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Sex Advice From Extremely Tall Women
"There are things only tall people know about..."
By Delia Pless
photo credit: Long Tall Sally
Arianne Cohen, 6'3"
I'm five-eleven, and I'm intimidated by women who are taller than I am. Do I have some weird complex?
No, absolutely not. There's a lot of sociological research showing that there's a very fundamental fight-or-flight wiring that we're all ingrained with that makes us pay attention to people and animals that are bigger than us, so it sort of makes sense.
Why are tall ladies better in bed? Or are they better in bed?
I would assume that they're just as good or bad as everybody else, I've got to say. I mean, if we're talking about me personally, of course I'm amazing. But, broadly speaking, I'm sure you have just as many rock stars as you do underperformers among tall women.
It's a Friday night. You're going out and you want to look hot. Do you wear heels?
If they match the outfit, absolutely. The highest I've ever gone is six-foot-eight. I have a pair of five-inch platforms that I adore. My theory on this is I'm already tall, and everybody can see this, so I might as well look good. If you think about it, the difference between six-foot-three and six-foot-five is not that big. I'm still really tall.
If the guy's just average height, is sex more difficult?
No, not at all. I think in sex with people of any size, there are pros and cons. If you're a tall guy who sleeps with a teeny tiny woman, you can pick her up and throw her around a little bit more. But there's a sense of being enveloped by somebody's body that's really sexy. I think there's also a sense of powerfulness when a larger person is enjoying sexual pleasure or is having an orgasm. These are things only tall people know about.
Maybe she can pick him up and throw him around a little bit?
What's the worst position for a short man and a tall woman?
The kama sutra is not made for tall people in any way, shape, or form. Tall people can't do most of the positions in there.
From personal experience?
Not at all. From a strength perspective, tall people have less muscle mass per square inch. You also have a higher center of gravity.
Maybe that's why I can't do a pull-up.
That's totally why. There's a section in my book talking about pull-ups and push-ups, because I'm bothered by this.
You've written a book about sex and you've written a book on being tall. In your research, did you find out anything surprising about tall women and sex?
Tall women say over and over again that their height is a good litmus test for finding men who are comfortable with themselves both in the bedroom and in life. And that's really true. If some guy comes up to you and he's really calm and cool at a party and he's five inches shorter, you're dealing with a good egg. It's nice to have that litmus test with you wherever you go.
Some studies suggest tall women make more money. Why do you think that is?
There's a lot of research about this. It's gender-neutral, actually. Tall people make $789 more per inch per year than other people, because they're assumed to be leaders, so their work is perceived to be of a better quality than it often is. They're also quickly given promotions in the workplace. So it doesn't actually have that much to do with tall people and has everything to do with the people who are shorter than them.
I'm a small guy who's hopelessly in love with a woman almost a foot taller than I am. She's perfect for me, but the height difference weirds me out. What should I do?
In both of my books, I've seen many happy, loving relationships with couples who look absolutely weird together. One of the most important things you can do is be democratic about who you sleep with. The minute you try to set a height limit, you're shooting yourself in the foot because you're canceling out most of the population. Only 3.9% of the male population is taller than me. If you add in all of the ridiculous qualifications that somebody needs to have in order to make it into my bedroom, you're talking about a really small percentage of the American population.
What are your ridiculous qualifications?
Oh, you know, you have to be wonderful and amazing and well-read, and you have to outsmart me in pillow talk every night, and on and on...