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Sex Advice From Freegans
Q: Does a potential romantic partner of yours have to be a freegan? A: No, but they have to be down with eating food from the trash.
By Amanda Green
What's the best reason to date a freegan?
Most freegans are both resourceful and adventurous. They have an ability to adapt and find the good in situations that are otherwise just a dump.
How can I pick up a freegan?
Try cruising your local dumpsters and alleyways. Stop shopping in stores and start checking out the local anti-capitalist scene where you live. Frequently, anarchists and other radicals are freegans, or they know some.
Does a potential romantic partner of yours have to be a freegan?
My potential romantic partners have to be vegan or freegan or really tolerant of the freegan/vegan lifestyle. Anyone who gets grossed out at the idea of eating trash or making out in a dumpster will probably never be my primary partner.
What's your idea of the perfect freegan date?
The perfect freegan date would be a combination of scavenging and then enjoying the spoils of the scavenge. Ideally, we’d would have a bike with a bike trailer or a tandem bike to take dumpstering. When we’d get to the dumpster, it would be full of smoothies and vegan sausage and pasta. That would get us hot. After some hot making out on a pile of tortilla chips in the dumpster, we’d have hot, sweaty, nasty sex.
If "the dumpster diver" was a sex position, how would that position work?
If the dumpster diver was a sex position, it would involve the person being penetrated while bent over and out of the dumpster door. The person doing the penetrating (note that gender has nothing to do with these roles, folks — strap-ons are awesome) is inside the dumpster and fucks the other person from behind. It's a hot position, because the dumpster opening gives both people the leverage they need to get their pleasure how they want it.
My new boyfriend recently asked me to share my email password. When I told him I didn't think it was necessary, he said I either don't trust him or I'm trying to hide something. It's neither of those reasons! What should I do? Is it normal for couples to share passwords?
Your new boyfriend is trying to manipulate you into feeling guilt over something totally reasonable. It’s not normal for couples to share passwords, and it’s not okay that he’s trying to convince you to reveal that private information. I would be highly suspicious of this person. Especially if he’s a new boyfriend. I would break up with him.
I've gone on a few dates with this girl, and I really see the possibility of a relationship. My only concern is that I haven't told her I'm bisexual and that I've mostly been with guys before. How do I tell her without upsetting her or even worse, making her think I should just be with a dude?
The best way to communicate is simply to communicate. Let her know at some private time that you are bisexual and have mostly been with guys. She has a right to know, and you have a right to date someone who is okay with that. Better to cut your losses now than waste time on an unhealthy relationship that will fall apart down the line.
I'm really attracted to one of my co-workers. We recently got drunk at a work event and hooked up. I didn't know he was seeing someone else — at the same company. I'm pretty sure his other work hookup knows or suspects something. What's the least awkward way to clear the air?
I would talk to the person you hooked up with. Let him know that you did not know he was involved with someone else, and that you would not have hooked up with him had you known. If he seems upset and apologetic, I would leave it at that. If he is being a jerk and not telling his partner because he wants to get away with it, I would go and tell his partner so she understands the situation. The main problem with cheating is that it exposes people to the risk of STDs without their consent. Because of situations like these, I’m a huge proponent of polyamory and good communication.
I'm about to enter a long-distance relationship — my girlfriend's moving away in two weeks. Do you have any advice for keeping the love alive from opposite coasts?
Polyamory. Don't try to be monogamous long distance. It rarely, if ever, works.