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Sex Advice From Interns

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Sex Advice From Interns

Andrea, 23

I hooked up with an old flame last week. I found out afterwards that he has a girlfriend. I feel awful being the (unwitting) other woman, but what should I do about it?
Ah, the ol’ accomplice-to-cheating situation. You have three options. One: tell the girlfriend. Two: don’t hook up again. Three: keep sleeping with him on the sly. Only one of these options gets you laid. See where I’m going here? As long as you don’t have unrealistic expectations that your fuck-buddy is going to dump his girlfriend for you (he won’t) and the sex is still good, no harm done.

I think my friend’s boyfriend is flirting with me. I don’t want to make my friend worry, but the situation is making me uncomfortable. What should I do?
This happened to me once. Girls always shoot the messenger, so don’t tell your girlfriend, no matter what. She probably sees it herself, anyway. She’s not stupid. Stay as far as possible from the creep and do not, under any circumstances, do anything that could be misinterpreted as flirting back.

What has being an intern taught you about sex? andrea
That I should spend more time getting laid for free than working for almost-free.

What’s the best reason to date an intern?
We’re easily impressed. Oh, you’re employed? You make eight-fifty an hour!? Wow, that’s great. Doesn’t take much, people.

I’m a gay guy, but I keep falling for straight ones. How do I break myself of this bad habit?
Impossible. Lusting for the unattainable is just plain human. You should spend more time convincing Straight Boy he likes the cock than trying to break this habit. If that doesn’t work, two words: sex change.

My roommate keeps bringing random guys home after her nights out. I don’t want to mess with her game, but I also don’t want my stuff stolen. How can I fix the situation?
Who is your roommate bringing home? Jesse James? This is easy. Lock your shit up, or tell your roommate to stop sluttin’ it up with thieves.

I’m torn between two guys. I want to get serious with one, but he doesn’t want to commit. The other does want to commit, but I’m less interested in him. Which one should I stick with and why?
Neither. You’ve got two halves when you need a whole. Cut your losses, go to the nearest bar, and play again.

Maggie, 23

“Intern” isn’t the most impressive job title. If you’re chatting someone up, how do you make your work sound sexy?
Frankly, I think the title “intern” has become a sexy thing. Think about it; you’re in a professional position but at the same time you’re still a student. You’re an adult without all the responsibilities and culpability. Plus, in the aftermath of Monica Lewinsky, “intern” has suggested a young person willing to do anything.

What are the rules for an office romance with interns, since they’re not actual employees?
Keep it on the down-low for at least a couple of months after your internship is over. Also, only pursue relationships with the unmarried members of your office. You don’t want to lose a good recommendation because someone can’t keep it in their pants.

I’m a gay guy, but I keep falling for straight ones. How do I break myself of this bad habit?
You can’t help who you’re attracted to, straight or not. Don’t think about it as an issue of orientation, but more who is in your league. Yeah, I would love to date a guy who looks like Adrian Brody, but I know that I would be perfectly happy with a guy like Seth Rogen. Just remind yourself that one option is not going to happen and that the realistic option is still pretty damn good. maggie

My roommate keeps bringing random guys home after her nights out. I don’t want to mess with her game, but I also don’t want my stuff stolen. How can I fix the situation?
Create a solid-gold room in your house. That way if they stole something it probably wouldn’t be from your stuff. It would be from the gold room.

I have no AC in my apartment. My room is sweltering, even at night. What can I do to make sure sex isn’t unbearable?
Once, after fooling around, I took cold water and lightly sprinkled it on the guy’s back and then blew on it gently. He was covered in goosebumps even though it was hot as hell in the room.

What has being an intern taught you about sex?
You get something out of every experience, whether it’s good or bad. No matter what, you get insight into what works for you.

Camilo, 21

What has being an intern taught you about sex?
Well, I work for a video artist whose current work is all about sexuality. Orgasmic Meditation, the pros of not ejaculating when masturbating, and how to finger are just a few of this week’s topics. I’d have trouble summing up what interning has taught me about sex.

“Intern” isn’t the most impressive job title. If you’re chatting someone up, how do you make your work sound sexy?
Say you’re head-intern or say you’re an assistant. But I just talk about the footage I edited that day. “Today I learned about Sacred Sexuality…”

I’m torn between two guys. I want to get serious with one, but he doesn’t want to commit. The other does want to commit, but I’m less interested in him. Which one should I stick with and why?
Ouch, tough situation. You should always do what’s in your best interests. Maybe you should stick to the one who doesn’t want to commit yet and he’ll eventually realize how fantastic you are. But don’t wait too long. There are plenty of other men besides those two. camilo

I hooked up with an old flame last week. I found out afterwards that he has a girlfriend. I feel awful being the (unwitting) other woman, but what should I do about it?
Consider it a no-strings-attached affair, just another great night with someone you’re comfortable with. If it makes you uncomfortable, just don’t hook up again. If he comes around looking for another booty call, tell him flat out that you don’t want to be that other woman.

I have no AC in my apartment. My room is sweltering, even at night. What can I do to make sure sex isn’t so physically hot that it’s unbearable?
After sex, run to the fridge, take out the ice cubes and whatever else is in there. Stick your arms and faces in there, share the cold space. It’s like cuddling in an igloo. Just don’t let your sweat freeze.

I like my current guy even though we’ve only been out a few times. I just found out he broke up with his girlfriend only two days before our first date. Should I be wary of getting involved with him so soon after his breakup?
If he’s out two days after a serious break up, it means he’s ready for something new and exciting with you. Don’t let something that arbitrary make you skittish unless you know he has a history of hopping from one bed to another. If you like him, just relax and have fun.