Sex Advice From Drunk People

By James Brady Ryan
 

Roger, 23

What are some things to keep in mind when you're having drunk sex?
I guess, to start, it's all about keeping it up, from the male perspective. More than that I can't say, really, much. Be respectful.

What has drinking taught you about dating?
When you're drunk you speak far too often. You think certain amounts of dialogue are appropriate when they're very inappropriate, in fact. So you might be trying to tell a girl she's attractive, but you end up saying "I want to do you because you have a big butt." Censored. Internally. Poorly. There was so much going on right there; it was difficult to...convey.

My girlfriend's friend hit on me. I'd feel guilty not telling her, but how should I do it?
Bring it up over dinner maybe? A dinner conveys a certain sort of sentiment. When you're out to dinner with a girl — because you care about them, one — two, because you're trying to impress them, obviously, so if you're reached that certain level in your relationship when you're both trying to be considerate and impress them at the same time... I just do not want this. I'm sorry.

I went on three great dates with a guy, and then he disappeared. Now, three months later, he called me. What should I do?
Well do you not know, to a certainty, he was not in another country? I feel like that's a pretty obvious response to: "I haven't heard from you in three months."

But he wouldn't have mentioned that?
Some things are pretty spontaneous. It's hard to understand — what if he's a musician?

What?
If he's a musician and all of a sudden his band got signed and he wasn't that into you, why is he going to reference the fact that he's leaving for New Zealand in two days?

My boyfriend is bi and wants to have a threesome with his gay friend. I'm down, but what should I do as a girl to not throw off the gay guy's mojo?
I have no idea.

You have a very bad imagination.
My imagination stopped at age eleven.

FIND MORE
Sex Advice From Potheads
Miss Information: We're just friends — until we get drunk and naked.
A Note From Your Drunk Date