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November 8, 2011
Jodi Chromey, 6'5"
I'm five-eleven, and I'm intimidated by women who are taller than I am. Do I have some weird complex?
No, not at all. I'm six-foot-five and I'm intimidated by anybody taller than me. I'm so used to being the tallest person around that when I meet someone taller than me, it's kind of weird.
Why are tall ladies better in bed?
I've never slept with a tall woman.
As a tall lady, why would you think tall ladies are better in bed?
I would say because we try harder. We're so used to sticking out and being noticed that we try to excel at everything we do. Because you don't want to look like a fool. I think men are intimidated by tall women. If you're taller than them, just height-wise, men aren't used to being in that submissive role. And I think men derive a lot of power from their physical largeness, so when they're with a woman who is taller than they are, they don't know what to do. They're so out of their comfort zone.
It's a Friday night you're going out and you want to look hot. Do you wear heels?
No, and here's why. I get asked that lot. I'm big, I'm tall, I have big feet. And they don't make heels that I would wear in my size.
What size shoe do you have?
A twelve in men's. That's like a fourteen for women.
That's pretty big.
Not for six-foot-five — there's a lot of me to support. If I wanted heels, I'd have to buy like six-inch stiletto heels made for drag queens. I wouldn't even know how to walk in those.
So you've never worn heels before?
I wore two-inch heels for one of my sisters' weddings, and I felt like a linebacker in drag.
Is sex with a tall lady more difficult?
No, because we're all the same size lying down in bed. But if you want to do things standing up, that can get a little awkward. I've been with men who are shorter than me, and I have short legs for my height, but my legs are still longer than theirs, and when you're kneeling down, things just don't match up right. If his penis is coming up to the middle of your thigh, things aren't going to work. There's only so much squatting you can do.
If you could miraculously wake up tomorrow morning and be six inches shorter without being terribly deformed, would you do it?
No. I like being tall!
Commentarium (71 Comments)
THANK YOU for interviewing these ladies. I've been tall all my life (6'1") and I've been every level of insecure about it. It's nice to know I'm not alone!
I'm 6' (30, SWF) and have also been incredibly self-conscious.
i like tall women and have no complex dating them
That Anna Goldfarb is one hot ladymensch!
TAL, we are both on the same page.
Haha, yes. Although I have a lovely ladyfriend I would not want to give up and I am about four inches too tall for her, I would probably come up to her nose.
Frau Goldfarb could schtup me anytime!
Lindsay, wish I could have seen you when you were 2-years old!
Correction: *currently 6'1" haha
mmhmmm. Most taller women I come across say things like "yea, I need a guy taller then me" or "I don't go out with shorter guys" Frankly, I find it shallow and has turned me off to tall women. I guess I'm glad some women out there are not like that.
Most women of all heights seem to prefer guys taller than them. As a 5'3'' guy, you have no idea how many times I've had girls 5'0'' say to me that they would rather date someone taller. And it kills me to hear that Anna likes to date "really short guys", and have her clarify that "really short" means 5'6''.
Overblown my dear, height preferences are all relative. Being 6'1, a guy who is 5'6 comes up to my chest which is the sweet spot because if he were any shorter, I'd have a hard time talking to him while we were walking down the street because I wouldn't be able to hear him. I'd have to bend down while we talked. Believe me, I've tried! I could probably go as low as 5'4 but seriously, any lower than that then he'd have to stand on a curb just so we could communicate comfortably.
I'm not against your personal preferences, but the phrasing was rough. Imagine being moderately overweight and insecure about then, then hearing someone say "Yeah, weight doesn't really matter in a partner. I even like the heavy ones - like size 8!"
