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Sex Advice from . . . Israeli Soldiers

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Yotam, 22

My girlfriend and I work together. She outranks me. This makes me insecure and negatively affects our relationship. What can we do about this?
Either bring her boss into the bedroom and have a threesome, or bring someone into the bedroom that’s in a lower position than you are and have a threesome with them. Either way, you’ll feel better about yourself.

My boyfriend and I like to have sex in bathroom stalls. What tips can you give us for sex in tight spaces?
You should have your boyfriend underneath you. Try holding the top of the stall doors while he’s inside you. Another alternative is to have him come from behind while you’re holding the top of the toilet.

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What’s the ideal inconspicuous sex toy to carry around unnoticed?
Use vegetables. Cucumbers or carrots are good because people think it’s your lunch. You can carry them in your lunch box.

I want guys to notice me, but I don’t like to wear tight or revealing clothing. What can I do to get the same attention as the girls who show a lot of skin?
Dress up in boys’ clothing. Every guy thinks girls who look like tomboys are sexy.

What advice would you give couples of differing religions whose family is are against their union?
First of all, forget about your families. This is good advice for any kind of relationship. Then both of you need to become as non-religious as possible in your everyday life.

How can I pick up an Israeli soldier?
The thing you need to understand is that soldiers in Israel are not like soldiers in the U.S. or England. Here it’s different because everyone has to be in the army. So just throw yourself into it. Be gentle and true, and don’t play games. Israelis are not so demanding.

My girlfriend is really loud during sex and the neighbors are starting to complain. What can we do about this?
First, turn the music up really loud. Then, try having her go down on you. Or bring another girl to sit on her to keep her mouth busy.

Dan, 20 gillian

I’m Jewish and in love with a Muslim. Both of our families are pissed. What advice would you give couples of differing religions whose family and friends are against their union?
Go get married in Las Vegas. Then move to the South of Italy where you two can live with your half-Jewish, half-Muslim kids. If your parents want to come and visit, let them come, but this should not be about them.

My boyfriend has a uniform fetish. Other than military, what are some uniforms we could try out?
Try using one of those big dresses from the 1800s with pantaloons underneath. Have your boyfriend play the charming prince and you can be the daughter of some lord the night before your wedding to another man, whom you are not in love with. In this scenario, you’re still a virgin. Pretend your boyfriend, the prince, comes to kidnap you. He takes you to the library and gently takes off your clothing before you go at it.

I have a body complex and don’t like to wear tight or revealing clothing. How can I get guys to notice me anyway?
First, spend some time at home getting comfortable with looking at yourself in the mirror. Then, at the bar, have a few drinks and try to be as natural as possible. You have to come from a place where you can speak as you are.

I’m a straight man with a job that doesn’t allow me access to women for long periods of time. How can I deal with the sexual frustration?
You need to think deeply about the fact that you’re performing an important job. Focus on that. Take your sexual energy and invest it in being the best you can at work.

My boyfriend wants to titty-fuck me, but my breasts are too small. What could we do that’s similar?
Have him stick it between your armpit and your bicep.

Bar, 20shauna

My boyfriend has a uniform fetish. Other than military, what are some uniforms we could try out?
Get a police officer uniform and pretend he’s trying to get away from you. Once you catch him, arrest him and put him in handcuffs. When he’s in your possession, slap him around a bit.

I want guys to notice me, but I don’t like to wear tight or revealing clothing. What can I do to get the same attention as the girls who show a lot of skin?
It’s not about how you look, it’s about your approach, your attitude, your words. Be friendly and inviting. Be forward and flirtatious. Ask the question, “What are you doing tonight?” It’s all in your head. And then there are some guys who like insecure, shy, innocent women, so with them you don’t need to do anything at all.

My girlfriend and I work together. She outranks me. This makes me insecure. What can we do about this?
Try humiliating her a bit. As far as positions are concerned, do her from behind, doggie-style.

I’m Jewish and in love with a Muslim. Both of our families are pissed. What advice would you give couples of differing religions whose family and friends are against their union?
It really depends on what you feel for one another. If you’re feeling that this is a big love, don’t listen to anyone else. It’s your life and your relationship. If your families become overwhelming, you may need to move away from them.

My girlfriend and I are about to break up and we work together. What should we do?
One of you needs to be the mature one and consider quitting. The situation can only get worse than it already is. You knew the risk when you became involved. Now you need to pay the price.

I like to have sex in bathroom stalls. What tips can you give my boyfriend and I for sex in tight spaces?
Do it standing up, and wear a skirt with no underwear. Have your boyfriend pull you up over him and bang you while you’re against the wall.

I want guys to titty-fuck me, but my breasts are too small. What could we do that’s similar?
Push your head down to one side, against your neck, and have him put his penis in between.

My boyfriend has been working out and he’s put on a lot of muscle. Now he’s asking me to get buff, too. What should I do?
You should get buff and then hit him really hard. No one should tell you what to do with your body.

Eilon, 19jen

I’m a straight man with a job that doesn’t allow me access to women for long periods of time. How can I deal with the sexual frustration?
If you have a woman, you can talk to her on the phone. Or, if you happen to be stationed on a boat, consider going to the bow and jerking off there, like in Titanic.

I have a uniform fetish. What uniform could I have my boyfriend wear for me?
Have him wear a bunny suit so that you can play “where’s the carrot?”

My boyfriend and I like to have sex in bathroom stalls. What tips can you give us for sex in tight spaces?
In the bathroom, have your boyfriend sit on the toilet seat. You should be hovering over him, half standing, half sitting. Then have him help you with his hands, guiding you up and down.

My girlfriend is really loud during sex and the neighbors are starting to complain. What can we do about this?
You should do absolutely nothing. No one has the right to tell you what to do in your home, particularly when you’re having sex.

I want guys to titty-fuck me, but my breasts are too small. What could we do that’s similar?
Place his penis between your butt cheeks.   


Interviews by Marisa S. Katz. Sex Advice From… appears on Thursdays. Have questions for the general public? Send them to sexadvicefrom@nerve.com.

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