Sex Advice From Girls With Underarm Hair

Q: What's the sexiest thing about a girl who doesn't shave? A: Natural beauty.

By Kelly Bourdet

A previous installment of this feature, Sex Advice From Yoga Teachers, featured a young lady with visible, unshaven underarms. We were amazed by the number of comments on her underarms — ranging from support and admiration to disgust.  So we decided to give women with unshaven underarms their own feature to tell us why they decided to forgo shaving and to dispense some sex advice of their own. Enjoy.

Dana, 27

What's the sexiest thing about a girl who doesn't shave?
Natural beauty. I'm not someone who spends a lot of time trying to tame and perfume. I don't like to take away from who I am.

What are your reasons for not shaving?
The first time I had a crush on someone who was the same gender as me, it was on a woman who didn't shave her legs. I was so fascinated by it; I couldn't put my finger on why, but eventually I followed suit and then came out. Not shaving became a signifier of being gay. I lived in a region where there was a particular look for a gay person. So I kind of stuck with it for a while. After few years I realized that I really liked shaving my legs, but I kept my armpit hair because, it turns out, it's quite badass armpit hair. It's just a personal choice.

What do you think that choice says about you? 
Some people shave their armpits and deodorize a lot. That takes away from one very sexual element: pheromones. For instance, I ride a bike. I shower and I take care of my hygiene, but I still ride a bike so I'm going to sweat. The pheromones are there. People will smell that. And I think that's how I'm going to know whom I'm most sexually compatible with. I don't like it when people's natural scent is completely suppressed. I mean, there's nothing sexy about someone with really bad body odor, but someone who is overly cologned and therefore can't attach himself or herself to their own body scent might not be the best sexual partner either. People don't smell like flowers and roses all the time.

My boyfriend has a higher sex drive than I do. He never pressures me into having sex when I don't want to, but on nights when we don't get busy he has taken to jerking off in bed with me while I'm falling asleep. I've never experienced this before; is it normal?
I think it's completely normal. If I'm in the mood, and my partner's not, or vice versa, then we're fine with watching the other masturbate. Sometimes, it even ends up turning the other one on and it might aid a little bit. But if it's happening to the point of disrupting your sleep patterns, then that's more of a problem. 

I'm a feminist but I've realized that I like being called a slut and whore while I'm having sex with my boyfriend. I feel personally conflicted about this. Am I being a bad feminist by engaging in these scenes or should I not think about it so much?
I think that we tend to work out issues from our outside lives in the bedroom. Maybe acting out a submissive role in bed is helping you clarify how you feel about it in life. Maybe it signifies that you want to be in control in your life, but that it's okay to let go of power sometimes. For me, that's what it is. In real life I don't want to be dominated or constrained; I would never let that happen. But if you're just playing this role in bed, then maybe that helps you explore that side of yourself.

Do open relationships ever work?
I'm in an open relationship, so I hope so! It's the most challenging kind of relationship — way more challenging than monogamy — if you're doing it the right way. You have to make sure you have enough time with yourself. If you spend a lot of time with one partner and then you're dating a few other people and working full time, then it's hard to have time for yourself. It's hard to have time for your friends. Many times what happens is one of those partners is getting slighted and not feeling like they're getting enough attention. In theory it seems like it would be really laid back, but it's not always all it's cracked up to be.

I got drunk and cheated on my fiancé back when we were first together. It's been years and I've never cheated again, but I've never told him. It's always in the back of my mind. Do I have a moral obligation to tell him before we get married?
No. I don't think so. It seems like you're really just trying to get it off your chest as opposed to helping him. Maybe wanting to bring it up is indicative of wanting to sabotage the relationship. It's been years, and it was one time, so I wouldn't tell him. If you tell him, then you might find that he's done similar things. But that's opening up a can of worms.

Commentarium (128 Comments)

Apr 06 11 - 12:11am
Secret Character

Why do you guys do this. c'mon...

Apr 06 11 - 12:12am
Secret Character

the NERVE!

Apr 06 11 - 11:21pm
Scott

*CitizenKaneapplause.gif*

Apr 06 11 - 2:20am
jmh

This stinks

Apr 06 11 - 2:26am
KCN

Jesus, Nikki is a bitch. Heaven forbid anyone be attracted to something that you don't deem acceptable.

Apr 06 11 - 9:21am
gdanon

Nikki does seem extremely intolerant. The other two seemed pretty level headed. I would buy each a beer.

