Carly, 25

What's your best story about hooking up with someone you met on a volunteer job?
Most of my volunteer work has been more serious and somber, so it's one of those things where you're connecting with someone in a stressful situation or challenging situation that you don't face everyday. It's one of those things where you say, "Hey, let's go out for drinks." You keep up the conversation. The dialogue. And you discuss what happened today. And maybe one thing leads to another and you go to his apartment and make out and have oral sex and then fun is had all around and you say goodbye. Sometimes you see them again and sometimes you don't.

What's one thing volunteering has taught you about sex?
That they're not mutually exclusive.

What are the ethical guidelines for sleeping with someone whose house you just helped fix?
To make both parties not feel like a whore. It gets tricky when you make it feel like there's payment due. If you're volunteering, you're volunteering because you want to offer your time to someone else without expectation of some kind of reward. So, when you become intimate with someone, there's a danger in making either party feel cheap. I think it's important to keep those areas separate. A gift is a gift, and those are two different kinds of gifts you don't want to mix.

Where's the best place to have sex in a pinch if nobody's apartment is free?
I hear in New York washrooms might be kind of popular. As long as you're not making anyone wait a long time to use the toilet, because that's just rude.

"My girlfriend is getting super into volunteer work. She never used to be so self-righteous and overzealous, but now it's all she talks about. Plus, she's overextending herself so much, I'm practically never getting any. I know it's for a good cause, but how do I tell her it's becoming an issue for me?"
Bring up the fact that relationships also need time investment. It's really exciting to get caught up in the idea that you're making a difference, but you can't ignore your present relationships because of something that's giving you a temporary high. If I were the boyfriend, I'd be very proud of her. I'd say, "I'm so glad you found a cause worth working towards and I'm impressed with how much time and heart you've put into it." But, I'd offer up my time to also get involved in it. I think that's a great, healthy way to do something together. I'd tell her, "You need to meet me halfway, but I don't want to take away from your cause. But I also want you to know I want to spend time with you. How can we make this happen?"

"I don't really make that much money, or have insurance, so I'm paying out of pocket for my birth-control pill. Is it totally rude or unheard of for me to ask the guy I'm sleeping with to chip in for half of the costs if I'm letting him come inside me?"
I think that's absolutely fair. I think it becomes tricky if it's not a monogamous relationship. If I'm a female and I'm sleeping with multiple parties, I think it might be unfair to ask one over the other to pitch in for birth control. It'd be weird to have a birth-control fund from various parties. But if it's a relationship that has longevity and both parties are invested in the common goal of not getting pregnant, I think yes.

"My girlfriend says I have to trim my ball hair before she will give me head. I don't want to. Should I?"
Ask her if she'll shave her pussy. But in all seriousness, I don't think it's totally out of the question to like your hair and tell her to be okay with it.

"How do I tell my boyfriend he comes too soon?"
I don't think you can. How long have you been seeing your boyfriend? You ask if you can introduce toys into the bedroom. I think you have to be very delicate about it, because that's definitely an ego killer and may affect your relationship and bedroom time in negative ways.

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