The phrasing could have been more sensitive, but to be fair, 5'6" is below average for a guy here in the US. Calling it "really short" shouldn't imply there's something wrong with guys who are shorter. Just like we might say a 6'1" tall woman is "really tall", because she's significantly above average height for a woman, without implying that a 6'5" tall woman is therefore some kind of freak. (This is coming from an average-size girl who has dated guys ranging from 5'2" to 6'3", by the way,--height isn't an issue for me!)
mmhmmm. Most shorter men I come across say things like "yea, I need a girl shorter then me" or "I don't go out with taller girls" Frankly, I find it shallow and has turned me off to short men. I guess I'm glad some men out there are not like that.
You know, I wouldn't go nearly so far as to say I have a fetish, but I've always enjoyed tall women. My girlfriend is relatively tall, so was the last one. But I've definitely noticed a preference for women across the board to prefer a guy who's taller than however tall they happen to be. I don't have any real insecurities about my height, I'm a perfectly conventional slightly-above-average six foot nothing, which is more than adequate for the vast majority of the dating I do. But nevertheless, there's some kind of spark that I've noticed goes out when a girl is taller than you. It happens infrequently enough (like I said, I'm not short) that I suppose I shouldn't be drawing a pattern, but still...?
I'm 4'11", the opposite extreme. What's worse?
being tall is worse.
being short is worse.
Not being comfortable with you you are is worse. I'm 5' 10" and married to a woman as tall as I am and it's great. I will say, short women are fun, as they mentioned in the article, because it's easier to be more dominantly physical in bed with a smaller woman.
The problem with being short is that the difference between "tiny" and "tank" is only about 20 pounds. So you literally can't eat as much as other people, unless you've got a rockin' metabolism.
I find it funny that some men are turned off by tall women. Hey guys, we're always told that we shouldn't look at women in the boobs, but when a woman's chest is face-height there is not much we can do about it.
I'm tall (5'10") and the two guys who I've dated who were shorter than me both complained about it. They told me they wished I wasn't so tall, basically, as though I could do anything about it. Now I know it's something that will bother a lot of guys; I think it makes them feel emasculated. And if they're going to voice their insecurities to me it in turn makes me feel big and manly, which most women don't want to feel. This is why I prefer taller guys.
same boat. I don't particularly want to be the man in my relationship.
Yeah, who would want do date someone who does pussy shit like "voice their insecurities" to someone that their dating. They should just be men and bottle up those feelings.
Well, those people do sound odd. Personally I like tall / taller women. I don't consider height to be stronger / more dominant. A guy who feels emasculated only because he is shorter has some insecurities he needs to deal with, but when people say things like "I don't particularly want to be the man in my relationship" its hard not to take offense at a jab meant to say being short is inferior.
Voicing ones insecurities in an abstract sense is different than voicing something you don't like about yourself in direct relation to your partner. And if these guys had said "I wish I were taller" that would have been a slight improvement. But no, they actually said "I wish you weren't so tall." Also... they were both skinny guys. I'm skinny as well, but this meant they were both shorter AND weighed less than me. As someone who enjoys being dominated in bed, this did make me feel kind of awkward. (As it did with them, obviously...)
So call it what it is - you enjoy taller men because of their dominating physical presence. But don't try to play like taller men because all shorter men have some inferior personality trait. I prefer skinny girls not because I think they are across the board more confident - I just think fat is unattractive. If you're going to be superficial, at least be honest about it.
I am 6'6 and my ex-wife was 5'0, and you would have thought that we had three heads when we were in public the way people would stare. It is awesome to hear Jodi say that it's weird when she is around someone taller than her, as I know that feeling completely.
I have found that alot of women are interested in the beginning of having a tall man, but alot seem to want around the 6'0 to 6'2 range and I have had several women complain about always having to look so high up just to maintain eye contact, and they feel that diminishes the connection.
It's nice to know that I'm not the only one weirded out by people taller than me. Thanks.
I'm not anywhere near as tall as these girls, but I'm 5'8 and my partner is 5'5. I loved reading this and identify so much with their logical approach to relationships. Stupid shit matters because we make it matter.
I'm close to 7'. If I find a girl who's taller than me I think I'm legally required to marry her.
