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Sex Advice From Gingers

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Sex Advice From Gingers

meghan

Meghan, 25

I’ve sometimes had trouble getting women to look past my red hair. It’s as if they find it exotic. How can I get them to look past my hair?
Look, you’re a redhead. Being fetishized comes with the territory. If someone thinks you’re interesting, good for them. The only way for you to get them to look past your hair is for YOU to look past your hair. If you only think of yourself as a firecrotch, all you’ll ever be is a firecrotch.

What’s the best way to pick up a ginger?
Say, “Oooh baby, you must always be on fire. I’ve always been into redheads. So… does the carpet match the drapes?” Oh wait, I meant never say any of that.

Does the carpet match the drapes?
Are you serious right now?

My girlfriend wants me to stop smoking pot. I obviously care more about her than I do a plant but I’m stuck on the principle of the matter. She didn’t even know that I smoke until I told her. What should I do?
Why does she want you to stop? Find out why she’s so against it. If it’s because her brother died in a weed-related accident — do those exist? — maybe she has a point and you should stop being an asshole about it. If she just doesn’t like the “idea” of pot, maybe you should dump her. Who doesn’t like the idea of pot?

What is one thing that is always a deal-breaker in the bedroom?
Disrespect. You only get to call me a dirty slut if I say it’s okay. “Disrespect” includes trying to skull fuck me. I had to get up and leave once.

My boyfriend and I are both currently living back at home so our options are limited. Do you have any advice about getting comfortable in a car or the woods?
Forget the car, do it on a blanket under the moonlight. Seriously, as long as it’s secluded enough, it’s so much hotter. Bring two blankets in case she’s shy.

My boyfriend  wants to invite a guy into the bedroom to jerk off while we have sex. I’m not sold. How can I make myself more comfortable with the idea?
Are you okay with this? If you don’t want to do this, you don’t have to. And shouldn’t. Talk to your boyfriend about it. Make a list of what you would need in the situation and tell him. If he cares about you and really wants to make it happen, he’ll help a girl out.

Miss Information: My boyfriend’s ex is our new roomie – how can I deal with my jealousy?
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Sex Advice From Gingers

emily

Emily, 24

I’ve sometimes had trouble getting women to look past my red hair. It’s as if they find it exotic. How can I get them to look past my hair?
Roll with it. I keep hearing that redheads are becoming extinct. Tell girls that while they may not be able to save polar bears, they can save gingers.

What has being a ginger taught you about dating?
Don’t live in England; they’re not into it across the pond. All I have to say is: the American Revolution. Suck it.

Does the carpet match the drapes?
Yeah, and they look great together.

I have this recurring sexual fantasy involving bus drivers. It’s not the easiest desire to fulfill. What should I do?
I took the liberty of consulting the Internet to answer this query. The MTA currently employs 4,200 full- and part-time drivers. It seems impossible that you couldn’t find a bus driver who would do you.

My girlfriend wants me to stop smoking pot. I obviously care more about her than I do a plant, but I’m stuck on the principle of the matter. She didn’t even know that I smoke until I told her. What should I do?
Your girlfriend wants you to stop doing something she didn’t know you did to begin with? Chick sucks. It’s not heroin. Continue getting stoned (heady brah), and go to some Phish shows.

My boyfriend and I are both currently living back at home, so our options are limited. Do you have any advice about getting comfortable in a car or the woods?
Big cars and thick blankets my friend. Only way to go.

My boyfriend wants to invite a guy into the bedroom to jerk off while we have sex. I’m not sold. How can I make myself more comfortable with the idea?
Quit being such a prude. That is the picture of normalcy.

Miss Information: My boyfriend’s ex is our new roomie – how can I deal with my jealousy?
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Sex Advice From Gingers

colin

Colin, 23

What’s the best way to pick up a ginger?
Ask them if you can count their freckles.

What has being a ginger taught you about dating?
You don’t need to worry about figuring out how you are going to start a conversation with women, because you’re a walking ice breaker.

I have this recurring sexual fantasy involving bus drivers. It’s not the easiest desire to fulfill. What should I do?
Easy: start hanging around Penn Station. You’re bound to run in to a Greyhound employee.

My boyfriend and I are both currently living back at home, so our options are limited. Do you have any advice about getting comfortable in a car or the woods?
Fast-food bathrooms are key.

My boyfriend wants to invite a guy into the bedroom to jerk off while we have sex. I’m not sold. How can I make myself more comfortable with the idea?
If finding a new boyfriend is out of the question, then I guess the only thing to do is give the third party a mask of Robert Pattinson. What person doesn’t want to see him masturbate?

Miss Information: My boyfriend’s ex is our new roomie – how can I deal with my jealousy?
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