Apr 06 11 - 2:02pm
no way

Nikki is the truest, most genuine person interviewed in a while. No ifs, ands, or buts: she has her opinions and levels it straight at ya. Not bitchy at all, but matter-of-fact.

Apr 06 11 - 2:42pm
Haysoos

Her viewpoint is incredibly similar in theory to the people she is demonizing for being judgemental. Or in other words, by being judgemental about the guy who got freaked out by the girl cutting all her hair off, she is acting exactly like him.

Apr 06 11 - 3:34pm
kaiiiley

yet nikki's response regarding the girlfriend's PMS was definitely the most reasonable. as a female who gets ridiculously cranky while PMS-ing, i think nikki answered incredibly well when answering a somewhat tricky/touchy question and managed to consider the feelings of both men and women in a PMS-stricken relationship. means i should be nicer to my boyfriend when PMSing i guess :)

Apr 06 11 - 4:22pm
jr

Haysoos, do you know what a false equivalency is?

May 03 11 - 11:27pm
LT

Sorry haters, I thought Nikki was awesome. And very beautiful. Plus the guy who's thinking about dumping the woman who cut her hair IS a douche. There's not much a guy that I really like could do to himself phyiscally that would make me dump him.

May 11 11 - 8:28pm
JH

exactly jr! Haysoos... some people are bigots and some people critique bigots. However, that doesn't make their opinions equally valid.

Nov 07 11 - 9:01pm
V

Nikki was the only one who made any sense to me. Men who can't date women whose appearances change are in for a world of hurt as their partners age. Nikki you rule!

Apr 06 11 - 7:46am
bk

I thought these girls were pretty cool, actually.

Apr 06 11 - 9:25am
Funion

I'm glad that as a gay man I don't have to deal with this issue.

Apr 06 11 - 12:59pm
jr

Yeah, but gay men have some insane grooming habits too.

Apr 06 11 - 12:59pm
jr

*some* gay men.

Apr 07 11 - 9:28am
mm

Well, I'm a straight man, and I don't really deal with this issue.

Apr 06 11 - 9:51am
Oh Boy

God, these women are so hot, the hottest you've ever interviewed

Apr 06 11 - 10:55am
KellyBourdet

Agreed.

Apr 06 11 - 12:11pm
ZW

AGl233D

Apr 06 11 - 7:44pm
.....

truth

Apr 06 11 - 10:36am
JRB

They were very harsh on the dude who lost his attractiveness to the girl who cut her hair short. Some people really like long hair. Imagine if the person who asked the question was female and her male partner dramatically changed something she liked about his appearance.

Apr 06 11 - 2:00pm
jr

That still doesn't change the fact that only an enormous douche would dump someone over a hair cut.

Apr 06 11 - 2:39pm
Haysoos

Why? If you aren't attracted to a person then whats the point? Hes just supposed to lie when he says she looks good or tell her he finds her less attractive than barbara bush? Wheres the win? Probably in both of them going seperate ways and finding someone they gel with better.

Everyone finds different things important in meeting someone. And then we stupidly judge each other for whatever those things are if we don't agree with them, and act like they should change instead of simply letting it go and finding someone you DO see eye to eye with without ever having to be a jerk and try to make the other person change.

There are many ways to be shallow, and judging someone for what they find attractive is one of the biggest.

Apr 06 11 - 4:12pm
jr

So judging someone for being shallow is shallow. Makes a lot of sense, Haysoos. Let's hope you don't get dumped for getting a haircut someday.

Apr 06 11 - 4:16pm
jr

Also: You don't have to lie to someone if you don't like how they changed their look. Besides, a haircut isn't permanent.

Apr 06 11 - 6:56pm
LAP

jr: If they literally just started dating (for instance, he's only seen her 1-3 times), and she shows up with a crappy haircut, I don't think it's "shallow" to want out. If she had showed up to the first date with the short haircut, then he probably wouldn't have asked for a second one.

Why is it wrong to have likes/dislikes in looks? I am confused about your logic; why is he a douche for not being attracted to her, sexually, at least, because of her new haircut? I used to have long hair, and when I cut it, I got a lot more dates--with women who specifically said they just didn't dig the long hair (admittedly, after the fact). Douches all around? Or just exhibiting personal tastes?

Apr 06 11 - 7:11pm
src

Next up on Nerve… Sex Advice from Girls with Military Haircuts.