...and then get your own reality TV show called "Tall Tales".
I'm 6' and I always feel super self conscious wearing heels I'm glad someone has the tall lady stones to do it.
Also 6' and have completely stopped wearing any kind of heels. I just feel completely weird and hate the comments.
A tall woman in heels shows self-confidence. It can also be intimidating. Both self-confidence and intimidation can be very, very sexy.
I'm also a pretty tall woman (5'9 1/2) and it took me a while to get over being so tall. But, now I absolutely love it. Especially for auditions, I'm an actor, and it totally gets me noticed over other girls. WOOT tall girls!
As a 6'7" male, I want to say 2 things.
1)Being tall rules!
2) tall women are so sexy!
some guy, What is sexy about a tall women? The question comes from a 6' woman who has also felt unsexy.
Tallness is an attractive characteristic, one among many. I'm pretty much average height, but I can't imagine being intimidated by a woman just because she's taller. I do see personal ads from tall women looking for men who are as tall or taller, though.
I used to be one of those women who, at 6', had been burned by shorter men complaining how my height made them feel uncomfortalbe, and thought the solution was to only date taller. What a rude awakening I had when I found that most men taller than me had no interest in tall women (or me, whatever). Now I'm an incel and don't even think about these matters. :) It is lonely but soooo much easier than feeling bad about yourself constantly!
Wow, those must have been some insecure, dumb men then! I find tall women sexy and desirable. Damn those short guys that burned you and ruined you for guys like me! ;)
I'm a 6'2" man (not unusual) and have often had significantly shorter girlfriends.
Obviously, this is more socially "acceptable" than tall woman & short man.
All I can say is, height differences don't matter in bed.
I'm intrigued by having a girlfriend the same height (or taller) as me, but hasn't happened yet.
Hmm, interesting that you are intrigued by that -- that is really rare to hear!
I'm really surprised by all of the comments along the lines of "height doesn't matter in bed". I've been with girls ranging from 5'1'' to 6'0'', and the logistics are definitely not the same in all cases.
NoVA, can you elaborate re: the logistics? I too have never understood why people say it doesn't matter...
Well, it's just that there are some positions which aren't comfortable if certain sets of body parts don't line up the right way. If I'm with a girl who is shorter than I am, I can comfortably be a 'big spoon' in a way that never really worked with a girl who was a bit taller than I am. Similarly, being with a girl significantly shorter makes it difficult to kiss and well, you know, at the same time in a way that isn't a problem with someone my height. Just different positions for different cases IMHO; I just wasn't expecting to hear so many people say that they've never had those difficulties across the height spectrum.
Indeed, height and weight matter very much in bed, though I've found that it's ease of mobility, not positioning, that's the issue. I remember a friend of mine was dating a very overweight woman who complained that he was too gentle in bed and didn't throw her around enough. When he dumped her and dated someone half her size, he discovered a whole new assertive/dominant side to his sexuality. It's hard to throw someone around if you can barely breathe when they're on top.
Of course plenty of tall women are also slender, but a 6'2" woman is still going to weigh quite a bit more than a 5'2" woman with the same body type.
Being 6'1" tall, I have dated women who are average (5'6"), short and been with one that was tall (6'3"). I find qualities that are attactive in any height category. The one that was 6'3" had a 6'6" sister who liked to wear 6" heels. Man was she georgeous but a little bitchy. My wife is 5'1" and she is just as beautiful.
I am surprised at how many females are claiming that they don't mind dating a shorter guy or how "other qualities" matter. Either Nerve attracts a different set of women, or they are lying through their teeth.
Yes I am short male, so of course it's all sour grapes. But really, I have never met a tall woman who gives shorter men an equal chance. They are not bitchy, or biased, they just prefer taller men and I accept that.
Yes, I'm always amused by women who lament the world's weightism and/or lookism, but won't date a guy who's under 6 feet. It'd be nice if we could agree that it's OK for men to be weightist, and it's OK for women to be heightist, and both sexes should quit bitching about it.
