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Sex Advice From Hollister Models
Wise words from those guys who stand around being really, really good-looking.
By Carly Pifer
Ah, summer in New York. The season of movies in the park, weekends in the Hamptons, and models standing nearly naked on street corners. For those of you not lucky enough in a town with a Hollister, each summer, the clothing store hires hunky young gentleman and pays them... to stand around and do nothing. Our intrepid reporter dodged the floor manager to ask them about sex, dating, and how it feels to be really, really good-looking.
Derek, 28 & Jared, 26
What kind of job description came with this position?
D: "Stand around in bathing suits and say hi to people."
Do you ever feel like a piece of meat?
D: Always. Women have been taking advantage of that for more than 2,000 years — now it’s our turn. Women can vote and own property; it’s my turn to be a piece of meat. I want to be objectified and given stuff for free.
J: I don’t feel like a piece of meat.
What’s the creepiest thing that’s ever happened to you on a shift?
J: Being touched.
D: Are you going to break out a doll and be like, “Show me where they touch you?” They just come by and girls grab you, dudes grab you.
J: We never get anything too offensive — aside from the touching.
D: Except there was that guy that walked by and said he could suck both of us off in two minutes.
Do you get away with ridiculous things because you’re beautiful?
J: We definitely get away with more than the average person, yes.
D: I disagree. I mean beauty only gets you so far. You have to have charm and wit beyond that — otherwise you tend to talk yourself into a corner.
J: But you do get things right off the bat because of your beauty.
D: Yeah. I’ve gotten free stuff, free haircuts, free gym memberships, free meals, girls...
If "The Hollister" was a sex position what would it be?
D: Taking it up the butt.
Why are male models better in bed?
D: We have a lot of experience.
How much sex do you have?
D: Do you want a number?
J: Of partners? Or times per week?
D: Over one hundred.
J: That’s a personal question. I prefer quality over quantity.
D: I do too, but sometimes I just get bored.
It’s that easy?
D: It’s easy to get it, but the aftermath is terrible. Girls throw themselves at you, and you just take advantage of it because it’s there.
Would you ever date a model?
J: My girlfriend’s a model. We understand the pros and cons of what we go through, but there’s definitely a large amount of trust that has to go into the relationship. There’s a lot of scandal in the industry, scandalous shoots, creepy people, and pressures that a normal nine-to-five job doesn’t have.
I’m very in love with my girlfriend, but I just found out she cheated on me. Can I take her back, or is it over for good?
D: Nope. Because it’s pathological thing. If she cheats once, she’s going to do it again, especially if you take her back. She’s going to feel that you’ve already said it’s okay. She might not do it while sober, but once she gets inebriated or high, she will repeat the offense.
Have you ever cheated?
J: I cheated on one girlfriend.
I’m trying to make some guy friends, but whenever I meet a new guy, it seems like all they want from me is sex. The minute I make it clear I’m not interested, they’re gone. Can’t men and women be friends?
J: No, you can’t be friends with a guy.
D: It depends on the arena that you’re in. If you’re in the library and you have common interests — studying the same thing or whatever — that’s awesome. If you’re in a bar, don’t even talk to the scumbag because he only wants one thing.
I’ve never been in a serious relationship because I have issues opening up to people. How can I change?
D: Trust can be learned, but it takes a lot of practice to give. I would say, start small and work your way into it. You don’t want to just throw all your trust into one person. People are inherently evil.
People are inherently evil?
D: They’re greedy. They’re selfish. They’re animals.
Do you think the industry you work in has influenced that worldview?
D: I’d think that anyway.