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December 18, 2009
Adrienne, 60
What's the best way to seduce a Jewish person?
With a nice brisket.
What's the biggest difference between Jews and Gentiles in the dating world?
About one inch.
What's the best sex advice you've given to your son or daughter?
I have two sons and I have advised them to keep it in their pants. They never listen to me, but I tried!
My boyfriend is Jewish, I'm not, and I'm about to meet his parents for the first time. I know that Jewish parents often prefer their children not date "shiksas," non-Jewish girls. How can I still make a good impression and let them know I'm not a scary Gentile?
Don't act like one. Dress nice, smile, and talk with them. Being nervous is natural when meeting anyone new. It's expected. Show a genuine interest in their son and focus on him more than yourself. A Jewish mother has only one wish where her son is concerned: she only wants to know that her son is happy.
My long-term boyfriend has taken a job in California. I love him, but I don't want to leave my fantastic job here in New York. How can we make our relationship work long-distance?
Phone sex! But it won't last long. I hate to break it to you, but the odds are against you.
There's this really cute guy at my synagogue and I want to ask him out, but I only see him at services. What's the best way to approach him without being sacrilegious?
Follow him into the bathroom. There's nothing sacred in a room with dirty toilets.
Commentarium (17 Comments)
The arguing! It's so true. Whenever I'm at my boyfriend's, I think that the family is coming apart at the seams - so much yelling! The gentiles hold it all in and just drink and then gossip about it later! Behind each other's backs, as it should be.
Too bad you couldn't interview the most famous Jewish mother of all, Mary. Though I guess her sex advice might not be accurate.
Wow! Jewish mothers advocating the use of recreational drugs to steam up the sex life, I admire the progressiveness of their faith!
Best set of advice! When ever you want to get the truth. I mean no beating around the bush, straight talk, ask a jewish woman. They tell it like it is.
Also the author of this article is wonderful! I have been following her work and I love it
I think this is clinically referred to as a boner killer.
I find it surprising that none of these women didn't start foaming at the mouth from the shiksa question. Great SAF, though. These women know their shit.
This article just makes me love my mother even more. Straight talker, to the point, and always a bit of wry humor. American Jews have the best culture-wide inside jokes.
And yes, the better the brisket, the bigger the turn on.
Try recreational drugs? Fantastic.
recreational drugs...LMAO...I'm so glad I'm at least 1/2 jewish! Now guess which half!
YES! Try recreational drugs!!! A refreshing change from the "Just Say No!" that has been pounded into my head since the 80's. I want a "Try Recreational Drugs" t-shirt. I would rock it.
"About one inch."
Aha ha haha
Adrienne is awesome. Not much of a Jewish community here in Alaska....not sure if I have ever even met a Jewish person or not....
Against all odds this one has been the greatest of all the "Sex Advice From..."
In my experience its been closer to 2inches unless safardic...
For many reasons I knew my mate would be of the goyish (gentile) persuasion. I grew up in LA which sucked. San Diego was a little better. The Bay Area was worse. I really wasn't in my comfort zone. Vancouver (Canada) was an improvement. But when I hit the great state of Minnesota, I was a kid in a candy store. Within 10 months I got more QUALITY action than in my previous 23 years. I even had choices. A very well endowed Homecoming Queen in Brainerd (130 north of Minneapolis), a gorgeous piece of trailer trash in Onamia (about 70 miles north), or a 5'9", 119 pound drop dead stunner from Rochester who was living in a Minneapolis suburb. Nine pounds heavier, 1" shorter 3 kids richer and 35 years older, she still makes my adrenalin flow when she lets me do nice things to her. I had a boss who was a real player who said, " if you can't get #*?+! in Minneapolis, you need to consider paying for it.
I am so moving to Minneapolis. Thanks Stan.
I need an explanation (not a solution). I have a friend, agnostic, not Jewish, who is simply the finest person I know. Pinnacle of integrity and selflessness.
For 25 years he has lived with a Jewish girl. Neither want kids. As above, he treats her like gold because she's a wonderful person as well. A relationship I envy.
But the parents and grandparents do not respect him. Why? Well you know why...he's not Jewish. The family isn't Orthodox so it would seem to me that values trump belief. No?
Please, your opinion. Are the parents cheating the daughter? Is the daughter selfish?