Apr 06 11 - 7:42pm
jr

LAP, the way I see it, a haircut is extremely superficial and temporary. If you're really attracted to someone, it shouldn't matter, especially if it's not permanent. He's not a douche for not liking the new haircut and there's nothing wrong with having preferences. But dumping someone over it? Come on, it grows back! Let me ask you this: If you started growing your hair out and some girl you were dating just dumped you out of the blue when it got too long without even saying anything about it to you, how would you feel about that?

Apr 06 11 - 8:58pm
LAP

It takes months and months to grow out hair and minutes to completely remove it. In that sense, my partner could inform me - gradually - that the choice I was making was less than desirable to her. I just can't imagine that if the hair was that big of a deal breaker for her, then she'd just wait and wait and then quit abruptly. If I continued to grow it, despite her protestations, and she ends up leaving me, is she a douche? The difference here is she did it abruptly, probably well before his feelings had reached a point where the "relationship" could weather this sort of thing. But if I've been with a woman for 2 weeks and she does something I find unappealing (and it's a large enough deal to me), then I am out. Why stick with someone in the early days if it doesn't go pretty much perfectly? I live in a large city with literally 1000s of options available to me (even with long hair!). I'm not going to put up with anything I don't want to. And I don't think it's douchey or immature to feel that way - it's just reality.

Apr 06 11 - 9:23pm
jr

Well, I don't think many douches are self aware of their status. I'm not calling you one though. :) Like I said early, there's nothing wrong with having preferences...but expecting perfection might be a bit picky. If my girlfriend shaved her head tomorrow, she'd still be super hot. I'd get a huge laugh out of it too, but hey, it's her head. It's not like someone running out and getting a swastika tattooed on their forehead.

Apr 07 11 - 2:13pm
Bif Henderson

Straight men are attracted to a woman's femininity. Most men find masculine traits such as body hair, guy looking hair etc. a turn off.

Apr 07 11 - 4:01pm
AT

Bif, bio 101 for you buddy: most women have body hair. We start growing it, like men, when we hit puberty. Perhaps you're trying to tell us that straight men are attracted to pre-pubescent children? Cause that's just wrong.

Apr 07 11 - 4:06pm
jr

Hey Bif, considering shaved pits have been around for a nanosecond in human history, I doubt anyone doubted femininity in their partners in the past 100,000 years. I do know one thing: Shaving pits, legs, genitals, etc. can make a woman look prepubescent. We all have preferences, but sometimes it's interesting to stop and ask why.

Apr 07 11 - 9:44pm
imp

Anyway, about the hair, I have definitely been attracted to or repulsed by a person's hair. If someone with really beautiful hair cut it to reveal a really funny-looking head, and had a really crappy cut, it can totally be a hot-to-not situation. I think the women in the article were reacting to the phrasing of the question, which hints at the idea that female beauty/attractiveness requires long hair. They could have been more levelheaded, and realized that this was not automatically a dis on less conventional beauty standards.

Apr 06 11 - 11:33am
MRAGH

I didn't see anything bitchy about any of Nikki's answers. She's by far the cutest of the three, I wish I could see her pits. (I love hairy pussy and pits, not so into leg hair tho.)

Apr 06 11 - 12:12pm
ZW

The open relationship answer is a little bit "bitchy." I don't think that's correct at all.

Apr 06 11 - 1:00pm
jr

I thought it was hilarious.

May 03 11 - 11:31pm
LT

Me too, JR. And I don't think Nikki is a bitch, I think she's speaking her truth and scared little whiny babies can't handle that.

Apr 06 11 - 2:04pm
wow

Worst article ever. I wish I could have those minutes back so I could spend them doing something else other than reading this feminist bs.

Apr 06 11 - 2:29pm
LL

hahahahahahahahahaha "feminist bs?" You're a douche.

Apr 07 11 - 6:37pm
schnooo

No, that's pretty accurate lol. Nikki sounds like a bitch--she's certainly neither "cool" nor "tolerant" like she seems to think. oh, and >inb4wymynhater, btw--I'm a chick. Also, I shave my pits because it's more hygienic than letting it grow into a festering jungle that clogs up with sweat all the time. I must just be a stinky no-fun conservative. Oh well... I guess I'll just have to get used to the fact that I'll never be as cool or as confident as these wonderful women. Second chick gets major points for the bone, though.

Apr 07 11 - 7:10pm
Thom

Body hair shaving is an aesthetic choice, not a hygienic one. Shaving your armpits may dull your body odor, but it doesn't contribute to your overall health the way, say, brushing your teeth or washing your hands does.

And I don't understand what your gender has to do with beating people who may call you a wymynhater to the quick. Women can hate other women, and judging from the defensiveness of your words, it sounds like you have issues of your own to work out.

