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June 25, 2010
Wes, 19
What's the best way to pick up a Juggalo?
The best way to catch my eye is to be true to who you are. If you say you are about something, then be about it. Piercings and tattoos are a plus.
I’ve got my eye on a Juggalo, but I’m not a Juggalette. Do I still have a shot?
I have dated a couple of girls who weren’t ‘lettes. Most Juggalos don’t care if you are or aren’t. If a ‘lo connects with a girl then he’s going to like her and possibly date her. It is possible.
Do Juggalos have sex in clown makeup?
I’ve only done this once and she wasn’t even a Juggalette. So I guess you can say we do; I’m pretty sure most of us have tried it.
I've been getting serious with a guy. The more I get to know him, the more I realize he's super Christian. I'm not, even a little bit. Should I end it?
This wouldn’t be a big deal for me unless she is a pushy Christian. Then I may have a problem because she isn’t respecting my beliefs. But most Juggalos I know are Christians and go to church often. But there are some, such as myself, who are atheists or practice other religions.
What’s the craziest thing you’ve seen at a juggalo event?
The craziest thing I’ve seen was at the last concert on Mother’s Day here in Memphis. This chick was getting fucked during the concert and her "man," or whatever he was, was hitting it from behind. I was in front of her so she started kissing my neck. I was like "Get the fuck off me!" That’s hands down the craziest.
I'm dating a guy who doesn't smoke. I don't want to seem like a junkie, but the sex isn't as good with out it. Is it okay to sneak off and get high before we go to bed?
Well, I for one don’t smoke weed. Nor have I had sex while high. It's just not worth going to jail, or the money you paid for it. There are a million and one things I could think of buying instead of pot.
I was really into this girl. Recently, I looked through her iPod and noticed it was nothing but Ke$ha and Lady Gaga. Is "terrible taste" an okay reason to break things off?
No. She probably thinks the same about your music. But just because she listens to that type of music does not make her undatable. Just like liking ICP or other bands like them doesn’t make you a Juggalo. Any true Juggalo knows this. So don’t be so quick to judge.
Commentarium (108 Comments)
This is absolutely the best demographic of people for the column. Seriously not sarcasm- this was hilarious. I couldn't tell what I was laughing at.
Woah, I feel like I know so,so,so much more about Juggalos than I did before.
fuckin' a, why would i want to know how to pick up a "juggalo"?
@lp - to find out where that particular strain of hep c originated from?
having an ipod full of gaga and ke$ha is more than enough reason to be booted... :)
Having an iPod full of ICP is more than good enough reason to be shot. :)
whut thu fuk is dat supposed tuh meen you fag
@freakshow I think it means ICP blows you dumbass. And you need to learn to type.
Thats why your anonymous hoe...fuck the hater clone bitches...go suck a republican dick and pay your bills!
icp is the most immature shit ive ever heard and seen. bunch of people acting like 15 year olds their whole life. i used to be into icp, then my balls dropped and i grew pubes and was like "wow, wtf was wrong with me"
i'm a girly girl and work at bebe.
i like icp. abk. twitzed and other genres of that music.
rap is rap.
words are words.
some songs by them are really touching.
i'm into juggalo guys.
because they know what they want most the time.
family means everything.
and you can expect them to be loyal, if they're really into you.
they are honest to the t.
its a way of living.
and its sexy to do what you want.
i'm into that.
Juggalos seem like very open-minded, sweet people. Who knew?
Dammit, I was expecting hypocritical "we are so non-conformist, regular people suck" lame-ass attitude, and instead we get normal, sensible people. How am I supposed to make snap-judgments based on people's appearance and interests if you keep throwing me these curve balls?
who knew they were so tolerant and into face painted orgies
It seems that Juggalos are a lot smarter than their idols. "How do magnets work" indeed.
ever heard of sarcasm? I didnt think so
The Concert Incident Wes talked about sounds fucking hilarious
Fuckin magnets, how do they work?
I hung around with the Juggalo crowd for about...6 years. Just kind of faded out of it. Amusingly, they one thing that they hate more than anything else are people that are judgmental, and it always amuses me that they're typically more open-minded, intelligent, and even polite than the majority of the people that pass judgement on them. It's typical, really. People always trash what they don't understand, and in this case, it's the judgmental individuals' loss.
wow u rly r a juggaho to be dedicated to there music fer 6yrs anden jus ferget about it????? thu FUK IS WRONG WICH U
he can do whatever the fuck he wants
@freakshow It's called growing up.
