Advice

Sex Advice From Halo Players

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Q. In Halo marathons, do you ever forgo personal hygiene? A: It’s important to keep fresh so your game stays that way too.

JadeJade, 24

Where's the best place to pick up fellow Halo players? 
GameStop, the bus, bars, video game conventions — pretty much everywhere. Everyone loves Halo; unless you're a terrorist, that is. What’s that? You don't like Halo? Do you hate kittens and sunshine, too?

What's hotter, a partner who you can kill (in Halo) or someone who beats you every time? 
I have kind of a complex where I like to whoop ass. I get pissed if I don't win.

Have you ever used a game of Halo as foreplay? 
No, but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't get turned on if my man decided to wear Mjolnir MK VI Powered Assault Armor and pretend he's saving me from the Covenant. "Oh, Master Chief! You've saved me from the Covenant! How can I ever repay you?"

I'm a guy in my late twenties who picked up a guy at a bar and brought him home. He told me he was twenty-two, but I’m a snoop and after he fell asleep, I looked at his license. He is newly seventeen. It's not illegal in my state, and I really had a good time with him. Am I a creep if I call him again? 
Don’t. He lied to you in the first place, so why would you trust him any further than that? Plus, seventeen-year olds don't have their shit together. If you want a boyfriend and a dependent, then keep him around. 

I recently started watching S&M porn and I think it's really hot. I know my girlfriend isn't into it, but I'm finding it harder and harder to get off without it. Should I stick to my porn or risk freaking my girlfriend out by asking her to try it? 
Ooh, I like this one. Let her "catch you" watching it, and see her reaction. You never know, she could be secretly into it, or (even better) willing to try a few new things. Start soft, though, and make sure you have a safe-word. "Crayola" or something that will make either of you come to a halt and go "WTF? Oh yeah, that means 'stop.'"

I've been hooking up with a coworker after hours, consoling myself with the fact that we're equals and thus neither of us could hold power over the other's head. He just got promoted. Should I sleep with the boss, or risk the boss' anger if I end it? 
Self-preservation, dude. Keep fucking the boss. That way, when it's time for someone to get “voted off the island," you’ll have immunity. Just saying. Don't use your status with the new boss to fuck other people, though (figuratively). That will come back to you, and you'll get fucked again, but not in the good way.

Going to a bar, I want to pick up guys, but lately I've been looking for more than a one-night stand. Should I keep my uniform of tight tank tops and miniskirts, or should I wear something a little less revealing to show I'm looking for something more than a fling? 
Keep it sexy and classy. Show some cleavage, but lengthen your skirts and don't fuck on the first date. If you keep doing that, then you'll keep ending up with the same kind of man every morning, and it'll never be Mr. Right. In my experience, it’s better not to let a relationship stem from sex. Give him something to earn. My husband and I waited three months before we had sex, and we've been together for eight years now. Chivalry is worth saving.

I'm twenty-four-years old and I just started my first relationship. Things are going great, but she's started asking me to open up about my past girlfriends. Should I tell her she's the first, or lie about a past so she doesn't get scared off?
No! Don't lie to her, that'll just start things off on a bad, shaky foundation. Next time she asks, be honest. If things are really going great, then you should have no fear. You’re not inexperienced; you're clean and fresh, and she can teach you a few things. And besides, she'll be relieved to hear that there are no psycho ex-girlfriends or baby mamas worry about.

Nathan, 28

Where's the best place to pick up fellow Halo players?
The best place is probably the place you’re already hanging out. Halo players are everywhere. But if you’re willing to embrace your inner nerd, then try a gaming, comic, or anime convention. You’ll be neck deep in them.

What's hotter, a partner who you can kill (in Halo) or someone who beats you every time?
Oh, good question. I’d say one who is on par with you or can beat you every time. There’s nothing like good competition to brew respect for each other and give you that thrill of the chase.

Have you ever used a game of Halo as foreplay?
Can’t say I have, but it could be a good way to turn the tables on someone dominating you in a game of Slayer. 

During Halo marathons, do you ever forgo personal hygiene? If so, how does this affect your sex life?
Never. I can’t stand being stagnant. It’s important to keep fresh, so your game stays that way too.

My boyfriend has a really good relationship with his ex, but when they're together his ex flirts with him constantly. He doesn't reciprocate, but should I be worried?
I wouldn’t be. It would be a good idea to mention it, but be sure to be casual and fun about it. Remind him in subtle ways why he’s with you and that you can give him what she never could. Those stray thoughts you worry about will never cross his mind.