Apr 08 11 - 11:54am
James

Well said Thom. Schnooo sounds exactly like me (also a girl) in high school when I openly identified as misogynist. None of these girls were saying armpit hair is the only choice for all respectable women, they were just explaining what they personally like about it, so chill schnooo. Also all of these girls are totally hot, hair or no hair.

Apr 06 11 - 2:17pm
P. Floyd

I wonder if it is only coincidence that some of these ladies seem like they have never beenn in a stable, perhaps marriage-bound type of serious relationship. When does "feminist" cross the line into "bitchiness"? Of course, I mostly refer to "Nikki" when make these statements. She is more what she seems to accuse men of being... "uptight" and a "dickwad"... than what she seems to think she is... "cool" and "tolerant".

Apr 07 11 - 4:02pm
AT

yes, because being in a marriage-bound relationship is reaching the pinnacle of existence, especially for women!
(not)

Apr 06 11 - 2:32pm
Haysoos

Everything with all 3 seemed fine except the response to the guy who lost interest in a girl when she cut her hair military short. All three responses said that he was an asshole for his feelings, but that incredibly unfair. Saying that physical attraction shouldn't matter is the exact same as saying physical attraction is the only thing that matters; they are the extremes of the subject, both intolerant and ignorant. Even these three girls I'm sure would not approach certain people because of their looks, even if its because the person appears to care to much about their looks, its STILL being judgemental and shallow, its just the opposite way of doing it. Mostly, psychologically speaking, its a reaction to the way they have been treated; "you reject me, well I reject YOU!". If they want people to not be shitty to them for their choices, then they have to stop being shitty to other people. On the topic of the guys question, he should end it and be straight forward about how he feels, obviously him and this girl aren't right for each other simply because he is looking for an out. It happens, dating is not "safe". Just because you see someone a few times doesn't mean suddenly you are responsible for how they feel. Dont get me wrong, I've always been scrawny and nerdy, girls and women have been quite brutal in rejecting me and I felt bad. But thats life, you hot, or you miss and swing again. Holding it against someone because they weren't feeling the chemistry is just childish. As it pertains to the guy, what if he had a militant aunt that wore short hair and ruined parts of his childhood. You never know where this type of thing comes from and just writing of any situation like this as the guy being shallow is, well, just as shallow.

Apr 06 11 - 2:55pm
Dale

I agree. I thought the response: "Your an idiot." was completely ignorant and unwarranted. Saying someone's physical appearance shouldn't matter whatsoever in a relationship is naive. I think a statement like that is more self-serving than anything.. "Oh well I don't EVER judge anyone on how they look, I'm a saint"... YEAH RIGHT!!! It was kinda funny though. What experience do these women have that qualifies them to give relationship advice? Or are they just normal people giving their views?

Apr 06 11 - 4:20pm
jr

What experience do you have that qualifies you to speak your opinion about anything? Is it quoting people for things they never said?

Apr 07 11 - 8:32am
Dale

Ok... Obviously you didn't understand what I was trying to say with that quote that I made up. If I had put i.e. before the quote would that have been clearer?? I thought it was pretty straightforward but I guess not. Also, if you look at the title of this article the first two words are "Sex Advice".. Advice usually comes from someone who has wisdom from experience which allows them to give advice or suggestions that would be helpful or insightful. OPINIONS are different than ADVICE get it? Maybe one day keep trying buddy.

Apr 07 11 - 4:01pm
jr

Oh, I understood what you were doing. Maybe you didn't catch my sarcasm. My point is, never assume someone is qualified or unqualified. By the way, advice without opinion doesn't exist.

Apr 07 11 - 4:31pm
TheGeeWhiz

I asked my friends Merriam and Webster. The told me the basic origins of the word advice:

"Middle English avis, advis view, opinion, from Anglo-French, from the Old French phrase ce m'est a vis that appears to me, part translation of Latin mihi visum est it seemed so to me, I decided. First Known Use: 14th century"

I hope I uses my quotations correctly :-) I am no longer ALA or MLA literate.

Point being, advice and opinion are rooted in the same field of synonymous lingual growth. Deal with it Dale.

Apr 06 11 - 4:28pm
A Guy

I like how all of them said no about the cheating, What a great way to start a marriage, makes me wonder why the divorce rate is about 50%

Apr 06 11 - 5:11pm
nyny

Most of those questions were way longer than they answers... edit yourself much, Nerve?

Apr 06 11 - 5:14pm
nyny

Of course I'd have a typo in that...