(P.S. I'm not short, so I don't have a stake in this one way or the other -- I just loathe hypocrisy)
Firstly, nobody's "lying through their teeth". There ARE women who wouldn't mind dating a shorter man. I know because I happen to be one of those women. But I also haven't met many short men who give taller women an "equal chance" as you put it, and I'm only 5'8" - so I can imagine how much more difficult the dating scene is for women who are even taller.
Secondly, it's all relative, and it's all PRIMITIVE. For me - there's something really nice about being closer in height with your significant other... it's the eye to eye conversations, being able to hear his breathing, etc.,etc ... there's just a stronger physical and psychological connection/attraction. I also suspect that short women are much more heightist than tall women, and I suspect that it all has to do with procreation. Based on my circle of female friends, all the short ones describe an aversion to being with a shorter man because they do not want to increase the chances of having "short kids". I don't seek a super tall man because the thought of having "short kids" has never crossed my mind...it's never crossed my mind because... well, I'm on the tall side.
"Secondly, it's all relative, and it's all PRIMITIVE."
I agree. It'd just be nice, I suppose, if more women were candid about the fact that their preferences are every bit as shallow as men's. It's not like wanting a tall man is somehow nobler than wanting a woman with big breasts, or one who's not fat. I guess it relates to women's anxiety that men will leave them when they get old and unattractive, so the idea that high priority on physical appearances = shallow bastard gets pushed hard.
(P.S. Procreation, maybe...but I still maintain that women's attraction to power is the third rail in any honest discussion of gender roles, and height = power in most people's minds.)
Sorry, that should've been @@.
I haven't seen any women on here claim that a preference for height ISN'T shallow. I don't think you should assume that women don't have shallow preferences the same as men. In my experience, it's more men who are offended by these preferences. Women are used to being judged in shallow ways.
Oh, I've never assumed that women don't have shallow preferences, nor am I offended by them. I just wish we'd stop pretending that women are any nobler than men -- an idea rooted in Victorian notions -- or that their "shallow preferences" deserve to be called anything but what they are. Again I come back to the difference in how we view short men vs. fat women: when a short guy has no romantic luck, we snicker knowingly about "short man's syndrome" and basically see him as ridiculous and blameworthy; when a fat woman has no luck, we cluck sympathetically and talk about what pigs men are, since they can't see the inner beauty. That strikes me as deeply hypocritical, at best.
(To be blunt about it, I think most people instinctively feel that women are more deserving of sympathy than men...and that men who show signs of weakness or suffering are deserving of contempt. After all, men are supposed to be strong, and are valued for their power. But that's another conversation...)
I'm tall (er) 5'9" and 5'11" in heels and it's hard even for someone my height to date shorter fellows. They really get weird about it. I dated a guy that wouldn't leave the house with me if I had anything taller than ballet flats. (P.S. the "There's only so much squatting you can do." made me spit out my coffee!
" I just wish we'd stop pretending that women are any nobler than men -- an idea rooted in Victorian notions -- or that their "shallow preferences" deserve to be called anything but what they are" and, "(To be blunt about it, I think most people instinctively feel that women are more deserving of sympathy than men...and that men who show signs of weakness or suffering are deserving of contempt. After all, men are supposed to be strong, and are valued for their power. But that's another conversation...)"
I could not agree more!! Ladies, listen up, it's time to start holding up your end of the feminism/equality bargain. So far, too many have happily scooped up the benefits gained in recent decades, yet stubbornly cling to female privilege so clearly described by @nn.
Woman up, ladies. Step up, start taking some risks, taking some initiative with men, make that call instead of standing on some ludicrous principle that "it's the man's job" and other such nonsense. And stop with the misandry while you're at it.
I've fallen for tall women, (I'm 6'1") and have always been turned down by women both taller than me and just slightly shorter. They all want taller guys. It seems like women that are 5'9" and above want someone 6'5" at least.
