Sex Advice From Halo Players

Q. In Halo marathons, do you ever forgo personal hygiene? A: It’s important to keep fresh so your game stays that way too.

By Molly Horan

Jade, 24

Where's the best place to pick up fellow Halo players? 
GameStop, the bus, bars, video game conventions — pretty much everywhere. Everyone loves Halo; unless you're a terrorist, that is. What’s that? You don't like Halo? Do you hate kittens and sunshine, too?

What's hotter, a partner who you can kill (in Halo) or someone who beats you every time? 
I have kind of a complex where I like to whoop ass. I get pissed if I don't win.

Have you ever used a game of Halo as foreplay? 
No, but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't get turned on if my man decided to wear Mjolnir MK VI Powered Assault Armor and pretend he's saving me from the Covenant. "Oh, Master Chief! You've saved me from the Covenant! How can I ever repay you?"

I'm a guy in my late twenties who picked up a guy at a bar and brought him home. He told me he was twenty-two, but I’m a snoop and after he fell asleep, I looked at his license. He is newly seventeen. It's not illegal in my state, and I really had a good time with him. Am I a creep if I call him again? 
Don’t. He lied to you in the first place, so why would you trust him any further than that? Plus, seventeen-year olds don't have their shit together. If you want a boyfriend and a dependent, then keep him around. 

I recently started watching S&M porn and I think it's really hot. I know my girlfriend isn't into it, but I'm finding it harder and harder to get off without it. Should I stick to my porn or risk freaking my girlfriend out by asking her to try it? 
Ooh, I like this one. Let her "catch you" watching it, and see her reaction. You never know, she could be secretly into it, or (even better) willing to try a few new things. Start soft, though, and make sure you have a safe-word. "Crayola" or something that will make either of you come to a halt and go "WTF? Oh yeah, that means 'stop.'"

I've been hooking up with a coworker after hours, consoling myself with the fact that we're equals and thus neither of us could hold power over the other's head. He just got promoted. Should I sleep with the boss, or risk the boss' anger if I end it? 
Self-preservation, dude. Keep fucking the boss. That way, when it's time for someone to get “voted off the island," you’ll have immunity. Just saying. Don't use your status with the new boss to fuck other people, though (figuratively). That will come back to you, and you'll get fucked again, but not in the good way.

Going to a bar, I want to pick up guys, but lately I've been looking for more than a one-night stand. Should I keep my uniform of tight tank tops and miniskirts, or should I wear something a little less revealing to show I'm looking for something more than a fling? 
Keep it sexy and classy. Show some cleavage, but lengthen your skirts and don't fuck on the first date. If you keep doing that, then you'll keep ending up with the same kind of man every morning, and it'll never be Mr. Right. In my experience, it’s better not to let a relationship stem from sex. Give him something to earn. My husband and I waited three months before we had sex, and we've been together for eight years now. Chivalry is worth saving.

I'm twenty-four-years old and I just started my first relationship. Things are going great, but she's started asking me to open up about my past girlfriends. Should I tell her she's the first, or lie about a past so she doesn't get scared off?
No! Don't lie to her, that'll just start things off on a bad, shaky foundation. Next time she asks, be honest. If things are really going great, then you should have no fear. You’re not inexperienced; you're clean and fresh, and she can teach you a few things. And besides, she'll be relieved to hear that there are no psycho ex-girlfriends or baby mamas worry about.