Apr 08 11 - 8:14pm
prw

but hey, you acknowledged it

Apr 06 11 - 5:11pm
why..

..do the girls who don't like to shave always the ones on bikes?!?!?!

Apr 07 11 - 9:48pm
imp

Are you asking if girls who don't shave ride bikes?

Apr 06 11 - 6:30pm
cs

thanks nerve! you done good this time :D

Apr 06 11 - 6:44pm
TheGeeWhiz

One question;
I have always been attracted to pretty women who are natural; no make up, no shaving, no perfume/deodorant, no fancy hair. Unfortunately I have a very difficult time meeting one, and when I do meet one, she usually turns out to be gay. Any suggestions on what I can do or where I can go to increase my odds?

Thanks!

Apr 06 11 - 7:43pm
jr

Two words for you: Burning Man.

Apr 06 11 - 8:26pm
JT

Move to my town and date me. Problem solved! You're welcome.

Apr 06 11 - 9:14pm
..well..

i have one-- GET OUT OF NEW YORK.

but if that's not the problem.. go to vegetarian restaurants and other hippy dippy things.... composting tutorials... herbal stores.. etc etc. i think the prettiest always end up there :)

Apr 07 11 - 1:43am
TheGeeWhiz

Where is your town JT?

Apr 07 11 - 2:50am
.....

yea seriously, go to a vegan restaurant or disco buiscuts/bassnectar/pretty lights/burning man festival/show....anywhere there is dubstep really. I know b/c I have a mean streak of attracting & dating girls who sometimes don't take a showers or shave her legs/armpits

Apr 07 11 - 4:42pm
TheGeeWhiz

Hasn't Burning Man become really expensive to do? That is what my friends who go have told me. I would prefer to just bone out, go to Mexico and thumb my way down the coast.

I had never listened to Bassnectar until now, I will try again but they just did not stimulate my auditory pleasure centers. The only techno-ish music that has ever enraptured my is Shpongle. If you haven't listened to Shpongle, go check them out!

I go to a vegan place occasionally but its a Hare Krishna hot spot and as much as I love dancing with tambourines that scene just is not for me.

Maybe I just need to stop looking and let her find me.....

Apr 07 11 - 5:29pm
jr

I've never paid to go to BM, but haven't been there in 11 years. Some v egan women tend to be on the hairy side though...but then you'd have to give up bacon. Mmmmmm. Bacon.

Apr 08 11 - 7:48pm
G

Activists - nearly all the activist women I know don't shave. And they're fucking amazing people, more's to the point.

Apr 06 11 - 6:55pm
Henry

Not at all an attractive trait, it seems almost passive agressive!

Apr 07 11 - 4:04pm
AT

Do you shave your armpits, Henry?

Apr 08 11 - 7:49pm
G

Yes, Henry, it's all about you.

Apr 06 11 - 7:49pm
Sare

Nikki seems to not understand what the question dealing with being called a slut or whore was about. Maybe Nerve should try and find interviewees with reading/aural comprehension skills next time. Jesus.

Apr 07 11 - 8:35pm
Lefty

oooh, maybe you don't understand her point, Sare, ever thought of that? Also, do you think it's worse to be a john or a whore? Don't you think it sure is convenient to continually pick on women's sexuality to abscond the horribleness that is male sexuality? (really, there will be no sluts without men willing to fuck anyone anywhere. There would be no prostitutes without men pretending they are unable to control their urges. etc. And yet, only the "sluts" and the "whores" get slammed for what truly seems to be a male sexuality problem.)

Apr 06 11 - 8:01pm
This....

....all seems so contrived. Oh the rebellious feminist....how edgy and cool you all are.

Apr 06 11 - 8:02pm
gangja

I agree. Hairy armpits on women? No thank you. What are they trying to prove? Seriously.

Apr 06 11 - 8:53pm
S

How is it more contrived to do less work?

Apr 07 11 - 1:51pm
KellyBourdet

Do you shave your armpits gangja? If not, is it a statement? Are you trying to "prove" something?

Apr 07 11 - 6:42pm
schnooo

Yeah... that's why I abhor the modern feminist movement with every fibre of my being. The stupid thing doesn't accomplish anything of notoriety; when it DOES accomplish anything, it's stupid, contrived crap about how "wymyn" are superior to men; it's spawned a horde of women who believe that they're entitled to men treating them however the hell they want while treating men like shit; and it's ALSO created yet another group for people to join to be "cool". How utterly retarded can you get?

