Stacey, 26

Why date a bartender? 
We're used to getting hit on, so it doesn't make us tempted when people flirt with us. I also see a lot of people make fools of themselves, which makes me super thankful for the boyfriend I have. Bartenders are usually confident and easy to talk to. My boyfriend always likes how he can take me anywhere, and I’ll strike up conversation with anyone. He doesn't have to worry or babysit me; I can hold my own. 
 
What's the best way to pick up a bartender? 
Just be cool. Buy her a drink and let her know you appreciate how crazy her job can be some times. Say something quick and witty if it's busy. And leave a good tip! Comment on the music if you like it because she might have something to do with what's playing at the bar. Smile and act like a gentleman — that really stands out to me.

What’s the best way to pick up a bartender? 
Don’t order anything girly (unless you're making a joke of it), anything that’s time-consuming to make (unless it's that kind of bar), or anything mixed with juice. Nothing ghetto either, like a rum and Coke with no ice. And don't order expensive liquors unless you're drinking them straight. Please don't mix Courvoisier and Coke.

Why are bartenders better in bed?  
Confidence is a huge factor. And we're used to having conversations about sex. And we like to drink a lot which makes us easy and adventurous (kidding... sort of). Plus all bartenders like giving blowjobs and getting it in the butt! Kidding, again.

For the last week or two, I've been ignoring this guy who I casually dated, yet he really doesn't seem to get the hint. How do I politely blow him off? Tell him you want to set him up with one of your friends [laughs]. No, that's kind of fucked up. Honestly, if I was already ignoring him anyway, I would just send the cowardly text saying I'm not interested or that I met someone I really like. I know everyone thinks doing things like that via text message is wrong, but I think it saves him the humiliation also. 

My friend is cheating on his girlfriend, who's also my good friend. I don't know what to do. Should I intevene? 
Talk to the adulterous one first. Tell them you think it's really uncool, and that it puts you in a bad situation. Give them the ultimatum of telling their significant other themselves or you will. If you aren't willing to get that involved, then you have to just ignore it. 

My boyfriend gets serious morning wood and always wants to have sex before he leaves for work. I, on the other hand, hate morning sex. Do I plan a schedule? 
What the hell? Who hates morning sex? This one is difficult for me to answer because I would never turn down morning sex, even if it made me late for something. (Also, I don't understand how people date people they can't talk to. What the fuck people, it's called communication!) Just tell him you don't really like it that much, but you'll compromise and do it, just not every day. Don't make a stupid schedule though; who wants scheduled sex? Goodbye, spontaneity! 

My girlfriend recently gained some weight and it’s definitely affecting our sex-life. It's not the weight itself though, so much as her insecurity about it. She gets touchy when I even try to tell her to chill out about it. Any advice?
I've been in this situation before. I would tell her that it's not the weight gain that I dislike, but it's the attitude that it's causing. Then maybe sign you guys up for a gym or go running or start cooking better meals together. And if she acts offended by any of this, keep calm and tell her you are resolving something that's turning into an issue for both of you. She'll give in; I would.