What a bunch of whiney freaking men in this comments section. Gawd. NO ONE here is pretending women are nobler than men. Women just don't spend as much time bitching about the injustice of the fact that not every single guy they find attractive wants to sleep with them. If you refuse to believe women are judged just as much by shallow characteristics, I really see no point in continuing this conversation.
Here's what women bitch about.
Short women bitch about being approached by the short guys who think they have a chance for a date, only to be shot down in flames. They want the same tall guy every woman wants. Tall chicks bitch about the lack of men approaching them but they don't necessarily include shorter guys. We don't count as men because of our height. I'm a short guy, 5'6, who loves tall ladies but I don't discriminate against the short girls either. Needless to say it's the short girls who do most of the rejecting because I'm not over 6'0. Tall girls are sometimes more receptive, especially the ladies standing taller than 6'0. The smart ones know that cutting out shorter men severely limits her dating pool. Truthfully though, the harshest rejections have come from tall women whether it's in the form of being laughed at for trying or simply by her stating, " I don't like or date short guys."
I don't deny that men superficially judge women, but when society justifies labelling a short man with short-man-syndrome or call him Napoleanic just because he's aggressive, ambitious and strives for success in life like everyone else, that's a problem.
I think that perspective is all in your head. REALLY.
I am 6'2", and find women that are as tall as me very sexy. There are plenty of 5'6" blondes walkin around, but there aren't many over 6'.
All of my questions settled-tanhks!
I'm 6'4" and have never seen women pretty at these first too with that height. I don't discriminate on height, but I do discriminate if you are very out of shape, or sloppy dresser.
Height means very little when bent over or on hands and knee's. Get over it and move on if it's an issue.
I'm a 5'4 male, and I love tall women. How else am I supposed to make children who can support me through their athletic prowess?
I'm 5'9". I've got no problems dating a woman that is taller than me, but I find that most taller women want an equal height or taller partner. I've only ever found two women who did not feel self conscious about stepping out with a shorter guy. Anna, I'm glad to hear that you don't let this get in the way. There's a lot of shorter willing and able guys around.
I totally wish I could have a fine, long-legged, tall, sexy, beautiful woman just like Anna Goldfarb! Her and the lovely Arianne Cohen are awesome, amazing women! What a dream it would be to have both of these ladies fightin' for my attention LOL!!! Oh man I'm starting to sweat thinking about it!!!
Anna's enthusiasm for shorter guys is kinda strange to me, but not entirely unbelievable. Hooray for her if she's for real! Need more of her in this world. Not that I think there's anything wrong with her afinity for shorter guys. It's just deathly rare that a taller women especially standing more than 6 feet, has any type of fondness for shorter people. I believe tall women subconsciously seek out other women like themselves physically, so they don't appear as freakishly taller than everyone else. I always see tall women in groups together, sometimes with a short girl or two as part of the group but the competition is still very intense for the tall guys. Some tall women aren't as embarrased in public with shorter women friends because most people will think they're just buddies with height differences. It's not the same for short guys because taller women have troubles dealing with the negative attention from the public that goes with dating him. She'll be called a mom or a big sister which are two of her biggest fears. Most short guys I know don't have issues with taller women and would happily date them if given the opportunity. This is where the problem lies. For every 6 foot + woman like Anna Goldfarb who's open to dating a shorter man, there are ten times as many, if not a whole lot more who adamantly refuse shorter guys. They disqualify guys even if he's one half inch shorter. Usually, if the heels say yes, he's a go. If the heels say no, he's SOL.
hi all
I'm six foot and wear heels sometimes. On my dating profile I'd said prefer a guy my height or taller BECAUSE the shorter guys I've dated have felt uncomfortable with me in heels and it made me feel awkward. I just went out with a 5'8" guy though because he messaged me anyway insisting he had "6ft swagger"--as long as he's comfortable I am!