Apr 07 11 - 7:46pm
AT

You sound like the reason the feminist movement was needed in the first place.

p.s. having imaginary girlfriends who treat you like shit does not count as having actual females in your life.

Apr 08 11 - 1:04pm
Thom

If they knew what the actual feminist movement stood for instead of what Rush Limbaugh or the Fox News Channel tells them it stands for, then they'd probably change their attitudes about it. Though that might be too much to hope for.

Apr 17 11 - 10:18pm
Jessica

You're awesome Thom =D

Apr 06 11 - 8:03pm
epiphany

Wow. If I applied the same kind of generalizations that these women apply to others, I would conclude that pretty much all women who don't shave their armpits are bitchy and judgmental. Fortunately I don't, so I'm just going to conclude that Nerve opted to include two particular women who don't shave who happen to be bitchy and judgmental about some things.

Apr 07 11 - 8:25pm
DumberThanThou

Seeing how much you lack critical thinking skills I'm amazed you are actually acquainted with the word "epiphany."

Apr 06 11 - 9:34pm
yum

I love bitchy, intolerant, rebellious feminists, just as much as I love sluts, whores, and body hair. Thanks, Nerve!
xo, a dirty separatist gender/queer.

Apr 07 11 - 12:21pm
ditto

:)

Apr 06 11 - 11:54pm
seriously?

What was the point of this article? Blind to the rest of the world, taken from the prospective of one person opinion about a social norm for one particular group in her local community.... wrothless

Apr 07 11 - 2:47am
.....

ummm yea...actually that was the point, except that it wasn't worthless, but an interesting read during my procrastination period

Apr 07 11 - 2:13am
seriously?

If you've cheated on your partner and haven't told them, and you still think of it years later, you should absolutely talk about it before you get married. To say it's been years and you haven't done it since is only valid if it has left your mind completely. If it opens up a "can of worms" and you are worried about your partner having done similar things, then you both have a lot to talk about. A relationship is only an agreement between partners, and if one of you is always thinking about how they broke the agreement unbeknownst to the other and is STILL thinking of this after engagement, then you are doing more to "sabotage the relationship" than you would have if you told your partner what happened, how you justified your actions, and reassessed your agreement together. This is not a "moral obligation," it's an interdependent relationship. Or it's not.

Apr 07 11 - 3:08am
Ansgar

While I think her comment about open relationships was pretty stupid, I really liked the comments Nikki had to say. She doesn't prance around giving polite answers, she says what she means, and in my opinion, for the most part, she's right.

It's pretty simple. If you completely lose interest in a "really awesome" chick just because she cuts her hair, then you are, in fact, a dickwad. If you're only interested in your long-term girlfriend when she teases her body into a form you find more suitable, you are also a dickwad. Women are not just the superficial appearances they put on according to what society demands of them. If you only like a girl when she looks a certain way, then you don't deserve a relationship with her.

Apr 07 11 - 3:21am
jr

Thank you.

Apr 07 11 - 8:53am
Matthew

My girlfriend doesn't turn into a bitch when she's on the rag. I still don't find pms an acceptable excuse for treating your partner like shit.

Apr 07 11 - 3:14pm
Same here

My girlfriend and now wife never flipped out on me due to pms. What's more, she mentioned that, in many cases, women grossly exaggerate the effects of pms to basically absolve them of emotional responsibility.

I'm sure it exerts some influence on a woman, but I think it's really shitty when someone thinks it's okay to act like a total bitch. People should be responsible for their behavior.

Apr 07 11 - 3:58pm
jr

Don't forget, it usually gets worse with age. Then you have menopause to look forward to!

Apr 07 11 - 5:27pm
nope

Or maybe -- and this is a pretty radical idea here, but hold on -- it affects different people in different ways?

Apr 08 11 - 12:03am
yikes

@nope, what a novel idea, who knew? Most women aren't looking for an excuse to treat people badly when they're on their period...Unfortunately, it's more like the whole PMS experience just makes you feel pretty uncomfortable and sick and for many, makes you more irritable and upset, so that you don't really notice that you're freaking out for no reason about something, or possibly just overreacting a little about something that would upset you anyways. Believe me, it's not something most women relish...it's usually embarrassing to let your emotions get away from you that much.

Apr 10 11 - 11:56pm
That's impossible

It affects EVERY SINGLE WOMAN THE SAME WAY. We all become CRAZY bitches unless you give me dark chocolate right now. (manipulation for chocolate? Naaahhhh!)

