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Sex Advice From Hairstylists

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Wendy, 29
www.wendykidd.com

Should people get fancy with their pubic hair, i.e. use products?
When it gets to the point where it actually becomes a hairdo, it’s a complete turn-off.

My boyfriend is beautiful, but his foot-long ponytail is not. He’d be so much cuter if he just chopped it off. If I can’t fall in love with that ponytail, does that mean we’re doomed?
Yes, you’re doomed. But I would recommend cutting it off while he’s asleep. Pretend it just . . . happened.

My girlfriend’s haircut makes her look like an eleven-year-old boy. It freaks me out to have sex with her. What can I do until it grows out?
I personally couldn’t deal with that. I’d get rid of her.

A friend of mine just started hooking up with another friend. They’re keeping it casual, which delights him; he’s impressed by her ability to keep friendship and sex separate. The only problem: she isn’t. She’s confided in me that she’s falling for him. I feel I have to do something before this gets ugly. What should that be?
I think the smartest thing to do would be to just stay out of it, but if you can’t, make gentle suggestions that something is going on.

My fuck buddy of six months has been patronizing lately. He’s been goading to me when we’re together and doesn’t want to hang out with me and his friends. We’re not in a relationship, but I still wish I knew what was going on. Should I just say fuck it and stop taking his calls?
No, I’d ask him what’s up — while you’re fucking him.

Heather, 29

What’s the proper amount of hair care below the belt?
It’s very important to have a nice trimmed pubic area. I don’t know how attractive gray pubes are. You could dye it, probably with something that’s gentle, maybe Just for Men. But it doesn’t have to be just for men, necessarily.

What’s the best fake meeting story to tell people when you’ve met your new s.o. online?
I’d say I met them in a bar.

How can I revamp my prudish image without looking like a slut?
Try some highlights or long, sexy layers.

My girlfriend says she wants to move in with me — if we keep separate bedrooms, having the occasional “sleepover” in each other’s bedrooms much like we have now with in our separate apartments. We’ve been dating a year; shouldn’t we have more intimacy than this?
No, if they both like their space, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. I love that idea. I mean, my fiancé and I have three bedrooms, and we sleep in the same room. But sometimes you might not want to sleep with somebody. It doesn’t mean your relationship sucks or it’s over. Space is a good thing.

My best friend exclusively likes women who are married or are in serious relationships. These crushes usually go unrequited, and when they are requited, they are always disasters. How can he shake this destructive habit?
If he’s giving all the love and receiving none, he can find a girl who presents another challenge, something other than being married: girls who don’t want to have sex, girls who are never happy, a girl who can never keep money in her pocket . . . new challenge!

James, 32

What’s the proper amount of maintenance below the belt?
If I were a girl, I’d probably get a Brazilian just because of how it sounds: painful but amazing.
So maybe if not shaving had a better name you’d recommend that?
Yes, something instead of just “big bush.”
Should people get fancy with their pubic hair, i.e. use styling products or dye?
No, absolutely not.

A hot chick washes hair at the salon I go to; is it weird to ask her out while she’s washing my hair?
Um, it’s not weird, but I don’t think you’ll get a good response.

How can I revamp my prudish image without looking cheap?
Get a fantastic haircut and a pair of high heels. You don’t have to wear a mini-skirt, just tight jeans, high heels, great haircut.

I’ve always been the person who makes the approach. How can I show a crush that I’m ready to be asked out for a change?
The only way is to be honest and say something like, “When are you going to ask me out?” Seriously! Psychologically, you’ll still be satisfied, and they’ll think, “Shit, I need to get my act together.”

A friend of mine just started hooking up with another friend. They’re keeping it casual, which delights him; he’s really impressed by her ability to keep their friendship and sex separate. The only problem: she isn’t. She’s confided in me that she’s falling for him. I feel I have to do something before this gets ugly. What should that be?
Encourage them to communicate with each other, but don’t get involved — he said/she said is no fun.

What’s the best way to get a hairdresser to go home with you?
When you’re sitting in the chair, where you put your hands can be very, very flirtatious.
What’s the best hand position?
If your arms are on the edges of the rests, and they’re kind of leaning in, a lot times there’s an interaction, a sort of energy, and there’s ways of communicating that. Obviously if someone is married or not single, you have to understand the situation.
Before putting your hands out of the armrests?
Yeah, you can be presumptuous, but you should also be aware of the interaction of energy, because it happens.

Anessa, 29
How important is hair care below the belt? What’s the proper amount of maintenance?

For girls, Brazilian waxes are best. For guys, just clean it up a little.

What’s the best way to incorporate hair into sex?
Wigs.

What’s the best fake meeting story to tell people when you’ve met your new s.o. online? (Give me something interesting, but nothing that would inspire too much disbelief).
Say you met them “out.”

I just found a “relationship book” under my girlfriend’s bed. Listed in it is the first time I spoke to her, asked her out, kissed her, had sex with her, etc. There are also plans for a hypothetical wedding. We’ve been dating seven months. What now?
She sounds crazy. I would maybe ask her why she’s doing this, but running would be a close second.

My boyfriend and I have an open relationship, but we’re in love. When and how should I inform perspective hook-ups of this situation?
I would tell them right away, to let them know there’s not going to be anything that happens between the two of you: “Hey, I have a boyfriend, here’s our situation.”

What’s the best way to get a hairdresser to go home with you?
If you’re in the salon, offer to take them out to dinner, because they’re going to be hungry after work. You’ve been sitting there talking for an hour, so you can usually tell if they’re going to say no.

Carissa, 21

A hot chick washes hair at the salon I go to; is it weird to ask her out while she’s washing my hair?
I do a lot of hair washing, and I would feel weird about that. The best way to go about that is to write your phone number on their tip envelope. Leave an enormous tip and your phone number. I’d give them a call.

How can I tell if my stylish male hairdresser is gay without being uncouth?
If they smell extra good and they look extra trim, and maybe if they have a manicure . . . I’ve never met a straight man who worries about their hands. Also, if they have highlights in their hair, that could be an indicator. I’m not a big fan of the “manlights.” I think every man I’ve ever colored was gay.

So if a guy was getting highlights from you asked you out you’d turn him down?
I’d definitely say no, yeah.

I hate my boyfriend’s foot-long ponytail. Should I keep it to myself?
No, you can drop little hints without being bitchy. Like,”I think you’d look so much better without it” or “Are you in a band? I didn’t know you were in a band.”

I’ve always been the person who does the asking out, I’m successful at it, but I’m also bored with it. How can I show a crush that I’m ready to be asked out for once?
I think the best way to show someone you’re into them is to stare at them a second too long. Just kind of stare at them. I know it sounds kind of creepy, but they’ll get the point.

What’s something everyone should have in their sex drawer other than condoms or lube?

Massage oils.

What’s the best way to get a hairdresser to go home with you?
Buy her a bunch of martinis, and tell her it’s the best haircut you’ve ever gotten, it’s amazing.  

Interviews by Kate Sullivan. Sex Advice From… appears on Thursdays. Have questions for the general public? Send them to sexadvicefrom@nerve.com.


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