If anyone is seriously thinking about breaking up with someone because of terrible music on their iPod, may I submit for your consideration the fact that I work out to TERRIBLE music that I would be humiliated for a boyfriend to find out about. And it's all over my iPod. But it does get the blood pumpin.
HOW DO THEY WORK?
These people are great PR for Juggalos
WHERE BABBY GET MADE HOW?
Magic all up in this bitch!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
*wipes away tear*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
this makes me proud to be a juggalo lol
I used to be into ICP in middle school, considered myself a juggalo, but I have never got along with any random juggalo I have met except about 3. All the other ones I have met are obnoxious, annoying, and don't shower.
sounds lyk me
@freakshow "obnoxious, annoying, and don't shower." it does sound like you. you're right.
But this article was some good PR indeed...
wow. they may be different, but they have some really mature points of view on some of these topics.
NONE OF THEM EXPLAINED HOW MAGNETS WORK.
ARE YOU A SCIENTIST?
Much more down to earth than I expected. Seems like good people.
I wonder how many thousands of tards they had to sort through before they found the 3 with semi working brains.
"Family" in this case just means "Paint your face, buy anything ICP puts their name on, and stop thinking for yourself."
MAGNETS! HOW DO THEY WORK?
It's amazing how many supposedly adults walk around and pretend it is Halloween all the time. Grow the fuck up and do something productive.
NIGGA SHUT THU FUK UP ! YOU RUN YOUR BITCH ASS CONFORMISTS LIFE THU WAY YOU WANT TO AND WE RUN R LYFES THU WAY WE WANT TO AN UNUTHER THING AGE DNT FUKKIN MATTER
Define stereotype: freakshow
What I think of all this is.. I need to keep you in my prayers and hope Jesus Christ can show you a better life :-)
That is the most dumbass comment ever. If u had ever spoken to a 'juggalo' about religion you would realise how stupid u sound.
Protip: Asking a juggalo for relationship advice is like asking a car mechanic to examine your anus.
my mechanic loves giving me a tune-up. isn't he supposed to be checking my anus with his dipstick?
how does shitty subculture that steals from goth for their expectations of girls and has no decent music work?
I poop on this Juggalo phenomenon
fuckin relationships how do they work?
lol
How come every single one of them answered the question about a super Christian GUY as if it were a girl? Did y'all at Nerve change the pronouns on them to make 'em look dumb? Because that's bad form right there.
I was wondering the same thing...
Who knew furries were so thoughtful and open minded?
Sh*tty music like lady gaga? Wow. Last time I checked gaga can actually sing unlike these morons who are complete imbeciles. H*ll bent on destroying music as we know it also everyone of their so called fans I've met has no real knowledge of music and just tries to take some pseudo high road about the argument. Lame.
an yu ROBBERT wut a bitch ass name... ICP dont try to DESTROY MUSIC an UNUTHER THINg icp AINT duh ONLY group out ther frum psychopathic records
@bonkus: F***in' miracles....
Santa Claus created all of us equal!
FUK SANTA THAT FAT BITCH DNT BRING ME SHIT AND FUK U FER BELEAVIN THAT SHIT
What do you think?nothing 4 2day....
What do you think?nothing 4 2 day.....
i was fuckin this slut up in her dirty ass threw the rubber out the window as the car passed funny thing tho i didnt see you standing in the grass and it stuck to your fuckin mustache..... IN YO FACE!!
(sigh)
I was full on expecting to be ripping on these people, but alas they seemed rather sensible. I'm admittedly a bit disappointed. I suppose that since the band they seem to focus on so intently is absolutely retarded one expects them to be as well.
Still...
Obsession of such a group of complete morons does allow for the sanity and reason of the followers to become suspect.
wow, okay, apparently I would rather hang around with juggalos than a random sampling of portland hipsters. who knew?
I like turtles
That right there is the winner's circle for sure.
I would bang Ninjalette way better than her boyfriend ever could hope to.
Search 'icp grinder' on ebay! Buy that shit! This dude's got ashtrays, "herb" grinders, bic lighters, shot glasses, all types of shit thats fresh!
Fuck all the haters!!!
Juggalos should not be allowed to breed. PERIOD.
I swear, the Juggalo movement has to be the worst form of youth rebellion ever. Just the fact that they have an "official" soda brand speaks volumes about how desperately they try to create identifiers for themselves.
I'm pretty sure this kid is either gay or a virgin. I don't understand why these kids enjoy looking look like a retarded clown and white trash. I feel bad for the future.
