole something with age. I think the Cougar thing is to feel desirable after a certain age. If young guys are hitting on you and you're over 30 then you're hot.
What's that thing on Caree's right shoulder?
Gee wllikiers, that's such a great post!
o4K2tn As usual, the webmaster posted correctly!!!
I always thought I would play hard to get. No acting like a floozy for me...no sir. No girl was going to take my cherry without a fight.
Then one day I called over to see a friend and his mom said he wasn't home but I could come in and wait.
"ok"
Curses.
Those cougars sure are clever. I fell out the door an hour later knowing a hell of a lot more about life than I did an hour earlier.
I was fourteen at the time.
I found the women interviewed for this to be funny and smart. My mom is 60 and had a 30 year old propose to her after they dated for 3 years. So for all the girls reading this: the guys who are commenting on how gross it is are simply the ones who are being denied and are grouchy about it. What if our society respected older people and their wisdom? Unless you're not planning on living a very long life, you're going to be that age someday. You can do it with dignity or you can watch more porn, delude yourself into thinking a 20 year old girl is going to fuck a 50 year old guy, and keep fapping.
I have actually met Caree in person. She is a smart, talented lady and a gorgeous cougar. She and my husband (who is actually her age) just had fun talking and actually about photoshop. If you actually look, her photos are mostly adjusted for lighting more than anything else.