I'm a guy in my late twenties who picked up a guy at a bar and brought him home. He told me he was twenty-two, but I’m a snoop and after he fell asleep, I looked at his license. He's newly seventeen. It's not illegal in my state, and I really had a good time with him. Am I a creep if I call him again?
No, but it would be a good idea to keep it platonic from now on. The difference in maturity and what you expect from a relationship varies greatly from your teens to late twenties. It might be fun for a while, but it won’t lead to anything lasting.

I recently started watching S&M porn and I think it's really hot. I know my girlfriend isn't into it, but I'm finding it harder and harder to get off without it. Should I stick to my porn or risk freaking my girlfriend out by asking her to try it?
Porn is fun, but don’t make a habit of it. You’ll only be skewing your own expectations and desires. If you find S&M exciting, then it never hurts to ask. She may not want latex and zippers, but any girl can handle a pair of fuzzy handcuffs and a smack on the butt.

I've been hooking up with a coworker after hours, rationalizing it with the fact that we're equals at work. He just got promoted. Should I sleep with the boss, or risk the boss' anger if I end it?
That’s tough. If the relationship is going really well then continue, but you may want to give serious thought to how it will affect your job and how your peers will perceive you. Employers take conflict of interest very seriously.

When I go to a bar, I want to pick up guys, but I lately I've been looking for more than a one-night stand. Should I keep my uniform of tight tank tops and miniskirts, or wear something a little less revealing to show I'm looking for something more than a fling?
How you dress does manage a guy’s expectations and his impression of you. You can still be sexy and show off a little less. Less is very often so much more.

I grew up in a conservative religious home that counted sex as the eighth deadly sin. I have a pretty active sex life, but no matter how good it is, I always feel guilty afterwards. How can I shake that feeling?
I would talk to someone about it — a close friend, even your partner. Let them know about those creeping thoughts and maybe a good distraction afterwards (a few rounds of Halo?) will keep your mind occupied so those guilty thoughts never have a chance to surface. It sounds like something that will just take time to get through.

Richie, 27

Where is the best place to pick up fellow Halo players?
I guess it would have to be on Xbox LIVE. Though I'm having a hard time finding a decent gal who'll play Halo with me. I have a couple friends who have married people they met playing Halo. One moved from Germany over to the U.S. to get hitched.

What's hotter, a partner who you can kill (in Halo) or someone who beats you every time?
It would be way hotter if she could beat me. I think it's a good thing when a woman can do something better than a man. If a girl can get on there and play some Halo and kick my butt, that's pretty hot.

Have you ever used a game of Halo as foreplay?
Yeah… I have. It was definitely successful. I would do it again.

During Halo marathons, do you ever forgo personal hygiene? If so, how does this affect your sex life?
Not really. I play a lot of Halo, but I have a life outside of Halo too — that's more uncommon than you would think. My personal hygiene is a big deal to me. Of course there have been a couple times when I've been playing a lot and I've missed my shower. But I don't think that's hot at all, and I don't think any one would appreciate it.

I'm a guy in my late twenties who picked up a guy at a bar and brought him home. He told me he was twenty-two, but I’m a snoop and after he fell asleep, I looked at his license. He's newly seventeen. It's not illegal in my state, and I really had a good time with him. Am I a creep if I call him again?
I'd have to say yes. The age issue is one thing, but it's also important that he lied to you. It boils down to trust. It's not illegal in your state, but you also have to think about how other people will view it. How does it look taking someone home to meet your parents when you're in your late twenties and he's in high school? It just doesn't look good. Yeah, you're a creep.

When I'm go to a bar, I want to pick up guys, but I lately I've been looking for more than a one-night stand. Should I keep my uniform of tight tank tops and miniskirts, or wear something a little less revealing to show I'm looking for something more than a fling?
Definitely tone it down. You see something like that in a bar and most men are thinking that a girl wearing something really tight is trying to get laid. If you're looking for something more than a one-night stand, I'd say dress more conservatively.

I grew up in a conservative religious home that counted sex as the eighth deadly sin. I have a pretty active sex life, but no matter how good it is, I always feel guilty afterwards. How can I shake that feeling?
Stop worrying about what everyone thinks of you. I've had friends who have been in that situation. They got over it because they just kept doing what they enjoyed doing. Family is supposed to be about unconditional love. So if they put conditions on it regarding your sexuality, then screw them.

I'm twenty-four years old and I just started my first relationship. Things are going great, but she's started asking me to open up about my past girlfriends. Should I tell her she's the first, or lie about a past so she doesn't get scared off?
You always have to be honest. I always try to be upfront from the beginning. I guess it's a little pathetic that you're twenty-four and this is your first girlfriend. But you never know, maybe it'll be a turn-on for her. Maybe she can show you a few things. Be honest, man.