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Sex Advice From Girls With Underarm Hair
Q: What's the sexiest thing about a girl who doesn't shave? A: Natural beauty.
By Kelly Bourdet
A previous installment of this feature, Sex Advice From Yoga Teachers, featured a young lady with visible, unshaven underarms. We were amazed by the number of comments on her underarms — ranging from support and admiration to disgust. So we decided to give women with unshaven underarms their own feature to tell us why they decided to forgo shaving and to dispense some sex advice of their own. Enjoy.
What's the sexiest thing about a girl who doesn't shave?
Natural beauty. I'm not someone who spends a lot of time trying to tame and perfume. I don't like to take away from who I am.
What are your reasons for not shaving?
The first time I had a crush on someone who was the same gender as me, it was on a woman who didn't shave her legs. I was so fascinated by it; I couldn't put my finger on why, but eventually I followed suit and then came out. Not shaving became a signifier of being gay. I lived in a region where there was a particular look for a gay person. So I kind of stuck with it for a while. After few years I realized that I really liked shaving my legs, but I kept my armpit hair because, it turns out, it's quite badass armpit hair. It's just a personal choice.
What do you think that choice says about you?
Some people shave their armpits and deodorize a lot. That takes away from one very sexual element: pheromones. For instance, I ride a bike. I shower and I take care of my hygiene, but I still ride a bike so I'm going to sweat. The pheromones are there. People will smell that. And I think that's how I'm going to know whom I'm most sexually compatible with. I don't like it when people's natural scent is completely suppressed. I mean, there's nothing sexy about someone with really bad body odor, but someone who is overly cologned and therefore can't attach himself or herself to their own body scent might not be the best sexual partner either. People don't smell like flowers and roses all the time.
My boyfriend has a higher sex drive than I do. He never pressures me into having sex when I don't want to, but on nights when we don't get busy he has taken to jerking off in bed with me while I'm falling asleep. I've never experienced this before; is it normal?
I think it's completely normal. If I'm in the mood, and my partner's not, or vice versa, then we're fine with watching the other masturbate. Sometimes, it even ends up turning the other one on and it might aid a little bit. But if it's happening to the point of disrupting your sleep patterns, then that's more of a problem.
I'm a feminist but I've realized that I like being called a slut and whore while I'm having sex with my boyfriend. I feel personally conflicted about this. Am I being a bad feminist by engaging in these scenes or should I not think about it so much?
I think that we tend to work out issues from our outside lives in the bedroom. Maybe acting out a submissive role in bed is helping you clarify how you feel about it in life. Maybe it signifies that you want to be in control in your life, but that it's okay to let go of power sometimes. For me, that's what it is. In real life I don't want to be dominated or constrained; I would never let that happen. But if you're just playing this role in bed, then maybe that helps you explore that side of yourself.
Do open relationships ever work?
I'm in an open relationship, so I hope so! It's the most challenging kind of relationship — way more challenging than monogamy — if you're doing it the right way. You have to make sure you have enough time with yourself. If you spend a lot of time with one partner and then you're dating a few other people and working full time, then it's hard to have time for yourself. It's hard to have time for your friends. Many times what happens is one of those partners is getting slighted and not feeling like they're getting enough attention. In theory it seems like it would be really laid back, but it's not always all it's cracked up to be.
I got drunk and cheated on my fiancé back when we were first together. It's been years and I've never cheated again, but I've never told him. It's always in the back of my mind. Do I have a moral obligation to tell him before we get married?
No. I don't think so. It seems like you're really just trying to get it off your chest as opposed to helping him. Maybe wanting to bring it up is indicative of wanting to sabotage the relationship. It's been years, and it was one time, so I wouldn't tell him. If you tell him, then you might find that he's done similar things. But that's opening up a can of worms.