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Sex Advice From Hurricane Relief Volunteers
"Do-gooders don't get enough groupies."
By Kate Hakala
Many communities in New York and New Jersey are still struggling to rebuild after Hurricane Sandy. Please consider donating to Occupy Sandy, the Red Cross, or the Food Bank For New York City. If you're in the area, here's a list of volunteer opportunities. If you want to make a Nerve-appropriate donation, the Ali Forney Center, a shelter for homeless LGBT kids, was completely destroyed by the hurricane, and could really use your help. Thanks.
What's the best reason to sleep with a volunteer?
Big hearts, strong hands, and lots of extra energy to burn off. Plus, do-gooders don't get enough groupies.
What's one thing volunteering has taught you about sex?
It's probably not a great idea to keep your sex toys in the basement. Emily Post doesn't really have an approved way to dispose of a stranger's mildewed, sewage-soaked sex swing or VHS porn ruined by salt water.
"I don't really make that much money, or have insurance, so I'm paying out of pocket for my birth-control pill. Is it totally rude or unheard of for me to ask the guy I'm sleeping with to chip in for half of the costs if I'm letting him come inside me?"
Depends on whether you're sleeping with him exclusively. If he's a boyfriend or long-term fuck-buddy (who I hope has been tested if he's coming inside you), he probably knows the deal, and knows he's lucky to get to ditch the wrapper (PSA: safe sex is great sex!). It's cool to ask if he's willing to chip in what he's saving on condoms to keep his dick in the loins of luxury, especially if his finances are more stable than yours. But if he's just some guy, then it's weird to ask him and your other sex partners to subsidize the pill, especially since you should probably be using condoms anyway, if we're going to get all pedantic about it.
"I just moved to the city and don't know that many people. The dude I'm sleeping with has never made me come. He's smart, funny, and pretty cute, but we're not soul mates. Should I bother sleeping with him again?"
"The dude I'm sleeping with has never made me come and we're not soul mates" — no, you should not sleep with him again. Next question.
"The man who just broke my heart after five months of dating said he isn't ready for a girlfriend right now, even though he's twenty-eight years old. But he said he still wants to be my best friend. It's been a week since he dumped me, and I really miss his company. Can I still be his best friend?"
I don't know. Can you? It depends on how good you are with boundaries. Best friends tell each other everything. Best friends sleep in the same bed sometimes but never slip their hands in one another's pants or caress each other's faces lovingly before kissing one another good night. Best friends sometimes blow each other off for a super-hot date and text each other for outfit advice beforehand. Best friends spend all day together but generally don't fall asleep pining for each other, or keep each other's high-school yearbook photos in their spank banks. Can you do this with the guy who just broke your heart without wanting to crawl into a hole with a pint of ice cream and cry forever, or until your hair gets greasy and your boss takes you aside to ask if everything is okay?
"My girlfriend says I have to trim my ball hair before she will give me head. I don't want to. Should I?"
How long is your ball hair? It's reasonable for her to not want to feel like she's got a beard every time she puts your cock in her mouth. Trim it, bro. It's not like she's asking you to caramel-wax your nuts... though that does sound like it'd be a nice fall treat when I think about it. Just a little clean-up, and you get a more enthusiastic blowjob. What a no-brainer.