Sex Advice From Haunted House Employees

Q: Why is a haunted house a good first-date spot? A: Like they say, fear is a good motivator.

Jerald, 31

Why is a haunted house a good first-date spot?
In general, intense experiences bring people closer — and being shocked and terrified definitely qualifies as an intense experience.

Have you ever caught any customers going too far or fooling around, when they thought no one was looking?
No. But, I did see a guy piss his pants once. I guess he'd say we went too far.

What's the best way to pick up a haunted-house employee?
Catch them when they're on a break, and ask them to tell you more about how they prepare for this kind of role — most of the crew members in a haunted house are actors, and we never miss an opportunity to self-promote or be the center of attention.

I know my boyfriend is cheating on me. I can't prove it yet, but I am certain. Will it put my mind at ease if I tail him for the day?
Whether your boyfriend is cheating or not, you need to get a grip. Just because he might — and I stress might — be a shallow cad, doesn't mean you have to become a crazy stalker. Just ask him to his face if he's cheating. If you don't believe anything he tells you, then cheating isn't the issue, trust is.

My best friend started dating my ex. Should I be supportive of their new relationship, or write them both off as jerks?
Ask yourself: are they happy? Just because you and your ex didn't work out doesn't mean that your friend and your ex won't either. Aren't we all someone else's ex?

My girlfriend was approached by a porn producer. She's always been a bit of an exhibitionist, but I can't believe she's actually considering the offer. Am I wrong not to want my girlfriend to bang other guys for a few bucks?
Before you get too excited, just think how cool it would be to tell your friends you're dating a porn star.

I kept quiet after my girlfriend told me she loved me during sex. Now, she won't even look at me. Is there any way that I can undo what I did... or didn't do?
No, you're pretty much screwed. I imagine she's told all her friends by now too, and they, in turn, told their friends. Your best bet: either say it in a really big way or dump her just to avoid any more grief.