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Sex Advice From Former MTV VJs

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Alan Hunter, 49
On August 1, 1981, Alan Hunter became the first VJ to appear on MTV with the words, “I’m Alan Hunter, let’s get to it.” After six years on the network, Alan went on to develop various pilots for Fox and hosted a number of shows for the STARZ network. He currently heads his own production company, Hunterfilms , and serves as the President of the Board of the Sidewalk Moving Picture Festival.

What’s the best playlist for a bad breakup?
Gotta have a Journey song in there. “Hello Goodbye” from the Beatles, or “Let It Be” or “The Long and Winding Road.” I’m Beatle crazy. “Beautiful Child” by Rufus Wainwright. Then I would throw some Ben Folds Five in there. [Singing] “Give me my money back, give me my money back, you bitch!” I would also add songs that have nothing to do with love or breaking up, because you really need to get to the pathos of the heartbreak. Something by UFO — they’re fun party music that makes you want to pop a martini and have a good time.

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Say this breakup song is on a CD that I left at my now-ex-boyfriend’s house. How do I get the CD back without looking like I’m desperate to see him?
Go for a barter. I don’t think there’s any way you can not look desperate unless you act like you have something to trade him. Jack his pet and say, “Give me my CD back and I’ll give you the cat back.” That’s not desperate. That’s pragmatic.

What’s the craziest thing that happened to you while working at MTV?
During spring break one year, I was interviewing this Hawaiian Tropic lady, and a group of frat boys behind me were chanting louder and louder. I’m trying to keep my concentration as I’m interviewing this bikini-clad woman, and finally I came over to one of the guys and asked, “What are you saying?” He says, “Hunters got a woody!” I repeated what he said before I even realized what it was, and true enough, I did. I had a woody.

Recently, my boyfriend lost interest in having sex. Does this mean he’s cheating?
Absolutely not. I don’t believe in that at all. Most people in a relationship believe that the other person is doing nothing but thinking about them all day long, but everyone’s got their own personal baggage they’re dealing with on a daily basis. It has nothing to do with having a wandering eye. I’ve gone through dry spells where I was either tired or distracted because I wasn’t making any money. There are so many factors that can be in play.

Does playing music during sex take away from the experience or enhance it?
Oh, I definitely like setting the mood with a little music.

What’s the best song to have sex to?
Any kind of Brazilian music. I’m crazy for those rhythms. It’s gotta be rhythmic. Don’t put on Caribbean music — that’ll totally blow the mood. Put on some sexy female. I’ve never been to Rio, but those things remind you of a hot sweaty night and hot sweaty sex. Definitely don’t have sex with the TV on because that’s distracting. I’ve had sex with the TV on next to the bed and I caught myself checking out CNN.

Way to kill the mood.
Yeah. “The world is going to hell in a handbasket. Let’s make love.”


Who’s the sexiest artist on MTV right now?
Who’s that kid who’s sort of the new Harry Connick, Jr.? Michael Buble. Then there’s that guy Sufjan Stevens. I could even do a little Fiona Apple.

My boyfriend spends a lot of time with his best friend, more than he does with me. I know I shouldn’t be jealous, but I can’t help it. How do I confront him without sounding paranoid or controlling?
The first thing you’ve got to do is suck it up because in this age, there’s no room for jealousy. Have a nice conversation with your partner and talk about that friend. Say, “Do you love me? If you do, then everything else you do sounds good if that makes you happy.” I think whatever makes your partner happy, if it doesn’t intrude on your relationship or take away from it, you have to understand it and let it go. Possessiveness is the ruin of most relationships.

My girlfriend got me concert tickets to see my favorite artist, but I’m dumping her. Should I wait until after the concert to do it?
You would be a horrible person if you did this. There is no room for opportunism like that in an honest relationship. You’ll hate yourself later. You should get a scalper to buy the tickets and save a little extra premium, and that’ll help with your guilt.

My boyfriend wants me to swallow when I give him head, but I hate doing it. Do I suck it up or refuse to do it?
I went on a date once with this girl, and I didn’t know whether the chemistry was there. She said something about having a bad gag reflex, and I asked if she’d given oral sex. She said, “A little bit, but I just don’t like to swallow.” It’s not like I took that information and crossed this girl off the list, but I definitely wasn’t as interested.

Is it impolite to spit it back out?
No guy wants to sit there in the middle of his orgasm and hear you go, “Eww, yuck.” Now, I might call that guy a Neanderthal if he dumps you for that reason. Maybe the girl’s good at something else. She should practice another position that would wow him. Is this guy giving her good head? That’s what I want to know.