Juggalos are the reason I have a concealed handgun license. Methed out freaks with face paint.
I don't like ICP at all but these people seem pretty cool, nonjudgmental. Even though this may be a rare case and the rest could be bad, I am going to take back everything bad I said about ICP. I still don't like the music but that doesn't mean someone else could and I will respect that. They would probably think my music is weird also.
Faygo is not a juggalo brand- it's just the cheapest soda sold in Michigan where they guys started and so all these broke kids caught on to it. We Faygo fans aren't happy about, especially because it doesn't even get it shipped out of state when we move :(.
This made me see Juggalos and lettes in a different light. This kid seems pretty open minded and chill, just into lame stuff. He probably thinks I'm into lame stuff. To each his own eh?
I don't wanna talk to a scientist
Y'all motherfuckers lying, and getting me pissed
great lyrics right thereee
rad!!!!
Look at you judgeing ass haters, jealous cuz we got identities besides some clan tag on WOW. I've been down since 96 so yall missed alot in the movement, & to those that once was u never were. OH by the way I shaved my nuts so now you won't get rug burn from swinging so hard
So Juggalos can break up with people over bad musical taste? How... but... whu...
What do you think?
Who is gay or a virgin because im neither of those :D
People hate what they don't understand. Instead of being threatened by the way other people think, you should develop your own ideas. There is no such thing as perfect. And it is my opinion that there are two kinds of lower class people: The ones that make mistakes time and time again and lose it all- who blame everyone except themselves, and the ones that are born in a life they didn't ask for and some how find their own outlet. Even if it's connecting to others through music.
As for the whole Faygo Soda, it's cheap and it's delicious, and most likely the same flavors you grew up loving. Oh, and F.Y.I. it would be "unofficial." They didn't create it.. They merely adopted it.
A group of 'lettes and 'los together, is no different than anyone else who hangs out with other people who have the common interests. If anyone wants to be stereotypical... They just tend to be more indentifiable.
If you hate the Juggalo Movement, that is for you to hate for your own reasons. Treat others how you wish to be treated. We are all human beings and when it comes down to it- Regardless of clothes, beliefs, and interests, we all bleed the same color and we all have something to say when others step on our toes.
You may disagree with my comment and that is fine. I will respect your opinion if give me the same curtiosity.
i still dont get what the fuck it is to anyone about how we live what we do or the music we are into...
has it ever crossed anyones mind maybe that shity fuckin boy band you listen to prolly has a few lettes playin that shit around town in the car also. im also a metal-head slayer venom and six feet under. and at a metal show all these metal heads are all prideful over their common interest. some of you people should check out that person next to you a lil bit next concert you go to, be it fuckin ac/dc or lady gaga you prolly gunna spot a few lotus tats n a hatchet or two
oh and to the guy about the faygo, they sell faygo nationwide man, i have found it in texas, and here n ohio its in every mom n pop shop, gas station, walmart, grocery store. even the hardware stores sell it here
gas. them. all
Funny enough, I know this kid. Went to high school with him. He wasn't a juggalo back then though.
While I can't really stand the music too much, I have recently found the "Juggalos" I've met at various underground rap concerts to be pretty amiable people. They're just out there having fun in their own weird ways. Life is too short to hate on them for that...
Why didn't they interview the "juggalo funeral" couple about sex advice?
well first we have sex in a pile of garbage next to a venue in detroit,then I get pregnant,then I do a lot of drugs, then I have a miscarriage,Then I show up to the funeral looking like the fattest most retarded white trash asshole ever born.
faygo is delicious. in agreement there. I don't wear it, but I totally drink it.
face paint can be fun.... I listen to a lot of black metal so I can't be a hypocrite there.
but seriously..... a lot of the "juggalo movement" are a bunch of unproductive members of society who STEAL merchandise adorned by their idols from "Hot Topic".
(don't try to contest this....I have witnesses it at least 2 dozen times.)
every sad sack of trash in your movement talks about acceptance and respect.... well maybe your majority should take your advice. i have seen your fan base alienate people at bus stops, bowling alleys, malls and just about anywhere fat unemployed drug addicts linger around.
take your face paint off,go back to school, and learn how magnets work.
it's a miracle you guys haven't committed a mass suicide yet, Please O' please, don't do the world a favor and go to the "dark carnival"
nazis were just having fun in their own weird way too.
