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Sex Advice From Internet Exhibitionists
"Exhibitionism has definitely spiced things up in our bedroom — I get to dress up and he plays director."
by Sean Morrow
Shockingly, there are communities on the internet where people post naked pictures of themselves for a viewing audience. We found some prolific members of one such community to answer your questions about sex and dating.
Has posting your photos online brought you any real-life sex encounters?
Not exactly. I've been in a relationship with the same guy for more than five years and only started posting photos about a year and a half ago, so there haven't been any encounters other than with him, but it definitely spiced things up in the bedroom. I get to dress up and he plays director.
Would you tell someone about it on the first date?
Assuming I didn't meet the person because of my photos, probably not. Although the photos are public, the process of taking them is pretty private. I consider it a bit of a personal kink — I'd have to wait until I'm pretty comfortable around the person to tell them.
Does someone who posts naked photos online have a responsibility to tell their significant other?
Absolutely. If you're in a healthy relationship, sharing things with each other is key. Hiding something like this would put a lot of pressure on you to keep it hiding it and you would be stressed all the time. If your significant other finds the photos through a friend or just by browsing the internet, it would be so much worse than being up front in the beginning; and who knows, maybe your SO would like to participate!
Have your photos ever accidentally leaked out into your real life? Have coworkers, friends or family stumbled up them?
Yeah. When I was in college, I got an online message asking me how I thought my test that day went. I was understandably freaked out and started trying to figure out who the person was. We ended up playing a guessing game and (thankfully) it wasn't my professor, but a another student who sat about a row ahead of me.
I just found out that my boyfriend once had sex with a prostitute in college, and it kind of disgusts me. How can I get over it?
It depends on a couple of things. Were you two dating when he slept with her? Did he tell you about it once you started dating, or did you find out by some other means? Assuming it's after you started dating and he told you about it, all I can say is get over it. Try talking to him about it and see if you can figure out what bothers you so much, but in the end, you're either ok with it or you're not.
My girlfriend wants my Facebook password. I don't have anything to hide, but I just don't like the idea. She's calling it a trust issue. What should I do?
She's right. It is a trust thing. She should trust that you're a good, faithful boyfriend. If she's this controlling now, I'd suggest getting out now. It's one of those "Give an inch and they'll take a mile" situations. Give in to this and she'll find more ways to take over.
I'm gay, and I'm dating someone who isn't out to his family. He's very close to them, but just hasn't come out yet. We're both thirty-two, and we've been dating for a year and a half. When I met his family, he introduced me as his roommate. I'm not sure how much longer I can put up with it, but I can't force him to come out to his family. What should I do?
I think it's time for a serious conversation. I'd say that at thirty-two, his family probably has some sort of inkling that he isn't 100 percent straight. Ask him if he has a timeline of if/when he'd like to come out. It can be really hard on a relationship when you can't be yourself around your SO and his family. If it's something he wants to keep hidden, it might be time to find another boyfriend. Keeping secrets from the people closest to you is never a good idea.