NinaNina Blackwood, 51
With her wild, blonde locks and unmistakable raspy voice, Nina Blackwood won the hearts of MTV’s earliest viewers when the network launched twenty-five years ago. Since then, she’s gone on to host various TV and radio programs like Rock Report on Entertainment Tonight, and has appeared in a number of films such as Disney’s Rock ‘n’ Roll Mom. You can listen to Nina, along with other original VJs, on the Sirius Satellite Radio show Big ’80s.

Recently, my boyfriend has lost interest in having sex. Does this mean he’s cheating?
No. There may be other issues that are happening. There might be fear of intimacy, or there might be a physical problem. You don’t know, but I would never jump to the conclusion that this person is cheating.

How do I talk to him about it?
Really get into a conversation about what’s going on with him. If you really have a strong enough relationship, it might behoove you to go to a relationship counselor.

What’s the best playlist for a bad breakup?
Don Henley’s “The Last Worthless Evening.” That was one that I wore out. It’s one of those songs that went right to the heart. Or if I’m feeling bad about the world, but not necessarily about a relationship, probably my favorite song ever written is George Harrison’s “My Sweet Lord.”

The person I’m dating is a complete asshole, but the sex is great. What do I do?
If the person is a jerk, who cares about the sex? By staying with someone who’s a jerk, that’s selfish motivation. You’re actually using somebody, which I don’t find a particularly attractive quality.


Who’s the sexiest artist on MTV right now?
Christina Aguilera. Her image became a lot classier. She kept a touch of sexuality, but it’s more about sensuality now. I would also say Shakira, in a very organic way. She’s not what I would call tacky. Just organic and earthy.

How about guys?
Anthony Kiedis of the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

I broke up with my boyfriend, then realized that he still has my favorite CD. How do I get it back without looking like I’m desperate to see him?
Call him up on the phone and just say very nicely, “Please send my CD back.” Keep it short and sweet.

My girlfriend got me concert tickets to see my favorite artist, but I’m dumping her. Should I wait until after the concert to do it?
Oh, God. I don’t think so. If you’re waiting to dump her until after the concert, it’s a premeditated thing. If you go to the concert and then dump her, you’re a big schmuck.

Does playing music during sex take away from the experience or enhance it?
I think it takes away from it. I’m a musician. I start hearing the music, my ear starts going towards it and away from the issue at hand. It even happens if I go for a massage. I start thinking about the music too much and I can’t relax.

My boyfriend wants me to swallow when I give him head, but I hate doing it. Do I suck it up or refuse?
Suck it up! Ha! No, I would talk to him and say, “This is something I’m not comfortable with.” Tell him what you like. I have heard that that stuff is jam-packed with vitamins, though.

MarkMark Goodman, 53
Since working as one of MTV’s original VJs, Mark has worked as a music supervisor on the hit show Desperate Housewives. He also had brief roles on The Practice and Parker Lewis Can’t Lose. Although he’s trimmed his signature locks, you can listen to Mark celebrate the big-hair decade on Sirius Satellite Radio’s Classic Rewind, The Spectrum and Big ’80s.

My girlfriend got me concert tickets to see my favorite artist, but I’m dumping her. Should I wait until after the concert to do it?
If it’s a situation where it’s not working out, but things are manageable, then maybe you want to go.

I wouldn’t be using the person?
If the tickets are going to go to waste, why not use them? A lot of the time, a relationship kind of winds down gradually, and it’s just like, “Hey, we’re better off as friends.” You should just tell the person that that’s what’s happening and say you really want to go to the concert. You go, you have breakup sex and then you’re done.

I broke up with my boyfriend, but I realize that he still has my favorite CD. How do I get it back without looking like I’m desperate to see him?
“Give me my fucking CD!” It’s that simple. “That’s mine.” It’s like that Ben Folds song: You break up with me on my front porch, give me back my T-shirt, you bitch. Simple as that.

Does playing music during sex take away from the experience or enhance it?
Oh, big-time enhancement for me.

What’s the best song to have sex to?
The Miles Davis album Kind of Blue is a spectacular sex record. I play that. There’s nothing I like more than when my girlfriend and I can spend some time without the kids — we do the candles, the music, the wine. There’s a great song by a guy named Amos Lee, a Philadelphia artist, called “Arms of a Woman.” That’s my chill tape. That’s for slow, sweet, sexy stuff.