How immature and ignorant does one have to be to judge others? Its a good question isn't it? Most of you on this blog have said horribly ugly and just plain rude comments about other human beings based on the culture they follow, the clothes they wear, and the music they listen to. Do any of you realize what horrible people you are for condemning others you do not know. None of your comments are even based upon what these young people said or the message they were talking about. Not one of these people said horrible nor judgmental things about anyone else's culture they were rather accepting of others beliefs. Maybe you need to stop and think. What if they are the kind and loving society and you are the awful , rude, retarded, trash, hypocrites that walk the earth?
Ok first off there is nothing wrong with being a Juggalo or a 'lette. I've been down for 17 years now. We like what we like and thats it. Didn't your parents ever teach you the concept of individuality? And if you would take time to listen to the music you'd know what we are about. We are a family. We take care of our own and accept everyone your "civilized society" deems an outcast. I have yet to meet a true 'lo or 'lette who is on meth or anything harsher then weed. As for us being retards I am about to graduate with a masters in Criminal Justice and in my graduating class of 230 over half of us are juggalos or juggalettes. In the last month I have helped put away 2 child molesters and a murderer, members of YOUR "civilized society". What have you haters done that is productive to society?? Sitting at home on your lazy ass watching porn on the computer dont count. So do some research before you run your mouth about shit you know nothing about. And you people talk about us alienating your people like its a cardnal sin yet you feel free to do it to us and get mad when we call you on it? Talk about hypocrites. As for mass suicide... Did you ever think you so called normal people are the minority? The Juggalo Family is growing to be the prodominate culture in this country. So maybe you should be the ones considering mass suicide. We are the ones you cast out because we could think for ourselves and chose to be differant yet you frown on us for finding somewhere to belong. funny how that works.
lol...people crack me up...ya all surf the net to find a site to bitch at one another. stale if ya ask me. and its on a website for 40 year old vrigins lol. pretty sad ya gotta come to a site to figure our how to love and fuck.
lol...people crack me up...ya all surf the net to find a site to bitch at one another. stale if ya ask me. and its on a website for 40 year old vrigins lol. pretty sad ya gotta come to a site to figure our how to love and fuck.
i like this jugglow but he fucks guys in the ass....??? and like i love him in all but he wont admit that its fucking GAY.
do u think this means hes reallly not down wit the clown...
is it ok for a jugglo to fuck other jugglos in the ass ?????? HELP ???
ps he REALLY fucks in the ass...
he has no intrest in you hes a guys boy run while you can
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its us
vs.
the people
This was a pretty cool feature. I like how most of their answers are actually quite similar.
" Juggalos can’t dance, you know? So I guess they got to do something." LOL
"I’ve got my eye on a Juggalo, but I’m not a Juggalette. Do I still have a shot?"
I can't believe none of them got it that this really meant, "Do Juggalos hook up with other Juggalos?"
Or Juggalos and other Bro's.
I'm not used to people who aren't a part of the juggalo family to be defending us. Could I truly be so misinformed about the common populace? I've so long found the most vocal to be abhorrently vile in their manner of dealing with counter culture. I suppose the hippies felt the same. What does it mean when counter culture becomes accepted?
Boomers I'm looking to you on this one.
In more practical matters, all who revere the juggalos as miscreants, idiots, obnoxious, what have you...
I do recall a large gathering of people in Washington D.C. chanting and clamoring to shut down the federal government, despite the fact it would do nothing shy of decimate their way of life in ways they have no capacity to fathom. These people claim themselves the creme de la creme of society, despite the fact they only encompass 33% of the American populace. The tragedy is, these people have a real effect on the day to day existence of Americans. These are the people you must fear. These are the people that will bring about the end of our great country. Not conservatives, but those who would sacrifice the greater good for self benefit. I emplore you, turn your vitriol to the true idiots of this country. They hold a sway all to great for our own good. Let the voices that condemn alternative expression be reminded that alternative expression is within the foundation of our country. That we are a land of people who live and die for the sake of the freedom of expression. Let us not forget that to be a rebel, to defy the status quo, to stand up for individuality, to do what is within our power to make our mark any way we see palpable is nothing shy of the heart of what it means to be an American.
God save the juggalos, for they represent America at it's finest: unwavering against the tides of societal conformity. For if conformity were the rule of law, it would be God save the Queen. Lest we forget...
All the people leaving hate messages, you took your time to read the article and then moan about it. At least juggalos don't spend their time bitching about other people and enjoy life. I don't want to be in the rat fucking race.
i want to be a jugalet but i have no ida what the 6 cards are
what i hate juggols
i need a work...of juggalo