Apr 07 11 - 4:13pm
AT

This article inspired me to start growing my armpit hair. Seems like a sure way to keep off the woman-haterz.
(except, of course, for the ones who will feel the need to come on over and tell me what THEY really think about what I should do with MY body.)

Apr 07 11 - 9:58pm
imp

Actually, strangers who are not into or not familiar with the body hair thing have been pretty cool for the decade or so I've been not-shaving. Once someone was rude, but mostly people are just curious. Once a guy who was browsing near me in a store asked, in total honesty, whether my hairy legs are ever a problem with the guys I date, (correctly assuming that I'm straight.) It wasn't a come-on. It seemed like he was confronting the possibility of dating a woman with hairy legs for the very first time, I think I opened his mind a little bit. Anyway, the answer is no, nobody's ever seemed to mind.

Apr 08 11 - 12:44pm
AT

That's great! Still may have to replicate the experiment though.

Apr 07 11 - 5:14pm
Russo

Props to female bod hair. I got with a hippy chick some years back and she was quite the curate's egg when it came to grooming; glowing skin, accented eyes, nose stud, coarse dredds, pit hair, unshaven legs but a shaved pussy (for a limited time clad in the most endearingly ugly harlequin inspired panties). The body hair only served to accent what was truly feminine about her - her shape, movement, behaviour, smell. It was an erotic, elemental experience!

Apr 07 11 - 7:12pm
lrr

Nikki is mean but she is sexy, sexy, sexy. Please let's date, I'll let you bully me?

Apr 07 11 - 11:18pm
adam

Dana is really hot.

Liked Nikki's reply about PMS.

Apr 08 11 - 11:15am
grace

I've had shaved pits and not shaved pits. I prefer the unshaved ones because when my husband lightly brushes it with his fingers, it sends lovely shock waves through my body. I'm 47 and have mostly been unshaved since I was 18, except for the really hot summer months. And, non of the men I've been with (and before being married, I had quite a few relationships) have had any problem with it. And luckily, I grew up in the pre-shaved pussy era so I never ever did that!

Apr 02 12 - 4:32pm
Hairy

Good for you Grace.
All women should be proud to be women and not want to look like little girls.

Apr 08 11 - 4:15pm
C

I liked Sharon's advice. Personally i don't like having unshaved armpits because I feel cleaner when there isnt hair there. I like it on guys though...is that a double standard?

Apr 09 11 - 2:56pm
statingtheobvious

Yes, it's a double standard. Down with double standards based on sex/gender!

Apr 08 11 - 4:22pm
C

Also about the period thing.Not everyone has the same level of pain so everyone's reaction is obviously going to be different.that comment about exaggeration is obviously made by some who has gotten off quite lightly.it isnt just the pain though-hormones created by the body leading up to and during menstruation play havoc with our emotions.so yes we may get moody, may even make it seem like we need an exorcism but it isn't intentional

Apr 10 11 - 9:34pm
harfang

I've been out for 21 years now. I used to shave occasionally, but it's been at least 1o years since I last did. My legs are a non-issue; people think I DO shave them. But queer chicks around here (Minneapolis) usually do shave their pits now, although no one seems to think my pits are flat-out gross.

The reason I'm replying is to give an example of body-hair hygiene that does not involve shaving. I ~trim~ my armpit hair. (And yes, it's pretty annoying and tricky.) The thing is that unlike Dana, I do not have badass underarm hair. It's straggly, sad, and stick-straight, even after I shower. (My pubes are the same about a day after showering, which is why I trim THEM; that is more blatantly about hygiene.)

I started trimming my pits about 15 years ago. I used to wear sleeveless dresses and tanks a lot, and one day a picture of me with my dad and some others out to dinner chagrined me. I was behind my dad on his side of the table, leaning out to smile at the camera. By a cruel twist of fate, my left armpit was positioned directly behind my dad's chin in the photo, and my left pit hair made this horrid little curlicue that appeared to give my father a second goatee beneath his actual beard.

I hate shaving, partly because it makes me rashy, but more because I think it makes women look like we are trying desperately to stay young, in line with hetero cultural standards. For similar reasons, I find shaved pubic hair on other women, from full Brazilian to a decent-sized landing strip, a little creepy. Not that it'd be a deal-breaker or anything...

Apr 10 11 - 11:22pm
Jessica

All of these girls were adorable.

Myself, I prefer the whole "shaved legs, unshaven armpits" dichotomy. I like to keep everything trimmed, but I'm not a twelve-year-old girl and I don't want to look like one.

Apr 11 11 - 11:09am
even

this shit is it. i love it.