Would you ever go on a dating show like Next or Room Raiders?
I’m not single, but they don’t interest me to watch. I would do something like I’m a Celebrity . . . Get Me Out of Here! That would be fun just for the experience. But the dating shows are just so fake. Reality TV is just the furthest thing from reality.

Who’s the sexiest artist on MTV right now?
I think Christina Aguilera is unbelievably talented in that wonderful, slutty kind of way.

She has a new look. Does that work for you?
It does actually. I don’t like when girls look like they need to shower. It’s like Madonna back in the day. Her first and second records, she looked like she needed to shower. She was not doing it for me then.


My boyfriend wants me to swallow when I give him head, but I hate doing it. Do I suck it up or refuse?
I think its something that you should probably suck up and do once in a while. I mean, I can’t really think of anything that I wouldn’t like to do, but if it was something that made my girlfriend happy then that in and of itself would get me hot.

What’s the best playlist for a bad breakup?
I actually gave one to my daughter. It was about trying to make her feel strong and empowered instead of broken-hearted. “It’s Not Right, But It’s Okay” by Whitney Houston, a few songs by Los Umbrellos like “Easy Come, Easy Go,” and “One Step Up” by Bruce Springsteen.

My roommate and his partner are really loud when they have sex. I can’t help but listen in. Actually, I kind of get off on it. Is that weird? Should I talk to my roommate about it?
Confront the roommate, but not during. Is it weird? It’s like watching porn. I haven’t had the experience of getting off on hearing my roommate having wild sex. I don’t know that it would do it for me. I don’t think there’s anything weird about it if they’re two consenting adults.

Somebody just told me a story the other day about David Byrne. Some girl was going out with him in the ’80s, and she woke up in the middle of the night and he was about to shit on her. Now that’s weird. I don’t go for that. That’s pathetic and beyond the pale.

What about joining your roommate?
I wouldn’t do that and here’s why: I’ve had the experience. I’ve been in multiple-person experiences and it’s really not that much fun.

So its better just one on one?
Yeah. Just like George Michael says.

julieDowntown Julie Brown, 43
In the late ’80s, MTV imported Downtown Julie Brown from the U.K. to host Club MTV, a show that featured a lineup of contemporary dance hits and the catchphrase, “Wubba, wubba, wubba.” Over the years, she’s made appearances in film and TV, including roles on Walker, Texas Ranger, The Weird Al Show and Hey Arnold! She currently resides in Los Angeles with her husband and daughter.

What’s the best playlist for a bad breakup?
The top of the list has got to be Mariah.

Old or new?
I think any Mariah. Mariah Carey if you want to wallow in self pity, Barry White if you just kind of want to enjoy the breakup a little bit. Put a little Barry White on and Marvin Gaye, then top it off with some Aerosmith, because that’ll make you feel better. By the time you finish Barry White and your first bottle of wine, you’ll be ready for Aerosmith.

My girlfriend got me concert tickets to see my favorite artist, but I’m dumping her. Should I wait until after the concert to do it?
Break up with her — she should take someone else. If you really want to go to the concert, you’ll find a way of going.

Who are the sexiest artists on MTV right now?
Justin Timberlake and the Pussycat Dolls.

What’s the best song to have sex to?
There’s a wide range of music to make love to, anything from Dean Martin’s “Italian Love Songs” to really cool stuff like Guns N’ Roses. It depends on what mood you’re in. Sometimes it’s good to bump away to hard rock.


Recently, my boyfriend lost interest in having sex. Does this mean he’s cheating?
No. If someone’s not interested in having sex, that’s a tell-tale sign to get back to basics, and a sign that one person needs a bit more attention. Buy their favorite chocolate for them to cheer them up. Don’t wait for birthdays and Christmas.

The person I’m dating is a complete asshole, but the sex is great. What do I do?
Absolutely do not stay in the relationship. If the sex is great, whoever’s in the relationship is a good sex partner, so they’ll probably end up having good sex in their next relationship too.

My boyfriend wants me to swallow when I give him head, but I hate doing it. Do I suck it up or refuse?
Tell him to go take a hike. Tell him to swallow it himself. Men don’t understand.

So there’s no compromising at all?
Absolutely not. I think gagging is totally unsexy.

My roommate and his partner are really loud when they have sex. I can’t help but listen in. Actually, I kind of get off on it. What should I do?
Knock on the door and ask if you can join in. Say, “Oh I’m sorry, I thought you called my name too.”  

Interviews by Alexa Scordato. Sex Advice From… appears on Thursdays. Have questions for the general public? Send them to sexadvicefrom@nerve.com.

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©2006 Alexa Scordata & Nerve.com, Inc.