Sex Advice From Cursive

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"What's the best way to seduce a member of Cursive?" "Slather yourself in barbecue sauce."

by Alex Heigl

Cursive’s new album, I Am Gemini, comes out this week. We caught up with band leader Tim Kasher on the band’s tour to have him dole out some sex advice. 

Cursive’s been a band on and off since 1995. In what ways is keeping a band together and functional like making a relationship work?
Well, with Cursive, we completely stay out of each other's way — we've never felt like we’ve had to do anything. We've always just done an album, and never really made plans to do another, so we always had complete freedom to not feel chained down to one another, which I think is a good way for any relationship to be.

So it all comes down to giving each other space?
Yeah, I always feel independent within the band. No one really requires or demands anything of anyone.

Nobody’s calling you at three a.m. asking where you are?
Well, they do that anyway. But that's personal [laughs].

What's the best way to seduce a member of Cursive?
Probably with tater tots and chicken wings. Also, barbecue. If you could slather yourself in barbecue sauce, that’d be the way to go. 

That’s surprisingly debauched for Cursive.
It's all true, I promise.

You and Conor Oberst go back a long way you guys grew up together in Nebraska and went to high school together. Is he a good wingman?
Well, I think he would be. It's a little rough to say yes or no. He'd be a great wingman in the sense that anywhere you go, there would always be plenty of scraps [laughs]. He’s a very attractive young man, and very successful, so chances are, all eyes are going to turn to him, and you’ll be immediately dismissed. 

What kind of female attention does a band like Cursive get on tour, as opposed to a band like, say, Mastodon?
Well, I think despite us being a bit different from Mastodon, we tend to be one of those bands whose concerts are a vast crowd of disgruntled, bearded young men. That seems to be what our sexual pheromones are reeling in.

You grew up in Nebraska, but you recently moved to Atlanta. What's the dating scene in Atlanta like compared to the Midwest?
You know, honestly, I wouldn't even know. We've been joking about the whole music scene in Atlanta it certainly seems like if I were maybe to start rapping more, maybe I'd have access to the right bars. In the Midwest, certainly Montana, it's okay to kind of pack it on and wear a few extra pounds for the winter — that's totally normal — but in Atlanta… it seems like the coasts are where everyone emaciates themselves.

I love my girlfriend, but I kind of hate her friends. What should I do?
It depends on how horrible of a person you are and how willing you are to separate her from the people she's grown up with, who have supported her. But if that’s the type of person you are, you're probably not going to be happy with her once she's left all her friends for you.

I keep trying to hit on guys in the local music scene, but apparently everyone in indie rock is asexual. What’s going on?
It probably depends on what shows you're going to. If you're going to, say, Cursive or Mastodon shows, it's possible that it's a largely asexual crowd and you're not going to have much luck. I've done a lot of touring with Minus the Bear, though, and there’s a lot of girls at their shows. Maybe you’d have better luck there.

There’s a big female following for math rock?
Yeah, it surprises me too [laughs].

I go to punk shows with my girlfriend. Should I feel emasculated when she heads straight for the front of the crowd, where it’s rougher, and I hang back by the bar?
I think you should consider dating an older woman.

I’m really interested in this guy that sings for a band, but every time I see him, he’s surrounded by girls. What should I do?
I'll repeat the sage advice of countless mothers of girls I've dated: just run away. 

My boyfriend is a drummer, and he's headed out on tour. Any advice for making the long-distance thing work?
You just have to trust in each other. Don't feel the need to check in every night — you shouldn't be mothering or fathering each other.

Lastly, what’s Tim Kasher’s go-to seduction playlist? 
Hm.This is going be awful, and make no sense. I'd start with Nina Simone, "The Other Woman," because it's a bit suggestive. Then "This Woman's Work," by Kate Bush, which might be an odd pick, but it's a great song. Then we’ll go to "There Are Worse Things I Could Do" by Rizzo from Grease, the Stockard Channing recording, and follow that up with "Eternal Flame," by the Bangles. And we’ll close with "Say My Name," by Destiny’s Child.

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