Apr 11 11 - 3:46pm
Kogo

Hey gentlemen: I invite you to do an experiment. Go to a porn site that specializes in hairy women (I suggest Hairy ATK). Notice anything? (Besides the obvious, I mean).

The women are all smiling.

Food for thought.

Apr 13 11 - 6:50pm
Marie

My husband likes to shave my pussy. Very erotic, lots of trust-iness, and I never feel like being groomed is a burden or obligation.

Apr 15 11 - 8:02pm
Uhnahn

For how progressive and open-minded a lot of you are making yourselves out to be, you're certainly quick to lash out at people who don't find hairy armpits on women attractive. There's nothing sexist about not finding a particular trait, style or practice attractive. No one is saying "this is BS, all women need to shave their armpits to appease me, for I am man. I have spoken, so it shall be, " so let's just drop this whole notion that there's sexism afoot. "I don't find women with hairy armpits attractive" is not the same thing as "no woman should ever have hairy armpits," and some of you need to realize that before you go criticizing other people's critical thinking or reading comprehension skills. To those of you flipping out about the guy who broke up with his new girlfriend because she chopped her hair off, I'm pretty confident that there are people out there who you would not date based solely on the fact that you were not physically attracted to them. Physical attraction is an undeniable factor in selecting a mate, pretending it doesn't matter won't change the biological facts. Would it have been better for him to stay with her despite not being attracted to her? I think we can all agree that it wouldn't be. If the attraction isn't there, then they just aren't right for each other, and it's best for both of them if they date other people who they're more compatible with (which is basically what Nikki said, except without her condescending, judgmental attitude).

That being said, I don't like body hair, on myself or on others. If I had the money, I would get laser hair removal on nearly everything but my head and face. It's not because I like the 'prepubescent look," and it's not because I want to oppress women (both stances seem to be strongly represented in the comments here). Maybe I just don't like the feel of coarse hair, or maybe I just like the feel of smooth skin without hair getting in the way. My reasons don't matter, because they're MY reasons, not yours. What does matter is that not a single one of you have the right to make baseless assumptions about my or anyone else's reasons for disliking body hair. Quite frankly, it's none of your damn business why we like what we like. Why should any of us who dislike body hair respect your reasons for not shaving when you so blatantly spit in our faces for preferring the opposite?

I don't particularly care what other people do with their body hair, but I can confidently say that I don't ever see myself dating someone who takes the natural approach. If you choose to make the leap from "I don't like body hair" to "I hate women," then that's your choice, but I would be embarrassed to be standing in those shoes.

May 08 11 - 3:43pm
blah

Okay, so your argument is, in fewer words "I like to be a victim of anti-woman propaganda/brainwashing and it's my choice, dammit, and the laserhair removal workers need to make money too!" Sure sound like you gained in a BS in anti-critical thinking. Congratulations, especially if it means you're enjoying your fur-less skin with even less guilt.

May 15 11 - 2:44pm
shwetnisha bhilwara

i have also unsave ander arm i love it my no is 9461f81707

Jun 30 11 - 4:12am
shubham

hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Apr 28 12 - 3:14am
sushant

i like to see hairy ander arms, when i see hairy ander arms ,i feel very sex in my body

Jun 11 11 - 10:35am
amit

fuck

Jun 12 11 - 1:46pm
Becky

This has made my day. I wish all poisntgs were this good.

Jun 30 11 - 4:12am
shubham

sexy

Jul 02 11 - 7:32am
sai

sext

Sep 07 11 - 7:21am
kaufen Generika Cial

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Sep 07 11 - 7:21am
kaufen Generika Cial

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Oct 01 11 - 12:44pm
risperdal online

Great post I must say. Simple but yet interesting. Wonderful work!

Dec 28 11 - 10:37am
CeeJ

Question. If a man gains weight, and the women he is dating grows unaattracted to him...is this not the same scenario as the women cutting her hair and the man developing the same feeling? I'm not saying that people should not change there appearance once locked into a relationship, I'm saying, don't expect your partners feelings to last a lifetime. The point of the matter is that sex appeal and attractiveness typically stem from some natural origin. How you feel is how you feel and therefore you shouldn't feel bad for feeling it.

Apr 02 12 - 4:41pm
Hairy

Women should be proud of all body hair and never remove any. in a mixed sauna shaved women look like little girls and unattractive to mature men.

Most men prefer their women to be hairy

Apr 28 12 - 3:20am
susant

my giral frind have hairy ander arms n i like it,